Confused Sikh. About To Cut Hair

[wjkk wjkf]

I understand how you feel (i'm not just saying that - I REALY do) but if you say you are keeping yourself happy...is it because of how you are treated wearing Dastaar or because you just don't feel you look good? At hte end of the day its your own choice but think REAL hard before you make this decision jio...Good Luck

P.S it seems like you've already made your decision!

Bhul Chuk Maaf Ji

[singh2k]

Hey bro,

Thanks for the honesty in your post. There's always a learning and maturing for those who read when someone's being so honest.

Before addressing anything else, what do you mean by "just end everything, before it's too late". Answer here if you're OK with that. If not PM me. Where exactly in America are you?

What I mean by Ending everything is, just cut my hair and get on with life. I live in Dallas, TX, just recently moved here from New York. A major change in society.

Wjkk Wjkf, Looks, the way people treat me, and more confidence. I know, that might sound weak, but when one belives in itself, anything can happen.

I haven't made my decision yet. I'm going to take my time because I'm not going to throw away 18 years of having a turban in a day.

Thanks for the support.

[singh-khalsa]

Singh2k veer these things are common 4 me but does this means i have cut my hair just to get these stupid ppl around me. i again request u by folding my hands in front of u. plz ignore these stupids and have a life o a pure gursikh. veer ji if someone say u anything just ignore them by saying urself that some dogs are barking. plz plz plz veer ji never distroy ur sikhi saroop. and ya u guys are having rainsabahi this week...right. go there and do ardas to waheguru ji. i was planing to come but now i m not free 4 like 3 weeks so i m not able to make it. but plz accept my request.

be in chardi kala singh jio

waheguru tuhaday aang sang rahay.

[mann_kaum_layee_qurbaan]

when your clean shaven, sikhs won't respect you, goreh will still call you gandhi, 7-11, dothead, arab etc. You lose respect from all sides. When you keep kesh, at least your own community respects you.

I was a mona in high school. It was hell. People called me gandhi, arab, pakistani, dothead, the works. I would say yo I'm a sikh..they be like what's that, i would give them the whole speech about 5ks etc, and they would be like, where's your turban?

Now I wear a turban to work...I am an engineer at a mjor american corp and the front security is a desi gujrati guy and he saw me one day coming in and said good morning sardar ji. I am in no way worthy of being called a saradr because I am not amritdhari but man, when I heard that I thought of the sardar of all sardars, sri guru gobind singh ji. I said to myself, moorakh mana, sardar ta guru sahib ah.

anyways, good luck bro. many people yearn for sikhi, some leave it. Some live it and revel in it, some are born into it and never realize its value. Some discover it by accident, some earn it. It's all God's play. You gotta read gurbaani to get the answers.

good luck.

[singh2k]

Yeah no doubt. I know people will still make fun of me one way or another.

Well you see, most people aren't understanding what I'm trying to say, instead they are just begging me to not cut my hair. I know how you feel about me taking this decision but you guys don't understand my situation.

Read this guy's argument, even tho he might be totally wrong, but just listen to what this guy has to say, he cut his hair at the age of 23.

http://www.sikhnet.com/Sikhnet/discussion....33;OpenDocument

People tell me that life is easier after your hard times, after you turn 18 and go to a University... I don't think so. You won't belive how many sardars I know of that cut their hair, over the age of 20. Sadars that go to Yale, St. Johns and many more Universities.

My point is, I respect the religion, but just don't like the fact that a turban is neccessary. I know what I've said must hurt alot of people, I have absolutely no intentions of hurting anyone, but that is whats going through out my mind.

The part that I regret the most is, when some day (God forbid its not soon), when I'm in the hospital, minutes away from dying I would say to myself " All those times I was scared of doing something, all those oppurtunities that I have missed, all those good times I just let pass by are over, theres NO WAY I can go back and do all those things once again".

I feel that with a hair cut, I would gain much more confidence. I might be wrong, or right.

What if I cut my hair and grow it back after I get more mature about my life? They say "you only live once, and you're only 18 once! Just have the time of your life"

What are your opinions on that? Growing your hair back after you get married or something. I know of many kids who cut their hair and have regrown it.

[KFI]

Ok listen.

If you want to cut your hair, u have my permission. I am not going to beg you not to cut it, or tell u not to. Because It Is Your Life.

Remember a few things thought.

After cutting your hair, don't say you are a sikh. You said You don't feel keeping hair is necessary, etc, Ok, Cut hair, but remember not to refer or tell others you are a sikh, because without Kesh you are not a sikh.

They say "you only live once, and you're only 18 once! Just have the time of your life"

That makes me think all you care about is enjoyment, etc and that very line sounds like a party-line, like go sleep with as much girls as possible ur only 18 once etc.

And the regrowing hair part, they don't do it the way you are refering to htem as, they get religious and gain values and maharaj does kirpa on them, they dont plan it like you.

Also, There are so many mone, You said it's just identity, and if u have waheguru in ur heart then its ok apperence dont matter.

But think about this, you want to do it cause apperence DOES matter to you... you see the irony in that? You said it dont matter, but it does matter to you because you want to get rid of it, if it mattered u would keep ur beard and kesh.

About being treated bad in life. I have kesh, we are in US, UK, CANADA and singhs all over deal with beadbi, discrimination, etc but that's apart of life. Do you think white ppl dont face discrimination? Blacks and indians treat white ppl exactly how whites treat blacks/indians with disrespect and show racism, It's kind of natural to many.

------------

Growing your hair after you marry ,etc....

The example is infront of you, three young chardi kala gursikhs merging with god before they got married. Two were under 20 (17,15 yrs of age) while one was 21. You are 18, They died younger than you, What makes u think you will live till the day you get married?

If you are doing this in order to get girls, or u think girls dont like u cause u have beard, etc, well, do you think a girl likes someone who has to lose his identity just for a girl to like him? That's kinda desperate. You are better off wiating for a girl who respects ur thoughts as a singh and loves your sikhi saroop.

You talk about jobs bro, Look at AKAL SECURITY (IN USA) it is one of the biggest, and who runs it ? Sikhs. The sikh wanted to be a police officer, but got discriminated against, etc and he made his own company, and now military personnel work under HIM. they do security at military bases, etc.

About confidence after haircut...

-----

You might gain confidnece, but once you regain your sense you will realize something. You are mona, how does it feel to blend into everyone? Who are you? Sikh? Muslim? Hindu?

You get girls now?

Are you happy?

One of my friends, who just kept his hair, he is 18 and goes to college and i've seen him go through a lot, he was mona all his life and at age 18 he kept his hair. Guru ji did kirpa on him and kirpa on me, as i was seeing this event as i knew him and was a good friend. Lots of people even today tell him you looked better mona, at work, another person told him jokingly "you're ugly now man no girls talk to you u got beard and a turban now haha". His family didnt want him to keep his hair, but i seen it in him, he loves facing discrimination, he loves to see people disrespect him, because he wishes to do something, he wants to help sikhs grow and become public and everything, so whenehver he gets a opportunity, he tries his best to fix it and he does it for sikhs not himself

Does your dad have a turban too?

Sant Jarnail singh ji said, IF a son doesn't look like his father, people call him bad names. Do you know what that means? I'l explain, that means the mother is sleeping around, because her son is different from his own father. Means, the mother is sleeping with monas, thats why son is mona.

---

You are young, it's natural to think u want to be like others, you want to fit in, you dont want stares, you dont wanna stick out, but bro, what are you really inside?

You said lots of sikh are cutting hair, even in their 20s, Bro you realize how sikhi is going down? You said you have respect for our religion, what respect do you have if you say you want to cut ur hair, you are making sikhi go down, something you respect? I don't think so.

Again, I never said dont cut your hair, because if u want to , u will do it, dass words wont affect anyoen i dont have powers

But do not forget shaheeds such as Bhai Taru singh who got his head cut off but did not cut his hair, Shaheeds like bhai mati das, bhai sati das, guru ji got shaheed but did not convert.

This can also be bad sangat, if u hang around with all mone, then u will want to be like them and fit in, but u wont be recgonized u will lose ur name also. Sikhs will disrespect you, even others will..

U know, when i hear "someone cut their hair at my school"

I dont say "oh ok" EVERYONE says "He must be an <banned word filter activated>!"

I work with a few black people, and they question me about sikhi, and they ask me "How come that sikh guy dont have hair?" I say, "Cause he ain't sikh."

You know? They even say Oh he does sin. im not joking or making this up either. she's catholic.

You know why she says that because ITs apart of OUR religion.

If it was apart of her religion to wear a turban, she will do it. If i ask her, why dont thta guy NOT go church every sunday she will say cause he not religious he has no respect.

Same thing here.

If you want to cut ur hair, then please go ahead, but also remember you are leaving the panth, your people, sikhi.

IF A SOMEONE IS GUILTY OR INNOCENT, HE/SHE STILL NEEDS A LAWYER.

JUST LIKE THAT IF YOU SAY " I HAVE GOOD INTENTIONS, IM NOT BAD I HAVE WAHEGURU IN MY HEART" NO!..... YOU STILL NEED SIKHI SAROOP JUST LIKE THAT LAWYER.

Just remember, You are 18. not 10. Guru ji is a father, a father doesn't care about mistakes 1 yr old kids makes like pissing on floor or drinking out of a toilet, but when that same kid is 12 and knows about not to drink out of a toilet, and not to piss on the floor, and he still does it, does the father sit there and look at him and hug him? No bro, he gets mad.

I'm not saying, GURU JI WIL BE <Edited> AT U, I 'm sayin, that, u are 18, u are aware, u have sikhi knowledge. Like that father, he will punish his child, because the child was aware. if he asks the child "are u allowed to piss on floor?" he will say no, same way, if u know whats right and wrong, why choose wrong/ The knowldge u have, if ur mona nad u say that to someone, ppl will say, ok u know this much why dont u have hair? My firend i was talking about, even it old him to keep his hair he knew so much about sikhi but i told him, u know a lot more than any mona i know why u dont have ur hair bro?.. u know? ull be same like him, and then u wont feel like regrowing, ull be used to being mona ,etc so how is ur plan even working to keep it later in life? Go through a few more years, and u will be happy that u didnt cut it and that u made a good decision.

Guru ji respects and loves all, but like that father who teaches kids whats right and wahts wrong at a young age, that is kirpa, and we have it from guru ji, guru ji made is what we are now, but he gave us conscience also, we have choices , guru ji is so great, he made us, but he makes his creation make decisions. Otherwise, we will be robots. He made us, but he allowed us to Make more, and reproduce, and think, kill others, save others. A lot is in our hands.

You came to this world with hair, it's a natural given thing....

SCIENTISTS STILL DONT KNOW WHAT DREAMS ARE

can you believe that with so much techonlogy, and research in psychology no one has truly found why they occur etc?

IF YOU WENT TO SPACE IN A SPACE SUIT, and you FOUND SOMETHING ON IT THAT U THOUGHT HAD NO PURPOSE WILLL YOU REMOVE IT AND THROW IT OUTSIDE IN SPACE WHILE UR FLOATING?

JUST LIKE THAT, THE KES, THE HAIR THE BEARD, THIS SPACE SUIT GURU JI HAS GIVEN U IN KALJUG, U want to remove parts and throw them?

is this really safe? who knows.

Do whatever you want, long reply, thanks a lot if u read all of it , but its all doown to our chocie, cut, or keep.

Vaheguru ji ka khalsa, Vaheguru ji ke fateh.

[wjkk wjkf]

I read all of it and second it...

[Atmo.Sangeet]

Ok listen.

If you want to cut your hair, u have my permission. I am not going to beg you not to cut it, or tell u not to. Because It Is Your Life.

Remember a few things thought.

After cutting your hair, don't say you are a sikh. You said You don't feel keeping hair is necessary, etc, Ok, Cut hair, but remember not to refer or tell others you are a sikh, because without Kesh you are not a sikh.

They say "you only live once, and you're only 18 once! Just have the time of your life"

That makes me think all you care about is enjoyment, etc and that very line sounds like a party-line, like go sleep with as much girls as possible ur only 18 once etc.

And the regrowing hair part, they don't do it the way you are refering to htem as, they get religious and gain values and maharaj does kirpa on them, they dont plan it like you.

Also, There are so many mone, You said it's just identity, and if u have waheguru in ur heart then its ok apperence dont matter.

But think about this, you want to do it cause apperence DOES matter to you... you see the irony in that? You said it dont matter, but it does matter to you because you want to get rid of it, if it mattered u would keep ur beard and kesh.

About being treated bad in life. I have kesh, we are in US, UK, CANADA and singhs all over deal with beadbi, discrimination, etc but that's apart of life. Do you think white ppl dont face discrimination? Blacks and indians treat white ppl exactly how whites treat blacks/indians with disrespect and show racism, It's kind of natural to many.

------------

Growing your hair after you marry ,etc....

The example is infront of you, three young chardi kala gursikhs merging with god before they got married. Two were under 20 (17,15 yrs of age) while one was 21. You are 18, They died younger than you, What makes u think you will live till the day you get married?

If you are doing this in order to get girls, or u think girls dont like u cause u have beard, etc, well, do you think a girl likes someone who has to lose his identity just for a girl to like him? That's kinda desperate. You are better off wiating for a girl who respects ur thoughts as a singh and loves your sikhi saroop.

You talk about jobs bro, Look at AKAL SECURITY (IN USA) it is one of the biggest, and who runs it ? Sikhs. The sikh wanted to be a police officer, but got discriminated against, etc and he made his own company, and now military personnel work under HIM. they do security at military bases, etc.

About confidence after haircut...

-----

You might gain confidnece, but once you regain your sense you will realize something. You are mona, how does it feel to blend into everyone? Who are you? Sikh? Muslim? Hindu?

You get girls now?

Are you happy?

One of my friends, who just kept his hair, he is 18 and goes to college and i've seen him go through a lot, he was mona all his life and at age 18 he kept his hair. Guru ji did kirpa on him and kirpa on me, as i was seeing this event as i knew him and was a good friend. Lots of people even today tell him you looked better mona, at work, another person told him jokingly "you're ugly now man no girls talk to you u got beard and a turban now haha". His family didnt want him to keep his hair, but i seen it in him, he loves facing discrimination, he loves to see people disrespect him, because he wishes to do something, he wants to help sikhs grow and become public and everything, so whenehver he gets a opportunity, he tries his best to fix it and he does it for sikhs not himself

Does your dad have a turban too?

Sant Jarnail singh ji said, IF a son doesn't look like his father, people call him bad names. Do you know what that means? I'l explain, that means the mother is sleeping around, because her son is different from his own father. Means, the mother is sleeping with monas, thats why son is mona.

---

You are young, it's natural to think u want to be like others, you want to fit in, you dont want stares, you dont wanna stick out, but bro, what are you really inside?

You said lots of sikh are cutting hair, even in their 20s, Bro you realize how sikhi is going down? You said you have respect for our religion, what respect do you have if you say you want to cut ur hair, you are making sikhi go down, something you respect? I don't think so.

Again, I never said dont cut your hair, because if u want to , u will do it, dass words wont affect anyoen i dont have powers

But do not forget shaheeds such as Bhai Taru singh who got his head cut off but did not cut his hair, Shaheeds like bhai mati das, bhai sati das, guru ji got shaheed but did not convert.

This can also be bad sangat, if u hang around with all mone, then u will want to be like them and fit in, but u wont be recgonized u will lose ur name also. Sikhs will disrespect you, even others will..

U know, when i hear "someone cut their hair at my school"

I dont say "oh ok" EVERYONE says "He must be an <banned word filter activated>!"

I work with a few black people, and they question me about sikhi, and they ask me "How come that sikh guy dont have hair?" I say, "Cause he ain't sikh."

You know? They even say Oh he does sin. im not joking or making this up either. she's catholic.

You know why she says that because ITs apart of OUR religion.

If it was apart of her religion to wear a turban, she will do it. If i ask her, why dont thta guy NOT go church every sunday she will say cause he not religious he has no respect.

Same thing here.

If you want to cut ur hair, then please go ahead, but also remember you are leaving the panth, your people, sikhi.

IF A SOMEONE IS GUILTY OR INNOCENT, HE/SHE STILL NEEDS A LAWYER.

JUST LIKE THAT IF YOU SAY " I HAVE GOOD INTENTIONS, IM NOT BAD I HAVE WAHEGURU IN MY HEART" NO!..... YOU STILL NEED SIKHI SAROOP JUST LIKE THAT LAWYER.

Just remember, You are 18. not 10. Guru ji is a father, a father doesn't care about mistakes 1 yr old kids makes like pissing on floor or drinking out of a toilet, but when that same kid is 12 and knows about not to drink out of a toilet, and not to piss on the floor, and he still does it, does the father sit there and look at him and hug him? No bro, he gets mad.

I'm not saying, GURU JI WIL BE <Edited> AT U, I 'm sayin, that, u are 18, u are aware, u have sikhi knowledge. Like that father, he will punish his child, because the child was aware. if he asks the child "are u allowed to piss on floor?" he will say no, same way, if u know whats right and wrong, why choose wrong/ The knowldge u have, if ur mona nad u say that to someone, ppl will say, ok u know this much why dont u have hair? My firend i was talking about, even it old him to keep his hair he knew so much about sikhi but i told him, u know a lot more than any mona i know why u dont have ur hair bro?.. u know? ull be same like him, and then u wont feel like regrowing, ull be used to being mona ,etc so how is ur plan even working to keep it later in life? Go through a few more years, and u will be happy that u didnt cut it and that u made a good decision.

Guru ji respects and loves all, but like that father who teaches kids whats right and wahts wrong at a young age, that is kirpa, and we have it from guru ji, guru ji made is what we are now, but he gave us conscience also, we have choices , guru ji is so great, he made us, but he makes his creation make decisions. Otherwise, we will be robots. He made us, but he allowed us to Make more, and reproduce, and think, kill others, save others. A lot is in our hands.

You came to this world with hair, it's a natural given thing....

SCIENTISTS STILL DONT KNOW WHAT DREAMS ARE

can you believe that with so much techonlogy, and research in psychology no one has truly found why they occur etc?

IF YOU WENT TO SPACE IN A SPACE SUIT, and you FOUND SOMETHING ON IT THAT U THOUGHT HAD NO PURPOSE WILLL YOU REMOVE IT AND THROW IT OUTSIDE IN SPACE WHILE UR FLOATING?

JUST LIKE THAT, THE KES, THE HAIR THE BEARD, THIS SPACE SUIT GURU JI HAS GIVEN U IN KALJUG, U want to remove parts and throw them?

is this really safe? who knows.

Do whatever you want, long reply, thanks a lot if u read all of it , but its all doown to our chocie, cut, or keep.

Vaheguru ji ka khalsa, Vaheguru ji ke fateh.

Bro i respect ur views and liked it as well.

Well just to let ya know, i also cut my hair on the 14th jan 2006 when i was around 23. and reason was to get rid of the undue hassel i had to thru everymorning before goin to office. or work.. but i wud like to point out that it did not make me less of a sikh..i know that offical i aint no more a sikh..but i deeply and firmly believe that ur cutting hair does not affect to reach the soul, to get enlightened, to reach waheguru or to find mukti, nirvana, moksha....it was my choice to have freedom to live my life the way thats it..

sorry if i have offened anybodys views. but i wud suggest my bro who wants to cut his hair that. dont give to much attention to ur outer look just care about innerlook ..i know its gonna be increasing diffecult for him to care about innerlook after having his hair cut..but a word of caution that.. it depends on what u are looking in life that makes the differnce..if u want to reaveal the deepest mystry of life and want to 'know ur self' that it juss immaterial according to me the way u look from outside...

Sangeet

[wjkk wjkf]

'undue hassel?' what does that mean?

[hps62]

We all Sikhs go thru what u are going thru.

I requested my mom for cutting my hairs when I was young and she told me it was a part of our uniform and as a disciplined soldier u must keep it.

our being a family of defence background it made sense.

Then I pondered why am I Sikh ?

It may mean different to different Sikhs but I made my own interpretation of SIkhism.

I saw its origin and noticed we were basically the tough guys who just wanted to be themself and not be imposed. some thing of the version word " born free "

AND i traced our roots and I found that we fought when ever any one challenged our or worlds freedom.

Be it the

Mughals

Britishers

Nazis

Brahminical practises.

sikhs of today are doing the same role in new ways.

Kanshi Ram empanciated the Dalits in India.

The currant PM of India is trying to empanciate several of the downtrodden in Indian society.

Backward castes,SC, ST , Minorities are finding a new lease of life.

He is also trying for freedom from Economic poverty and energy crisis.

I guess as a SIKH unlike many other religions u are "born free".

Debate and take deceions there are merits from both side of keeping and not keeping.

If u cut u may be more sucessfully in terms of Jobs , money and girls.

If u keep u may be more sucessfully in terms of a nebulous term called spirituality with no immediate tangible benifiets.

U could also do both as alluded by u ie

keep hair from year 0 - 18

Cut hair from 18 -45

keep it again from 45 years inward.

But I must tell u that if u keep hairs u will always encompass in your personality values off.

Chadi Kala

Courage.

equality for all living beings

hard work

earning the honest way

love

hsp