How to deal with Parents?

[sher_panjabi]

When I wanted to take Amrit, everyone said "take amrit after you get married... what if you don't find an amritdhari wife?"

Then i had people saying, "take amrit after marriage, we want sharaab at your wedding."

"You are soo young, at this young age why do you want to take Amrit. You are 17 yrs old - you have a long life awaiting yoy -- take amrit when you are older".

Little did they know, that i started to live when I gave my head to Guru ji and was born in the Khalsa family!!

I kept Rehat and wore Panj kakaar for a year before taking Amrit. While I was at sixth form for two years I remained Panj Kakkaari.

I gave a talk at Sixth form -- "introduction to yourself"... i wore kirpan and carried a kanga that day. From that day on, i thought "are my Guru ji's kakkaar for show, or for wearing?" I started behaving, talking, and acting like an Amritdhari.

Seeing my commitment to rehat - me taking amrit wasn't as a shock as me keeping kesh.

Though some people gave usually rubbish "Giani ban-gaya" "Baba Ban-gaya"

My family were supportive and after finishing sixth form and A Level exams, my mum went with me to India. We went to Sri Akaal Takhat Sahib and my mum waited there for me while I took Amrit and gave my head to Guru ji.

Worst was some relatives who hate Amritdhari and dislike the Gurdwara.

On Christmas day my drunk Mama said "You are okay, but the rest of the singhs are corrupt, eat Gurdwara's money and are dodgey. Religion is cause of wars, death and misery. All problems in world are because of religion. What have Sikhs done for the world! Just go to the Gurdwara and con people!"

He slandered Gursikhs and Guru Ghar.

:cool: I got so upset that I told my Mama ji that "The Khalsa is my family. Like or not, the people who you hate are my brothers and sisters. Guru Gobind Singh ji is my father and Mata Sahib Kaur is my mother. If i insulted a member of your family good or bad, how would you feel?

If you wish to hurt my feeling and on purpose make your nephew feel upset then please go ahead and slag off my family. If not, then please respect my wishes."

The conservation ended and my drunk mama ended up leaving the room.

Life can be hard - but stick to your guns and remain Chardikala! :TH:

"Jio Supnaa Ar Pekhnaa Aise Ja Kau Jaan. En Mai Kachh Saacho Nehee Nanak BIn Bhagwaan... recognise this world to be like a dream. Nanak, Nothing is true other than God."

"Teri Bhagat Naa Chhodo Bhaavai Log Hasae... I will not leave the path of your devotional worship even if everyone laughs at me"

[Mehtab Singh]

i wud sing this when things wud get hard to handle

mo kau khw sqwvhu bwr bwr ]pRiB jl Ql igir kIey phwr ]

ieku rwmu n Cofau gurih gwir ]

mo kau Gwil jwir BwvY mwir fwir

Prahlaad answered, ""Why do you annoy me, over and over again?

God created the water, land, hills and mountains.

I shall not forsake the One Lord; if I did, I would be going against my Guru.

You might as well throw me into the fire and kill me.""||

obviously they didn't understand a word...

but the power of bani made me feel stronger :nihungsmile:

[navdeep kaur]

waheguru ji ka khalsa, waheguru ji ki fateh!

i never had trouble with keeping kesh or anything...my parents are amritdhari so...what i still am having trouble with is that my parents don't want me wearing a chola, khandas and malas on my dastaar, more than one kara, big kirpans, listening to kirtan when i m doing my homework or basically anytime tht i cud be doing other work....and these things keep us arguing and stuff...it is so frustrating because when i wear a chola i feel extra proud of sikhi, khandas and malas make me feel in chardi kala....they think that i just wear these things to show off...i listen to kirtan bcz that helps me concentrate on homework and other chores...but they think tht i am disrespecting gurbani by doing other things and not fully paying attention to either thing that i am doing (but i am)...i don't know how to get them to just leave me alone on these topics...i have tried talking to them but they just don't listen.

waheguru ji ka khalsa, waheguru ji ki fateh!

[Jaspaul Singh]

wow..

I am speachless.. i am very pleased i made this thread guru kripa naal as i am very shocked on the stories and experiences i jsut read ...

... Ill share my experiences...

... i wasnt into sikhi at all till the last 2-3 years. I had my joora, uncut hair, till i was about in grade 3. But cuz of pressure from peers and to the point people use to make fun of my hair, calling me names, trying to cut my hair with scissors, trying to take the 'rag' off my head which was a patka i use to wear.. and the list goes on and on ..

... my parents werent much into sikhi but still did their paath as they thought (and still do) that its a must and we should do it but nobody understands why do we have to do it ... out of fear or pyaar ? This is the biggest question amongst most parents and i just realized this recently...

... my dad cut my hair cuz of this pressure in grade 3. I had no friends upto this point and after cutting my hair i started getting involved in groups but still, growing up in toronto, not many sikhs are there, and they still isolated me from groups and still calling me names such as packi, hairy, etx...

...after moving to brampton for grade 10, i met other fellow indians for the first time and i was shocked to see these many indians so i started chillin wit them and having them as my sangat but still they werent of the sikhi 'type' which was cool...

...3 yrs ago i took amrit, i still didnt know the full meaning of amrit but i still went along wit it cuz i thought i guess thats what im missing in life... all the peer pressures, discrimination, isolation, etx.. i faced in life i thought maybe if i go this way ill feel more 'wanted'... and i guess this is the real reasonf or me taking amrit... in a way i rushed it...

... my parents always encouraged me on the way. Main thing they told me was dont rush things, but still even though i did rush it i dont wanna turn around my past cuz it reli is helping me now to understand myself better recently...

...you know ... all this stuff you guys outlined about the relatives saying stuff to you, about your own friends, about how you look etx... i got ALL of that...

...my family still thinks i shouldnt go to extreme with things. But u know what im at that stage now where im more independent and i told them look ... sikhi is my life please dont discourage me when im following my sikhi i wanna follow it how it shouuld be to the max...

... my parents never discouraged me from following sikhi but they did when i got too attatched to it in their eyes. Even if i mentioned sant Jarnail singh ji ... just mentioning his name i got looks from my parents since their views on him is a wrong person who did ntohing but wrong who was a terrorist... dats fine they have their views i have mine ... da most i can do is talk to them and try to explain to them the real side...

... anyway ... i cant explain to u guys ... some of you how lucky u r to have sangat of sikhs all ur life. People like me ... exp[ecially when my fmaily no one is amritdhari and more r reli into the cultural side of it ...

... but guru kripa naal i can say this much that i did have some impact in my family where some of my relatives r thinking of taking amrit ...w ell thats a big step but most have let go of drinking... eating meat... doing drugs... and that i think is the biggest impact i may have had in my family... guru kripa naal...

... parents r the best support we have. But when they start forcing you into doing something that is totally wrong... i am against that...

... the main thing needed here is prachaar in our families... i know we prob all got the saying "Your too small, you dont have experience in the world, we know more than you, etx...." ... eventhough we get this all the time... i still do ... we still should do prachaar in our own families first and talk to relatives, brothers, sistesr, parents, and the main ... hahaha grandparents... why ?? Since they r too caught up in the caste systems n stuff

... ok i guess i should wrap up here... i dont thin i made any sense but keep the posts coming ... lets hear more experiences ...

bhul chuk maph

[Jaspaul Singh]

i wud sing this when things wud get hard to handle

mo kau khw sqwvhu bwr bwr ]

pRiB jl Ql igir kIey phwr ]

ieku rwmu n Cofau gurih gwir ]

mo kau Gwil jwir BwvY mwir fwir

Prahlaad answered, ""Why do you annoy me, over and over again?

God created the water, land, hills and mountains.

I shall not forsake the One Lord; if I did, I would be going against my Guru.

You might as well throw me into the fire and kill me.""||

obviously they didn't understand a word...

but the power of bani made me feel stronger :nihungsmile:

97295[/snapback]

... and i love this shabad !!!!

[waheguru_fateh]

i am also the amritdari person in my family and my parents are behind me 100 %even tho noone in my family except me has kesh and my sisters still eat meat even tho i do not support it is jus remember who my true brothers and sisters are and who my true parents are.