Lies Breaking Up My Relationship With Family Member

[Guest Need_Advice]

What would you do if someone in your family (e.g. brother in law or sister in law) was lying about you to someone in your family (e.g. your sister or your brother) and your sister/brother believed the lie to be true? This is my situation and it has destroyed my relationship with my immediate family member. We do not speak and act like strangers. That person now does not trust me and thinks of me badly. It is making me so sepressed that I am starting to fall into a state of mind where I am starting to blame myself. I have no support from other members of my family, they all get along with the 'liar' fine in order to avoid any further conflict.

The liar will never admit to my family members that they have lied about me but i miss my family member, i've been cut out of their life and want to sort things out but i dont know how. Because the liar and the family member are married it's not possibe to speak to the family member without having to speak to the liar too. I have forgiven the liar once before and feel like a fool if I should do it again. I don't want to be seen as a walkover but I don't want to be lonely and cut off from my family either. I just wish that the liar would admit that they lied about me but that doesn't look like it's going to happen. It's not really healthy for a marriage to discover that your partner lies so I guess they will never admit it. I can be quite hot-headed and that hasn't helped the situation, but when someone is lying about me and getting away with it, it makes me so angry.

What do I do? Please give me some advice.

[Babbar Shere]

Whatever the situation is, if somebody is saying something behind your back that is not true, you need to confront them straight-up. If you are ture, and have nothing to hide, then just say whats bothering you in front of everybody, and the person who's spreading the lies will have nothing to say. If you know your true, then dont worry about what happens, just tell me them to their face. If people whould just start confronting people, it would solve a lot of problems. (oh and dont think iam yelling at you or anything, i am jsut saying you know?)

[Tarrandeep Kaur]

hmmmm difficult situation.

I would say you need to speak to the liar first: your bro/sis in law. Show them what you posted on here, and explain how it had affected you. Then speak to your immediate faily member (ther partner) try and explain the situation, how much its hurt you.

Then have a little family meeting, try and bring sum1 hus on ur side, try and explain everything calmly. Could you try and speak to the 'liars' family, get them to make them see sense?

If they still refuse to believe you, then what else can you do?

Sum things in life are tough, we can only do our best, if u've tried every possible path, then theres not much else you can do.

As long as ur bro/sis knows tht u'll always be there for them.

eventually the truth will come out, it always will. then we'll see what happens to the 'liar'

stay strong.

gurfateh jee

[xkaurx]

what goes around comes around...truth will eventually get out sooner or later, you can only do so much, maybe give it another shot and try talking to them both rationally if they still dont listen then i think you just need to take a step back and take a good look at them both...that family member obviously doesnt think as highly of you as you do of them so why make the effort if they arent willing to?

[A.Akali Ajit Singh.A]

try to speak to the liar sympathetically.

this person must have done it for some reason.

try to break the reason out from this person.

then maybe encourage him/her to tell your family.

Then if he/she is then told off or punished defend her/him

this way you can make friends and clear up this lying situation.

[Guest Guest]

ninaks wash your paap away, gursikhs would love the opportunity to have someone like that, who will tell lies about them, the liars are your slaves, they are washing your sins, as Kabeer ji says in gurbani many times.

just live your life, no need to confront ppl, if u want just tell ur bro or sis / parents once what the situation is, but get on with ur life, and follow your purpose. no need to do any confronting etc, be the better person, your not alone, its happened to countless ppl

so next time dont get angry, be humble , smile and be a better person, live and act truthfully and do aardas n read gurbani , get yourself to the gurudwara and your sorted!!

[G. Singh]

I think u should find out the reason y ur bro/sis in law said that lie, then talk to him/her as well as all the other family members. Mabey theres just a misunderstanding between the two of u.

I doubt it really works coz most of the time just talking doesn't really do anything but still go for it and try it!!!

if not TRY to jus move on in life. :lol:

[Guest _Manj Kaur_]

What would you do if someone in your family (e.g. brother in law or sister in law) was lying about you to someone in your family (e.g. your sister or your brother) and your sister/brother believed the lie to be true? This is my situation and it has destroyed my relationship with my immediate family member. We do not speak and act like strangers. That person now does not trust me and thinks of me badly. It is making me so sepressed that I am starting to fall into a state of mind where I am starting to blame myself. I have no support from other members of my family, they all get along with the 'liar' fine in order to avoid any further conflict.

The liar will never admit to my family members that they have lied about me but i miss my family member, i've been cut out of their life and want to sort things out but i dont know how. Because the liar and the family member are married it's not possibe to speak to the family member without having to speak to the liar too. I have forgiven the liar once before and feel like a fool if I should do it again. I don't want to be seen as a walkover but I don't want to be lonely and cut off from my family either. I just wish that the liar would admit that they lied about me but that doesn't look like it's going to happen. It's not really healthy for a marriage to discover that your partner lies so I guess they will never admit it. I can be quite hot-headed and that hasn't helped the situation, but when someone is lying about me and getting away with it, it makes me so angry.

What do I do? Please give me some advice.