Accepting The Death Of Loved Ones

[sikhlionz]

Here's an article written by someone i know who gave me permission to post this. It is on the passing away of their grandmum:

Nana ji & Nani ji- my inspiration

Nana ji and Nani ji always lived a life that served as a shining example of sikhi. Akaal Purakh ji has bestowed me with a lot of great sangat & Nani ji had such a warm, kind open-heart that would put anyone at ease in moments. They took amrit together before marrying and kept very strong rehat for 65 years since. They both did a lot of sewa in the local community. Aged over 80; she always jested of her mortality to try to prevent us from getting too attached while loving her. They had control over 5 vices and had a very selfless love for each other. A few months back Nani ji was diagnosed with gall bladder cancer which was advancing quickly. The doctors wanted her to stay in hospital- she agreed providing she wouldn’t be separated from her 5 kakaars. Nana ji is chardhi kalaa and didn’t shed a tear saying that we should understand pain and pleasure are one and the same. Everyday he sat at her bedside reciting the Nitnem and Sukhmani Sahib prayers from memory to her. He watched as the cancer spread from her gall bladder to her vital organs like the liver. We watched him look at her in total acceptance of God’s Will & over the weeks she got more ill. There was a 24/7 vigil of relatives and friends at her bedside and she stopped eating as the cancer was in her gall bladder. Then she stopped drinking and soon her kidneys failed. She retained all liquid from the IV drip and got more and more ill. Nana ji told us all sakhia of how everyone, from Bhai Khanaiya to Ravan ALL had to leave their mortal coil. We told him Nani ji was getting weaker and many cried and asked him why he wasn’t. Nana ji recited the lavaan and other Gurbani explaining their meaning and that despite being married for over 65 years and having a strong love for each other they always remembered they were mortal and as His creation it would be better attaching themselves to Waheguru. He explained we should always happily and humbily surrender to the sweetest Will of the Lord and she always remembered death long, long before she was told she had cancer as she treated each day she was given by Waheguru as a gift to repeat His Name. She was at peace and detached from this world and everything in it. She peacefully completed the remaining God-given number of breaths, her soul began losing attachment to her body and she departed in the sangat of all her loved ones at amritwela listening to Mool Mantar prayer. After tending to formalities, Nana ji then led the recitation of morning prayers.

Here are some shabads that I know she’d like and are a reminder of what we are all here for:

This Shabad is by Bhagat Kabeer Ji in Raag Gauree on Pannaa 325

gauVI kbIr jI ]

gourree kabeer jee ||

Gauree, Kabeer Jee:

Avr mUey ikAw sogu krIjY ]

avar mooeae kiaa sog kareejai ||

Why do you cry and mourn, when another person dies?

qau kIjY jau Awpn jIjY ]1]

tho keejai jo aapan jeejai ||1||

Do so only if you yourself are to live. ||1||

mY n mrau mirbo sMswrw ]

mai n maro maribo sa(n)saaraa ||

I shall not die as the rest of the world dies,

Ab moih imilE hY jIAwvnhwrw ]1] rhwau ]

ab mohi miliou hai jeeaavanehaaraa ||1|| rehaao ||

for now I have met the life-giving Lord. ||1||Pause||

ieAw dyhI prml mhkMdw ]

eiaa dhaehee paramal mehaka(n)dhaa ||

People anoint their bodies with fragrant oils,

qw suK ibsry prmwnµdw ]2]

thaa sukh bisarae paramaana(n)dhaa ||2||

and in that pleasure, they forget the supreme bliss. ||2||

kUAtw eyku pMc pinhwrI ]

kooattaa eaek pa(n)ch panihaaree ||

There is one well, and five water-carriers.

tUtI lwju BrY miq hwrI ]3]

ttoottee laaj bharai math haaree ||3||

Even though the rope is broken, the fools continue trying to draw water. ||3||

khu kbIr iek buiD bIcwrI ]

kahu kabeer eik budhh beechaaree ||

Says Kabeer, through contemplation, I have obtained this one understanding.

nw Ehu kUAtw nw pinhwrI ]4]12]

naa ouhu kooattaa naa panihaaree ||4||12||

There is no well, and no water-carrier. ||4||12||

This Shabad is by Bhagat Kabeer Ji in Raag Gauree on Pannaa 327

gauVI kbIr jI ]

gourree kabeer jee ||

Gauree, Kabeer Jee:

ipMif mUAY jIau ikh Gir jwqw ]

pi(n)dd mooai jeeo kih ghar jaathaa ||

When the body dies, where does the soul go?

sbid AqIiq Anwhid rwqw ]

sabadh atheeth anaahadh raathaa ||

It is absorbed into the untouched, unstruck melody of the Word of the Shabad.

ijin rwmu jwinAw iqnih pCwinAw ]

jin raam jaaniaa thinehi pashhaaniaa ||

Only one who knows the Lord realizes Him.

ijau gUMgy swkr mnu mwinAw ]1]

jio goo(n)gae saakar man maaniaa ||1||

The mind is satisfied and satiated, like the mute who eats the sugar candy and just smiles, without speaking. ||1||

AYsw igAwnu kQY bnvwrI ]

aisaa giaan kathhai banavaaree ||

Such is the spiritual wisdom which the Lord has imparted.

mn ry pvn idRV suKmn nwrI ]1] rhwau ]

man rae pavan dhrirr sukhaman naaree ||1|| rehaao ||

O mind, hold your breath steady within the central channel of the Sushmanaa. ||1||Pause||

so guru krhu ij bhuir n krnw ]

so gur karahu j bahur n karanaa ||

Adopt such a Guru, that you shall not have to adopt another again.

so pdu rvhu ij bhuir n rvnw ]

so padh ravahu j bahur n ravanaa ||

Dwell in such a state, that you shall never have to dwell in any other.

so iDAwnu Drhu ij bhuir n Drnw ]

so dhhiaan dhharahu j bahur n dhharanaa ||

Embrace such a meditation, that you shall never have to embrace any other.

AYsy mrhu ij bhuir n mrnw ]2]

aisae marahu j bahur n maranaa ||2||

Die in such a way, that you shall never have to die again. ||2||

aultI gMgw jmun imlwvau ]

oulattee ga(n)gaa jamun milaavo ||

Turn your breath away from the left channel, and away from the right channel, and unite them in the central channel of the Sushmanaa.

ibnu jl sMgm mn mih n@wvau ]

bin jal sa(n)gam man mehi nhaavo ||

At their confluence within your mind, take your bath there without water.

locw smsir iehu ibauhwrw ]

lochaa samasar eihu biouhaaraa ||

To look upon all with an impartial eye - let this be your daily occupation.

qqu bIcwir ikAw Avir bIcwrw ]3]

thath beechaar kiaa avar beechaaraa ||3||

Contemplate this essence of reality - what else is there to contemplate? ||3||

Apu qyju bwie ipRQmI Awkwsw ]

ap thaej baae prithhamee aakaasaa ||

Water, fire, wind, earth and ether

AYsI rhq rhau hir pwsw ]

aisee rehath reho har paasaa ||

adopt such a way of life and you shall be close to the Lord.

khY kbIr inrMjn iDAwvau ]

kehai kabeer nira(n)jan dhhiaavo ||

Says Kabeer, meditate on the Immaculate Lord.

iqqu Gir jwau ij bhuir n Awvau ]4]18]

thith ghar jaao j bahur n aavo ||4||18||

Go to that home, which you shall never have to leave. ||4||18||

This Shabad is by Guru Amar Daas Ji in Raag Aasaa on Pannaa 362

Awsw mhlw 3 ]

aasaa mehalaa 3 ||

Aasaa, Third Mehl:

mnmuK mrih mir mrxu ivgwVih ]

manamukh marehi mar maran vigaarrehi ||

The self-willed manmukhs are dying; they are wasting away in death.

dUjY Bwie Awqm sMGwrih ]

dhoojai bhaae aatham sa(n)ghaarehi ||

In the love of duality, they murder their own souls.

myrw myrw kir kir ivgUqw ]

maeraa maeraa kar kar vigoothaa ||

Crying out, ""Mine, mine!"", they are ruined.

Awqmu n cIn@Y BrmY ivic sUqw ]1]

aatham n cheenhai bharamai vich soothaa ||1||

They do not remember their souls; they are asleep in superstition. ||1||

mru muieAw sbdy mir jwie ]

mar mueiaa sabadhae mar jaae ||

He alone dies a real death, who dies in the Word of the Shabad.

ausqiq inMdw guir sm jwxweI iesu jug mih lwhw hir jip lY jwie ]1] rhwau ]

ousathath ni(n)dhaa gur sam jaanaaee eis jug mehi laahaa har jap lai jaae ||1|| rehaao ||

The Guru has inspired me to realize, that praise and slander are one and the same; in this world, the profit is obtained by chanting the Name of the Lord. ||1||Pause||

nwm ivhUx grB gil jwie ]

naam vihoon garabh gal jaae ||

Those who lack the Naam, the Name of the Lord, are dissolved within the womb.

ibrQw jnmu dUjY loBwie ]

birathhaa janam dhoojai lobhaae ||

Useless is the birth of those who are lured by duality.

nwm ibhUxI duiK jlY sbweI ]

naam bihoonee dhukh jalai sabaaee ||

Without the Naam, all are burning in pain.

siqguir pUrY bUJ buJweI ]2]

sathigur poorai boojh bujhaaee ||2||

The Perfect True Guru has given me this understanding. ||2||

mnu cMclu bhu cotw Kwie ]

man cha(n)chal bahu chottaa khaae ||

The fickle mind is struck down so many times.

eyQhu CuVikAw Taur n pwie ]

eaethhahu shhurrakiaa t(h)our n paae ||

Having lost this opportunity, no place of rest shall be found.

grB join ivstw kw vwsu ]

garabh jon visattaa kaa vaas ||

Cast into the womb of reincarnation, the mortal lives in manure;

iqqu Gir mnmuKu kry invwsu ]3]

thith ghar manamukh karae nivaas ||3||

in such a home, the self-willed manmukh takes up residence. ||3||

Apuny siqgur kau sdw bil jweI ]

apunae sathigur ko sadhaa bal jaaee ||

I am forever a sacrifice to my True Guru;

gurmuiK joqI joiq imlweI ]

guramukh jothee joth milaaee ||

the light of the Gurmukh blends with the Divine Light of the Lord.

inrml bwxI inj Gir vwsw ]

niramal baanee nij ghar vaasaa ||

Through the Immaculate Bani of the Word, the mortal dwells within the home of his own inner self.

nwnk haumY mwry sdw audwsw ]4]6]45]

naanak houmai maarae sadhaa oudhaasaa ||4||6||45||

O Nanak, he conquers his ego, and remains forever detached. ||4||6||45||

Waheguruuuu

[proud_to_be_singhni]

vaaaaheeguroo.

[Dukh Sukh]

speechless..

:mellow:

[Trust1]

waheguru ji...

amazing article, changes the way you think about death.

thankyou for posting it

[gupt_paapi]

Wish we all could be like that! WAHEGURUU

[amankaur]

That was a reali nice article, well deep that was, i actuali read it all and understood it god i pray to Waheguru Ji that some day i to can be like that.

[mann_kaum_layee_qurbaan]

[singhni]

pauVI ]

pourree

Pauree:

ieh nIswxI swD kI ijsu Bytq qrIAY ]

eih neesaanee saadh kee jis bhaettuth thureeai

This is the distinguishing sign of the Holy Saint, that by meeting with him, one is saved.

jmkMkru nyiV n AwveI iPir bhuiV n mrIAY ]

jumukunkur naerr n aavee fir buhurr n mureeai

The Messenger of Death does not come near him; he never has to die again.

Bv swgru sMswru ibKu so pwir auqrIAY ]

bhuv saagur sunsaar bikh so paar outhureeai

He crosses over the terrifying, poisonous world-ocean.

hir gux guMPhu min mwl hir sB mlu prhrIAY ]

har gun gunfuhu man maal har subh mul purehureeai

So weave the garland of the Lord's Glorious Praises into your mind, and all your filth shall be washed away.

nwnk pRIqm imil rhy pwrbRhm nrhrIAY ]11]

naanuk preethum mil rehae paarubrehum nurehureeai

Nanak remains blended with his Beloved, the Supreme Lord God. ||11||