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VAHEGURU JI KA KHALSA VAHEGURU JI KI FATEH It would be advisable to ask whoever replies to state his/her age and marital status to see if they are close enough to the subject and weigh that comment within that context. Having a physical relationship with your spouse is not banned or a kurehit. Excessive indulgence - the only real way to see if it is excessive is whether it impairs your Sikhi. If you cannot wake up at amritvela, do Naam Simran and Nitnem and further your Sikhi, then any activity being done is being excessive because it hinders Sikhi. If you are able to maintain your Sikhi and maintain status quo, then it may not be (unless it occupies your mind all day and blocks focus on Naam, Gurbani). Do you go pesh for such things - no. Again - NO. Having kids (especially younger ones - we have a few) leaves very little time for a deep relationship with your spouse. You may not have the time to embark on those long walks together or go somewhere without your children present (which again, doesn't real count as wedded couple time). Somehow a physical relationship with your spouse is being presented as an enemy towards Sikhi. It's not. Don't beat yourself up over it. Don't feel guilty, Don't end up suppressing your physical relationship (and then causing tension and problems with your spouse) - sit down and talk this through with your spouse (not that you have much free time being parents, but try) and keep the lines of communication open, and modify to progress in your Sikhi AND keep a healthy, positive married relationship. The point of the laavan were that you both progress through your life together towards Akaal Purakh. Personally the translation of Dasam Bani quoted above (which is from Chritropakhyan) is not as accurate as patshahi10's: sudh jab te ham dhari, bacan gur dae hamare, put ihe pran tone praan jab lag ghat thare, nij nari ke sath neh tum nit bodhaio par nari ki sej bhul supne hu na jayo Ever since I came of age, the Guru instructed me thus: Son, take an oath and keep it as long as there is life in you, Love thy legal wife ever and ever so much that Not even in a dream should you share the bed of other woman. Given the context it is in Chritropakhyan, which does deal with physical intimate relationships, it is advisable to keep the above verse also in mind. Guru Sahib is advising that your relationship with your spouse should be so strong that the thought of another does not enter your mind and you can focus on your Sikhi without having your mind wander to another. http://patshahi10.org/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=393:the-history-and-compilation-of-the-dasm-granth-part-4&catid=34:english&Itemid=63

VAHEGURU JI KA KHALSA, VAHEGURU JI KI FATEH Sangat - do you have it? Is it good and inspirational?

VAHEGURU JI KA KHALSA, VAHEGURU JI KI FATEH Which puratan Maryada? Doesn't puratan maryada support jhatka, bhang? Perhaps it supports parkash of two/three granths? Perhaps it supports Sarbloh bibek? Is there only one maryada or many? Is there really one group that has all of the "puratan maryada" unaltered by time and true to 1699? Perhaps we all follow "puratan" maryada" - different aspects and parts of it in all Jathebandian. Perhaps we are all really one thing: Gursikhs. Perhaps if we get out of our boxes once in a while and do Sangat with other Gursikhs, we will benefit more than if we stay in one box. Just some idle thoughts. I see Puratan referenced here to add weight to an argument or a practice of Sikhi. I deeply hope that all still see each other as Sikhs above anything else. Once you start to go this road of saying "mine is puratan and yours is not, we get sad arguments amongst Sikhs (what in reality, we all really are).

VAHEGURU JI KA KHALSA, VAHEGURU JI KI FATEH Taksal Rehas Sahib, typically is referred to as complete - Sampooran. However, it would be worthy to note that Hazoori Rehas Sahib, Nihang Rehras Sahib and Nanaksar Rehras Sahib is longer. Would they then consider the Taksali Rehras Sahib as not Sampooran? Let's not get into these discussions on whose Nitnem is longer or complete: Let's actually do the Nitnem, follow it and make it a part of life. More Gurbani is always good and there is nothing stopping Sikhs from doing more - the Rehat defines the minimum - we should try to go above the minimum.

VAHEGURU JI KA KHALSA, VAHEGURU JI KI FATEH California has a decent presence of Sikhs in most bigger cities (Los Angeles, San Francisco) and across the Central valley (from Sacramento to Fresno to Bakersfield). New Jersey - city of Carteret and surrounding areas. Richmond Hill in Queens, NY has probably the highest density of Sikhs in the U.S. Smaller clusters are in Seattle, Dallas/Houston, Indiana, Chicago, Atlanta, maybe Michigan. Western Sikhs have center in New Mexico, but also in Los Angeles. Mid West and other lesser populated areas are much less likely.

Punjab? You should have an abundance of groups to pick from. Pick any major jathebandi in the Panth, ask who their core elders are and begin to do Sangat with them. Damdami Taksal, Nanaksar, AKJ, Nihangs, etc. Pick what appeals to you and go. There are good Gursikhs in every jathebandi - find a group that appeals to you and go now.

Generally, where you located (city, state/province, country)?

VAHEGURU JI KA KHALSA, VAHEGURU JI KI FATEH If you are concerned with the jeevan of the sevadaars who do amrit sanchars, then you may have to take time to do sangat with different groups of sangat and see which group(s) have a strong rehatvaan jeevan full of naam, bani and seva. Those groups most likely will point to the amrit sanchar you are looking for. Otherwise, do ardaas and just go - it is not worthwhile to wait if you are truly repentant and want to get back on the path of Sikhi - who knows how many breaths you have left in you?

Pandit Keshav Das

VAHEGURU JI KA KHALSA, VAHEGURU JI KI FATEH Find evidence in history that shows that when the Gurgaddi was transferred, parkash of Dasam Granth Sahib was also done and coconut and 5 paise were placed in front of Dasam Granth Sahib and/or Sarbloh Granth Sahib (same ceremony that was conducted to transfer Guruship from 1st to 10th Patshahi). That might do it in a convincing manner.

VAHEGURU JI KA KHALSA, VAHEGURU JI KI FATEH Please go here - https://www.sikhitothemax.org/ Then type in ਹੋਮ. Change from first letter to full word (Gurakhar). The please read. Gurbani makes it clear that havan is not in line with Gurmat.

VAHEGURU JI KA KHALSA, VAHEGURU JI KI FATEH Why do you want to be a Sikh? Is having girls and popularity more important to you than Sikhi? What is your end goal in life? Does that goal match with the aim of Sikhi or not? I think perhaps you should ask yourself these questions and deeply consider where you want to be in life. Please don't make Sikhi a shirt that you put on and take off.

Definitely need mods that can put aside their personal associations and beliefs to be fair minded and not express favoritism for any group, treating all Sikh groups fairly and stop any group from being bashed. Bring the hammer down on profanity (explicitly or other#@& stated), personal attacks and stick to the forum rules.

No biggie.

VAHEGURU JI KA KHALSA, VAHEGURU JI KI FATEH Thread started to warn about abuse...ends up with abuse.