Marriage

[Guest C_kaur]

Hi, i need some advice, I have been in a relationship for 5 years and it has become apparent recently that my partner wants to take the next step in sikhi and move away from maya e.g going out for meals, seeing friends, socialising in general and I can't bring myself to do that just yet. I dont see y these things I have mentioned are such bad things, Im so confused with all this and the result maybe that we di not not continue our relationship if this disagreement continues!

[DaljitKaur24]

Well you know that's his choice and you shouldn't stop him from what he wants to do and he shouldn't stop you. There's nothing wrong with going out to eat or hanging out with friends. If he doesnt want to be doing that then you should spend the time with him doing wht he wants and when your not with him then you can hang out with friends. He doesn't want to go out to eat just with you either? Or in like a group? Are u both married? If you think that you cannot be restricted then maybe it's time to move on. Good luck

[Guest C_kaur]

I don't want to stop him doing anything and I don't make him do anything either, he doesn't like going out with me either, he doesnt like me assocoating with my friends because he thinks they bring my high vibes down, he doesn't like hanging out with his friends because of the same reason, we're not married yet but our parents know that we're together and want to get married, but I just feel so confused now, I feel like what I am wanting to do eg shopping, meals, going to weddings etc is really bad, I don't eat meat or drink, but I do cut my hair. I do want to take Amrit one day and I was hoping that I would do that with him when we're married, but I think he wants to do it soon and I am not ready for it yet, thank u for ur advice

[DaljitKaur24]

I was in the same position as you. Me and my husband were engaged for about two years before we got married and he didn't like me hanging out or going out anywhere. Now that we're married that has changed a little bit. We go out to eat shop watch a movie etc. but he has never introduced me to his friends and don't want to hang out with mine because he thinks they are a bad influence. Recently he started growing his beard out and he wants to take Amrit but wants me to do it too. I'm not mentally ready yet prolly becuz I'm so used to waxing/cutting hair and I really don't know how to stear away from that. He said he will stop eating meat and drinking after I take Amrit with him but I just feel like that's just blackmail. I don't eat meat or drink just cut my hair either. Just sit with him and explain to him how your feeling and that your not ready yet but your proud that he's taking the next step towards sikhi. If your planning on getting married to him then there shouldn't be compromises like not going out to eat or shopping. If he only wants to do it his way then you really need to evaluate your relationship with him. Just express to him how you feel I'm sure he will understand. Good luck to you!

[Guest Guru ji's child]

I would say its easier for both people to maintain the relationship if both share the same values. I can totally understand its really hard for you to sustain your relationship because your partner is changing. Believe it or not, it's equally hard for your partner aswell. I am in the same stage. Most important is communication with eachother. Another suggestion that I want to give is, do think about your future, but don't overthink and make assumptions about it. It's really your choice if you guys want to be together or not. Alot of times I have seen, if one person gets interested into religion, the other person starts to get interested aswell. Try to understand the reasons behind why he does things in the way he does. Just remember, please dont blame him for "changing" which has made the relationship challenging, because even he must be having alot of feelings buried in his heart which he thinks he can't share it with you because you wouldn't support him. Even he is unable to show you a spiritual and important part of themselves which holds high importance to them and which is not being accepted by you. On the other hand , I do understand the compromises and hardships you are dealing with to deal with everything. Wish you both good luck May Waheguru ji bless you both.

[Guest C_kaur]

Thank u for ur response and ur kind words. I would never say anything bad about him going futher into sikhi I think it is amazing and I would love to be able to do it now too, I just hoped that we could have done it together. We both want the same things and r so similar in so many ways. I am just going to leave it to waheguru now and pray that god will do the best thing for us both. Things have been tough lately but I hope they get better, thanks again