Need Help For A Brother

[Guest a sister]

waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh

well i am a sister who wants my brother to go on the right path..he is going out of hand..he is 19 this year n he has been joining bad company all time long but as a sister i have been able to stop him all along but now im far away from home n I'm studying..so i'm not able to check on him all the time..he is giving my mum hell of a time..she doesn't complaint much as she do not want me to worry...but sooner or later i do get to know either from his good buddies or from my cousins...well i ain't gonna give up on my brother that easy.. i have tried the hard way and also with so much pyar.. i have to take the initiative as I'm the eldest n my father has passed on..so i cant let my mum take it all in..i use to be very close to him n still we are but the relationship isn't same as before...before he was the sweet little brother i had but now i see him, he is so different, so much of hangkar, thinks the whole world is against him, doesn't respect elders, and always gets into arguments n he is more into himself then being with his family..since im no more at home.. he has started going out alot till late nights and doesnt even bother to inform my mum..n pity her..she will stay up all nite waiting for him... this is really worrying me as i cant stand the attitude and im worried i might take the wrong step n make him learn the hard way..btw he is not interested in studying nor he is working..everytime i ask him wat are his plans,...he will say that he is looking for a job..so wat should this sister do?? i really do need the sangats help in advising...wat should i do.. i sometimes do think that i should back out as it his life n he should learn to take the right way as he is old enough..but wat is a sister to do..i juz cant give up on him and i cant see my mum sad....waheguru ji please help me

waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh

[Guest Gupt Singhni]

Hmm sounds like me when I was younger. The only way I was saved from that terrible company was ardaas. So the best thing to do is to do ardaas, only Guru Sahib can save him. Try to talk to him when you have the chance. I think you should seek help from another forum such as tapoban.org where you would recieve better advice since this is very serious.

Hope everything goes well.

[dalsingh101]

Panji,

Just a few things for you to consider.

When a man is around 18/19 lots of big changes are taking place in his body. Your brother will be pumped full of testosterone which will make him aggressive and independent minded. Also it is not uncommon for guys at this age to go through a rebellious phase. When you try and clip them, they just seem to get worse.

I've got some guys at the same age in my family too and it seems real strange when they change like that all of a sudden but personally I think it is natural and in good time they will grow out of it. Nagging will only make things worse.

My advice is as his sister just be nice to him and don't be surprised if he reacts aggressively over any little thing right now because he will be inclined to do so.

Just pray he manages to stay out of trouble long enough for him to pass through this phase and love and support him like a sister should.

[Guest Guest]

I agree with DalSingh101. You can sign him up for Sikh activities such as common week long Sikh camps which happens probably in ur country. Another thing you can do is "Do ardas for your brother." May Waheguru gives you enough strength to deal with family issues.

[Guest Gupt Singhni]

khqy mukqu sbid insqwrY ]

kehathae mukath sabadh nisathaarai ||

Chanting the Shabad, he is liberated, and saves others as well.

qwrydVo BI qwir nwnk ipr isau riqAw ]1]

thaaraedharro bhee thaar naanak pir sio rathiaa ||1||

One who is imbued with the Love of the Husband Lord - O Nanak, he himself is saved, and he saves others as well. ||1||

If you keep on japping naam and doing paath your brother will get saved

[Guest Guest]

god helps those who helps themselves. u should do ardas, but doing ardas isnt going to help much u if he doesnt change his ways. he is old enough to know what is right and wrong. i think you should be with him and help him through this stage. ur brother needs ur support and u should go and help him coz i dont think he will be able to change himself. u have to keep on trying. With u studying away from home, it is way too hard. it comes down to either what u want....do u want to keep studying...or do u want make ur brother a better person..u will be able to do it. u can do both..but its hard to do it far away form home. i would rather help my brother(if he was like that) than become a doctor or whatever. Whats more important to u? U can study after, but maybe if u dont change ur brothers ways soon, it could ttake him years to change, maybe never. thats what i think anywayz good luck and hope ur bro changes.