Jealousy

[Guest peacemaker]

WJKK WJKF

Accept it. Embrace it. And let it pass.

__________________

To deny the truth, is to deny life.

WJKK WJKF

how can one let it pass, if one embraces it?

Maybe jap naam is talking about stages?

[Guest jap naam]

how can one let it pass, if one embraces it?

WJKK WJKF

My bad, should have explained properly

I was talking in stages. What i meant is, when you accept you feel the way you do, you should try to embrace the jealousy/envy/fear of loss-change.

Instead of pushing it away because you don't want it to embody you, you agree it is there, look at it and acknowledge it's presence totally.

You can say then that it's ok to feel that 'because I learn who I am at this point in time'. It's understandable and normal what I'm going through and I see where it's coming from.

It's part of life.

You ask yourself why different feelings might be coming up.

You can only let go of something if you understand it and choose not to be attached to it anymore (as you've experienced it, learned from it and it doesn't touch you so much anymore because you 'dealt' with it, gone through it). So you willingly choose to give it up after experiencing it all. So then it's time to let go because you see it's no longer part of you.

I hope you get what i mean :TH:

I just know that when i start higher education he will drift off with his new friends and cousins who are going there. I would like to know how to deal with this.

Back to topic starter

Going to higher education should be a new and exciting experience as well as an opportunity to meet new and interesting people - for everyone including you.

Treat it as the adventure it will be. Don't get stuck on what will or won't happen.

True friends will always be true friends. Sometimes your paths may take you in different directions temporarily, but if the bond is strong enough it will always be there. If it's not, then you're grieving something that didn't exist in the first place.

It sounds to me, though, that you and your friend are close so I wouldn't worry too much.

Hope everything works out for you :TH:

WJKK WJKF

P.S. Forgive me if i have offended in the above. Im no expert and this is no overnight solution but these things take time .

(Just trying to help.)

[Guest peacemaker]

how can one let it pass, if one embraces it?

WJKK WJKF

My bad, should have explained properly

I was talking in stages. What i meant is, when you accept you feel the way you do, you should try to embrace the jealousy/envy/fear of loss-change.

Instead of pushing it away because you don't want it to embody you, you agree it is there, look at it and acknowledge it's presence totally.

You can say then that it's ok to feel that 'because I learn who I am at this point in time'. It's understandable and normal what I'm going through and I see where it's coming from.

It's part of life.

You ask yourself why different feelings might be coming up.

You can only let go of something if you understand it and choose not to be attached to it anymore (as you've experienced it, learned from it and it doesn't touch you so much anymore because you 'dealt' with it, gone through it). So you willingly choose to give it up after experiencing it all. So then it's time to let go because you see it's no longer part of you.

I hope you get what i mean :TH:

I just know that when i start higher education he will drift off with his new friends and cousins who are going there. I would like to know how to deal with this.

Back to topic starter

Going to higher education should be a new and exciting experience as well as an opportunity to meet new and interesting people - for everyone including you.

Treat it as the adventure it will be. Don't get stuck on what will or won't happen.

True friends will always be true friends. Sometimes your paths may take you in different directions temporarily, but if the bond is strong enough it will always be there. If it's not, then you're grieving something that didn't exist in the first place.

It sounds to me, though, that you and your friend are close so I wouldn't worry too much.

Hope everything works out for you :TH:

WJKK WJKF

P.S. Forgive me if i have offended in the above. Im no expert and this is no overnight solution but these things take time .

(Just trying to help.)

The best answer that can be given!

[kaur_khalistani_lioness]

Fateh Jee,

I was wondering how do you all cope with jealousy? I am about to start higher education in September meaning i will have to make new friends etc. I know how it goes, where new people arrive and your old friends drift off. I have a brilliant mate at school who has always been there for me. I just know that when i start higher education he will drift off with his new friends and cousins who are going there. I would like to know how to deal with this. Some of the people i know are rubbing it in my face that their actual best mates and that i get the feeling ill be left out.

Many thanks, take care

Vaaheguroo Jee Kaa Khaalsaa Vaaheguroo Jee Kee Fateh!

waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh!

have u talked with ur friend? does he know u feel that way? just be open. we assume to much sometimes and feel that other person knows what we are going through or how we are feeling when in reality other person can rarely feel wht u feeling until u explain it to them.(if u r like me, probably have hard time explaining how u feel. or ur mind feels that arrgh im gonna look stupid talkin to him/her and reveling my feelins;weakness)

hopefully japmans reply helps u in this situation.

why are u feeling jealous? i use that word lossy so it has lost its meanin o me lol

could it be tht u want that person only for u? u dont want to share him with anyone!(ok i guess this is where teh female perspective comes in. i have heard tht women get jealous a lot more thn guy? dont know how true it is but i guess its a feeling we know tooo well lol)

if u dont wanna lose that person.... well thn keep in touch. now these days its easy to keep in touch...phone, e-mailz etc etc. talk to him and hang out once a week if possible. good people are hard to find and i see that u feel tht way about ur friend. then just tell him so u both know where u both stand.

i have had so many friends...good ones and as time comes they leave. its freekin hard for gurls. our friends get married and move to diff places. tehy hang out with their "guys" friends and forget all about their own old friends :sady: lol (this was just to help u guys see that we all go through it one way or the other) but the thing is when u know in back of ur head that this is gonna happen, thn when the time comes it doesn't BREAK u. u see it as part of ur life. thts why we need to befriend our soul rather thn other people. get to know ur soul(i heard this from a 'gora' sikh and its soo true).

once u do that thn it doesn't matter who leaves u or who comes into ur life...u will enjoy every moment of it without feeling jealously or heartbreaks. u will enjoy their company and hopefully understand that these moments are just gifts and lessons to learn in this life. last avastha is where u see waheguru in all and dont really see the difference between who is urs and whos not urs.

loving and caring for a person without attachments is hard. but look at it this way no one is really urs in this world. all the people we meet, have good times with , share our life with for a while aren't really ours at all. our own human forum(body) an;t ours let alone other people being ours. =)

its a really hard lesson to learn in life and easy to write . just ask for sangat of gurmukhs so that u can get to be friends with waheguru, lives within us as well as outside, who doesn't ever leave us.

as japmans said it will take time.

dont hold urself back from making new friends. dont worry too much about losing ur old friends that u forget to enjoy the new experiences, nd people.

again i see this as a great opportunity for u to learn about urself; the beautiful soul that is residing in the beautiful magical castle created by Akal( the body)

im sure i have made many mistakes so bhul chuk muaff karni ji

may guru sahib keep his graceful glance on all of us and help us enjoy this life to the fullest.

Akal sahai!

waheguru ji kakhalsa waheguru ji ki fateh