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Marital Advice


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I'm relatively new to this forum but it's taken me some time to ask this question but here goes -

I'm English and my girlfriend is sikh, she's 19 and wants to get married even though I'm only 24 ! We've been going out for a year!

But her parents, I imagine are against this stuff!! Her parents have already found a guy for her and I asked her what he's like and she called him a pimp !!

I found that strange as he's got a huge turban and a long square beard and wotnot ? She's not one for ghetto politics, but there you go !

Anyway as far as I know he's unemployed, but he's the last thing she's worried about - I was wandering whats the best solution to the problem if anyone has any advise - thanks. :lol:

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What do her parents have to do with this ? I think a person should have the freedom to choose thier partner, and just because I am white is that a problem ?

Apparently the other chap seems to say one thing do something else !!

As for our kids, I wouldn't force religion on them, they would be free to choose as I feel you can't be born into faiths or other rubbish. Your religion doesn't have anything to do with helping people, it seems more to be about a boys club really d_oh.gif

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No, our religion isn't a boys club. If men are ever dominent in Sikh families it's only because of the culture. Sikhi promotes equality between men and women.

If her family is more of the indian-ish type of family then your being white will be a problem. I know that's not fair, but usually that's just how it is. BUT if her familly is a familly with good Sikh principles then hopefully your race won't be a problem, because in Sikhi one's race is not important.

If you really want to marry this girl then the best chance you have with her parents is to become Sikh. Maybe your not ready for that - but if you are willing to do this I'm sure the sangat would be more than willing to h elp you out. I can provide you with some weblinks that provide information. You can also buy yourslef a gutka and start reading the translations. Sikhi is such a simple, logical, beautiful religion, and if you dedicated yourself to this faith you would not regret it.

However, if you decide not to become Sikh for whatever reason, I think it's in everyone's best interest if you start thinking about the consequences of marrying this girl. I know you believe that parents should not come in the way of 'true love' or whatever you wanna call it, but in indian famillies parents have a HUGE role of deciding who the children marry. It's just the way it is, and try to remember that the parents do it out of love. If you decide to marry her and the parents are not okay with it, it will cause alot of problems.

Try to let her parents get to know you. They need to be able trust you and believe your a good person for your daughter.

If they aren't okay with it, maybe friendship is your only option.

And if you love her too much than Sikhi is your other option.

Well, there's my advice, but whatever you decide is up to you.

Good luck! :lol:

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What do her parents have to do with this ? I think a person should have the freedom to choose thier partner, and  just because I am white is that a problem ?

Apparently the other chap seems to say one thing do something else !!

As for our kids, I wouldn't force religion on them, they would be free to choose as I feel you can't be born into faiths or other rubbish. Your religion doesn't have anything to do with helping people, it seems more to be about a boys club really  d_oh.gif

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Firstly you said her parents found a guy for her who is unemployed, to which i said, that its quite unbelievable that parents would find an unemployed guy for their daughter. I dont have a problem with indviduals choosing to marry who they want regardless of colour.

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If you really want to marry this girl then the best chance you have with her parents is to become Sikh

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No, I won't.

You should be accepted on WHO you are and not WHAT you are.

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I understand that.

I just think that it'll be hard for the parents to understand it.

Well, maybe becoming a Sikh is jumping a bit too far too quickly, especially if you already belong to a certain faith. But it would still be good for you to get to know more about your girlfriend's culture and background, both for your chances with her parents and for your relationship.

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