Family Problems

[Guest mmmmmmmmmmmm]

Hi... I'm 15 years old, I got some family problems

This is whats happening

My dad wants to married to some other girl and wants a divorce from my mom. They bin fight just about every hour for the past week..

My mom has eye problem and can not see 100% even with her glass.. So she can't work. My dad says that I'm going to take every thing and leave you nothing so you can go beg on the streets! What do I do ?? My dads going to some guys house to see if they have a basement where he can live separate.

I'm really scared any one know what I can do..Don't think he will stop this has bin going on for over 6 months. A few times he even kicked my mom and hurt her leg and back, so she called the cops and now my dads says if you like they cops so much why don't you go live with them. We got no family in Canada and if we go to India my dad says he will shoot us if we go to India or follow him to India.

Admin Note: This is a serious matter. Any insensitive or inappropriate response will be dealt with sternly, therefore think before you reply.

[Mehtab Singh]

I would like to know which city and country you are from. Maybe someone from around there on this board can give you proper advice, and/or who to get in touch with. Do NOT give out your name or any contact info on the main forum.

[Guest Guest]

It would be best that you speak to someone whose trained to handle such situations.

Will suggest these organisations, call the Hotline numbers.

http://www.sikhhelpline.com/cms/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=28&Itemid=38

http://www.sikhwomen.com/antiviolence/hotlines.htm

[DalbirSingh]

Hello, its a very difficult and private issue I would really need to know what is fully happening before giving you proper advice, because

one bad move could make more problems all I would say is go to Gurdwara to full ardas (open you heart infront of guru granth sahib) let it all out

infront of Guru Granth Sahib even if you are not Sikh go to Gurdwara people of other faiths have had there prayers heard. Just get some peace from gurdwara, if you are scared to go in diwan go when theres no diwan, there may be school councilors who could help out or even other child line services which your school careers citzenship advisors can give.

Otherwise call up S.A.S sikh awareness society http://www.sasorg.co.uk/contact.html

General Enquiries: 07780 601 351

Serious Enquiries Only:

07780 601 351

If you are a victim of hate-crime, or are facing problems highlighted by the SAS and require assistance. sas.helpline@googlemail.com

Further information, Sewa

opportunities, Event bookings etc: sas.helpline@googlemail.com

I would advise call from outside for the moment, it sounds like your dad might be under the spell of this other person, and I would say you need to stay calm and collective. Think everything out, whatever happens is in the hands of God. The Uk has a high divorce rate about 50% of marriages break up so you are not alone its a common problem and you have expressed bravery to come out with your problem. You really need to talk to a REAL friend who could advise you properly and not make the problem worse.

I know people in my family who went through the same thing, but in the end got good things out of it they were allowed to do bigger things in life and God opened more doors.

Legally the borough could interfere, if your father has inflicted physical harm on you or your mother then he can go to jail, legally you and your mother would be favoured, your mother would get single parent benefits and you would get more benefits offcourse many asian families have abused it so alot of checking would be done to verify it all. You would attain housing benefit, so if its really in the case of getting chucked out dont take the basement you could get a house, get some advice from the local council, properly there are alot of forms. Alot of cases like these sometimes end up to extreme cases with murder so its always good to let some one else know of your situation dont think of it as dishonour, you have to let some one know family member or someone you can trust, school or extreme case the Police.

If i was you I would talk to other family from your dads side and mums side to come and help, grandparents dads brothers or sisters anyone, family is there to help solve these problems, if need be lastly talk to your dads lover, let her know what she doing, she may not care, but its a complex situation, and you really need some advice dont bottle yourself in. I hope everything works out for you. But please talk to some profesionals.

Here are some helplines

Divorce

Careline

020 8514 1177

Monday to Friday, 10am to 4pm and 7pm to 10pm.

Confidential telephone counselling for children, young people and adults.

Parentline Plus

Helpline: Freephone 0808 800 2222

www.parentlineplus.org.uk

National helpline on all aspects of parenting and advice those undergoing the process of divorce or separation

Families Need Fathers

To explore and maintain a child's relationship with both parents following seperation and divorce.

Helpline: 08707 607496

Website: www.fnf.org.uk

Gingerbread

Advice Line: 0800 018 4318 (Mon-Fri 10am-4pm)

www.gingerbread.org.uk

Provides day-to-day support and practical help for all aspects of lone-parenthood via a national network of local self-help groups and a helpline

National Council for One Parent Families

Lone Parent Helpline: 0800 018 5026 (Mon-Fri 9am-5pm; Wed 9am-8pm)

www.oneparentfamilies.org.uk

Information for lone parents on a variety of issues

The National Society for Children and Family Contact

Supports those struggling to cope with the aftermath of separation, divorce or bereavement.

Helpline 0870 766 8596

Website: www.nscfc.com

National Family Mediators Association

A network of over 60 not-for-profit Family Mediation Services in England and Wales offering help to couples, married or unmarried, who are in the process of separation and divorce.

www.thefma.co.uk

Helpline 0808 2000033

It's Not Your Fault

www.itsnotyourfault.org

Practical information and support for children, young people and parents going through a family break-up.

Get Connected

Helpline: 0808 808 4994

www.getconnected.org

Confidential helpline and chatroom for young people on any issue

Government website with information on Divorce, Family issues and the Law

http://www.direct.go...w/Divorce/fs/en

Consumer Credit Counselling Service

Freephone 0800 138 1111

CCCS is a registered charity providing free independent counselling to help to help you solve your debt problems, avoid bankruptcy and learn to handle money.

Home-Start

Recruits and trains volunteers to support any parent with at least one child under five in many situations including isolation, post-natal depression, multiple births, bereavement, disability of children or parents, illness, or just finding parenting a bit of a struggle

0800 068 63 68

www.home-start.org.uk

Marriage Care

0845 660 6000 (local rate) Mon to Fri, 10am to 4pm

Helpline offering information and listening for people with marriage or relationship difficulties. Also offers counselling for those with marriage or relationship difficulties or those preparing for marriage. Provides fertility awareness advice. Sixty centres in England and Wales. Address: Clitherow House, 1 Blythe Mews, Blythe Road. London, W14

National Council for the Divorced and Separated

www.ncds.org.uk

Tel: 07041 478 120

If you are divorced, separated or widowed. Looking for a new social life and friendship, in a safe friendly atmosphere. NCDS offers support.

Relate

0845 130 40 10

Mon to Fri, 9.30am to 4.30pm

A service for individuals and couples with relationship difficulties. Counselling and support service, staffed by trained couple counsellors. Information and referrals to the other 94 Relate centres throughout the UK and to other services as appropriate. www.relate.org.uk

The Grandparents Association

Offers advice, information and support to grandparents

Helpline: 0845 434 9585

Website: www.grandparents-association.org.uk

http://www.itv.com/L...es/Divorce.html

[Guest Maha.jyot]

This solution is the hardest to carry out. It'll take two things: Belief and faith. Are you willing?

'Sukhmani Sahib'. English Version can be found online. You just need to make the effort. Do it wherever and whenever you can, and much as you can. One Astpaddee a day or two or three or the entire Gurbani, if you like. Depending on your speed towards him will come the showers of his Divine Grace. Though, you'll just take one step towards him, and he'll take many towards you. So the more the better. Don't worry if you are not able to concentrate on it yet. With practice will come a better concentration and love for the Divine. That's his blessings. When the recitation of Gurbani is started, the Preserver Lord protects us himself. This is called entering his sanctuary. So are you willing?

The way to request for his help is through Gurbani.

ਸਭ ਸ੍ਰਿਸਟਿ ਸੇਵੇ ਦਿਨੁ ਰਾਤਿ ਜੀਉ ॥

sabh srisatt saevae dhin raath jeeo ||

The whole Universe serves You, day and night.

ਦੇ ਕੰਨੁ ਸੁਣਹੁ ਅਰਦਾਸਿ ਜੀਉ ॥

dhae kann sunahu aradhaas jeeo ||

Please hear my prayer, O Dear Lord.

ਠੋਕਿ ਵਜਾਇ ਸਭ ਡਿਠੀਆ ਤੁਸਿ ਆਪੇ ਲਇਅਨੁ ਛਡਾਇ ਜੀਉ ॥੧੨॥

thok vajaae sabh dditheeaa thus aapae laeian shhaddaae jeeo ||12||

I have thoroughly tested and seen all, You alone, by Your Pleasure, can save us. ||12||

[Guest Bloom]

Also, My Prayers are With You, and I Wish Everything Works out For The Better For You.