Apologies if I sounded snappy, getting old :-(
Where does the Guru reside? In the sangat. Sangat is Guru roop.
So would we expect Guru Ji to stand in line, pick up a thali and choose which sabzi/dhall etc to get and then find a place to sit? No, we would very respectfully sit Guru Ji down in pangat place thali in front and serve Guru Ji and then pick up the thali after wards. So we should do the same for the sangat, as the sangat is Guru roop.
I hear your frustrations, I know its difficult but the committee needs to be made aware of the service and ways to improve it. It may need a jatha of people to take control and organise the langar, get the youth involved.