Ego

[H-K-S]

I was hoping that the sangat could clear up some confusion. Being proud of oneself, or having ego is not the Sikhi way of life. Putting down others or belittling them is wrong, right? But, what if the person deserves to be put down? For example, a criminal , theif, rapist, *greedy politician* etc. Could you bad mouth them and their actions? Is a Sikh also not supposed to let negative comments about them get to them? In other words, if someone talks negatively about you, should you let it get to you and avenge the comments, or should you remain neutral and not let the remarks get to you? If you remain neutral, isn't that sort of letting the person stomp all over you? Is there such a thing as standing up for your rights? Thanks.

[Nidhi]

Try to relate this quote to ur situation, virji. Maybe it will solve a tiny bit of ur question (be aware that the response is given to a beginner). Hope u find it useful.

Part of an email convo about some models:

Virji:

JUST TRYING TO MAKE YOU THINK ABOUT THINGS A BIT DEEPER THAN THE AVERAGE JOE, ESPECIALLY WHEN THE RESULTANT EMOTION IS NEGATIVE EG OUTRAGE.  LET THAT BE YOUR JUDGE.  AFTER YOU HAVE READ ANYTINH ON RELIGION OR HEARD ANYTHING ABOUT ELIGION AND THEN APPLIED UR LOGIC TO A NEW SITUATION, IF YOU END UP IN A NEGATIVE STATE OF MIND..THEN IT TELLS U UR LOGIC WAS WRONG.

BECAUSE GOD IS LOVE AND TRUE WISDOM WILL LEAD YOUR MIND INTO THE HOUSE OF LOVE, EVEN FOR YOUR ENEMIES.  BANI SAYS KISS THE FEET OF THE ONES WHO BEAT YOU WITH FISTS....ULTIMATE LOVE AND COMPASSION.

SIKHI IS ABOUT REALISING TRUTH LOVE AND COMPASSION IN YOUR HEART. IT IS AN INNER JOURNEY.  ON THE INSIDE WE ARE TRYING TO BE PURE ENUGH FOR GOD THE HUSBAND TO COME AND RESIDE ON THE BED OF THE HEART.  THAT IS THE INNER JOURNEY.  GURBANI TALKS ONLY OF THE INNER JOURNEY.  ONLY YOU REALLY KNOW WHAT STATE OF MIND YOU ARE IN.  NO ONE ELSE REALLY KNOWS.  YOU MAY BE "NATURAL" ON TE OUTSIDE, NO MAKEUP, WEAR KESKI AND KHANDA SYMBOLS, SMILE SWEETLY, SPEAK GENTLY, BUT INSIDE BE FULL OF 5 THIEVES.    GURBANI REJECTS ANYONE AND EVERYONE WHO SAYS THAT EXTERNAL THINGS ARE ANY WAY TO JUDGE HOW CLOSE YOU ARE TO GOD.  INFACT GURBANI SAYS WE HAVE NO RIGHT TO JUDGE/CRITICISE/COMMENT ON ANY OTHER PERSON EXCEPT OURSELF...KIS NOO KAHEEAA NANKAA SABH KICH AAPAAY AAP...HOW CAN I PASS JUDGEMENT ON ANYONE, WHEN IT IS ALL GOD DOING IT ALL HIMSELF.

AND ALSO, BABA NANAK JI SAYS , HUM NAHEE CHANGAA BURA NAHEE KOEE"  I AM NOT GOOD AND NO ONE IS BAD.

SO BABA NANAK JI WOULD NOT CONDEMN THOSE MODELS FOR LOOKING HOW THEY DO, HE WAS NOT FOOLED/IMPRESSED BY LOOKS..WHETHER IT WAS SIMPLE LOOKING HOLYMEN WHO WERE BUTCHERS IN THEIR ACTIONS, OR A DISEASED LEPER WHO WAS PURE IN HIS MIND.

... which can not at all be seen in these models. These models do not

represent purity or simplicity,

YOU HAVE A BELIEF SYSTEM, WHICH YOU HAVE CHOSEN FOR YOURSELF OF YOUR OWN FREE WILL.  BUT YOU ARE FALLING INTO THE TRAP THAT ALL SIKH YOUTH FALL INTO, AND THT IS YOU ARE JUDGING OTHERS AGAINST IT.  YOU CANT JUSDGE ANYTHING ABOUT THOSE MODELS FROM THOSE PICTURES. SAME WAY YOU WOULDNT WANT PEOPLE TO LOOK AT A PICTURE OF A SIKH AND SAY "TERRORIST".  STEROTYPING, JUSDING AND CRITICISING --NEGATIVE QUALITIES OF THE MIND ... YOU HAVE TO CLEAR IT ALL OUT.  YOU HAVE TO SEE GOD IN EVERY HEART INCLUDING THOSE MODELS. YOU HAVE TO BECOME LOWEST OF THE LOW AND IN YOUR MIND SAY SORRY TO THOSE MODELS AND WASH THEIR FEET, BECAUSE YOU ARE CRITICISING SOMETHING THAT GOD MADE, AND HENCE ARE SAYING GOD YOU MADE A MISTAKE...HIS HUKAM RUNS

EVERYTHING, WE HAVE NO RIGHT TO COMPLAIN.  HE IS GOD THE KING, WE ARE ANTS AT HIS DOOR.  DONT EVEN COMPLAIN ABOUT THE WEATHER, DONT COMPLAIN ABOUT FOOD YOU DONT LIKE BEING SERVED TO YOU ...IT IS ALL NINDYA OF GOD'S CREATION.   

YOUR MIND IS NOT PURE WHILE IT IT DOESNT ACCEPT GODS CREATION

AND WHAT HE IS DOING.  HOW CAN HE EVER COME AND RESIDE IN YOUR HEART WHEN YOU DONT LOVE HIM IN EVERY HEART?

There's more to it, if u want it?

[Guest Lohgarh Singh]

wjkk wjkf

theres a differnce to protecting pride, than to dignity, there is a fine line between the two.

try and think about wen to act, and wich one u are defending, i know this is very hard to do, i speak from experience, n i always got the same answer "the bigfa man always walks away" this is a load of rubbish, designed by skools n parents to avoid truble.

[H-K-S]

Thank you to all for your replies :TH: ...by the way, bhaji, i'm a girl :doh:

[randip singh]

I was hoping that the sangat could clear up some confusion. Being proud of oneself, or having ego is not the Sikhi way of life. Putting down others or belittling them is wrong, right? But, what if the person deserves to be put down? For example, a criminal , theif, rapist, *greedy politician* etc. Could you bad mouth them and their actions? Is a Sikh also not supposed to let negative comments about them get to them? In other words, if someone talks negatively about you, should you let it get to you and avenge the comments, or should you remain neutral and not let the remarks get to you? If you remain neutral, isn't that sort of letting the person stomp all over you? Is there such a thing as standing up for your rights? Thanks.

100498[/snapback]

Hi Bhanji,

There is a big difference between being egotistical and have self esteem. Someone of high self esteem shine's out in the crowd and has no need to make idle boasts or feed his/her ego by telling others what great deeds they have done or what background they are from.

Remeber our 10th Master gave us symbols of Royalty to raise our self esteem.............prioir to that we were just the common peasantry..........he told us that it was our deeds and actions that made us great........NOt our backgrounds........

If you are going to criticise someone then at least have a reason behind why you are doing it..........and above all try to understand the other persons actions and motivations for their actions........