7 reasons not to mess with a child

[Mehtab Singh]

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher

said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because

even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The

little

girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the

teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was

physically impossible.

The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah". The

teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"

The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".

===================================================

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children

while they

were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each

child's work.

As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she

asked what

the

drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."

The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks

like."

Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl

replied,

"They will in a minute."

======================================================

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the

dishes

at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had

several

strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette

head. She looked

at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs

white,

Mom?"

Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong

and make

me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." The little girl

thought

about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come

ALL of

grandma's hairs are white?"

=======================================================

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was

trying to

persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think

how

nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say,

'There's

Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.' A

small

voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher,

She's

dead."

=========================================================

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood.

Trying to

make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my

head, the

blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the

face.."

"Yes," the class said. "Then why is it that while I am standing

upright in

the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A

little

fellow

shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."

=======================================================

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic

elementary

school

for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.

The nun

made

a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is

watching."

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table

was a

large pile of chocolate chipcookies. A child had written a note,

"Take all you want. God is watching the apples.

[gupt_paapi]

[kaur03]

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher

said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because

even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The

little

girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the

teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was

physically impossible.

The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah". The

teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"

The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".