Poem - Guru Nanak

[Paneet]

wow it's been a long time since i've posted

anyways, just wanted to share this poem i wrote

still needs alot of work, i could use some feedback :lol: the ending stinks, btw, any ideas on how to improve it?

anyways, here it is:

Once, long, long ago

in a land not far away;

a district in Pakistan,

a child was born one day.

From the moment he arrived,

with a smile on his face,

people knew he was ^divine^,

a gift by God's good grace.

His parents, proud as peacocks,

told their newborn son:

"We shall name you Nanak,

for you are a blessed one."

As the boy grew older,

he grew popular quite fast.

He made a many friends,

of many creeds and castes.

He played as any child would,

but he also did something strange:

he sat and thought, good gracious Lord!

and thought and thought and thought!

He thought of God and life and death,

he wondered at creation.

He contemplated stars and skies,

he turned answers into questions.

He thought and pondered and pondered and thought,

till his teacher could stand it no more.

"This boy is too smart for me," he said,

and walked

right out

the door.

At first his parents were pleased with their son,

but soon they became disheartened,

For thought their boy was very wise,

his work habits were much less efficient.

"Nanak," his father told him one day,

"You must start learning to work.

Take there coins and travel to town,

and bring back double it's worth."

So off Nanak went, to find a good bargain,

Singing God's name as he went,

when he came across a few hungry Sadhus...

guess where his money was spent?

"I made a true bargain," Nanak explained,

a few days when he got back.

"I spent every last penny to feed them," he smiled.

His father gave him a slap.

Soon Nanak grew, got married, had kids,

even got a job as a shopkeeper.

The people all loved him for his fairness and grace,

but Nanak himself felt unsettled.

For his true passion lied

deep in the heart of his soul,

what he desired more then anything

was Waheguru, the True Lord

Then one special day, something happened, it did

Nanak had a revelation from the Lord!

He would go out and travel, journey there and here

spreading God's Name to the world!

And Nanak did just that!

Travelling to lands far and wide

singing and praising the wonders of God,

with his good friend Mardana at his side.

And thus began the journey of a thousand miles

and 400 years give or take,

that spawned a new faith of fairness and love,

All spun by Guru Nanak,

the gift from above.

bhul chuk maaf

[SATORi]

this is good, although i dont know much about poems :lol:.....

[mann_kaum_layee_qurbaan]

excellent!