MisterrSingh

Karams play a part. It's tough and frustrating to hear because it feels so disempowering to be at the mercy of something that you feel you've no control over. But we do have a certain degree of control over our karams, in as much as improving them through practicing the teachings in Gurbani. It's slow and arduous but that's the reality of it. As jacfsingh mentioned above, our ardaas is only fulfilled if it's the right thing for us at that time in our lives. Don't we, as Sikhs, harbour a hope that Guru Sahib has our back at all times, and protects us from the bad as well as what might be the bad masquerading as good? Sometimes what we want the most, or what we consider to be correct, simply isn't true. If by not giving into our demands, isn't God doing us a favour in the long-term, even if we struggle to see the reasons for doing so in the present?

12 years for a first marriage is too much in my opinion. I suppose it also depends on whether you or her look older, younger, or just right for your ages. But that's secondary. The most important concern should be mentality and intentions of both people. Too much to go into, some of which will trigger some people, lol, so there's no point. Big Tera, if this was 40 or 30 years ago, I'd have said "go for it." Now? Not really.

Some people need to stop behaving as if they're the professors, when they're actually the students.

I go hard on fellow Amritdharis on this site. I believe we need to conduct ourselves with the necessary decorum befitting of those who've taken amrit, and hold ourselves to a higher standard. However, that unfortunately translates to some of us assuming airs and graces that are frankly laughable. It's the ego gone rampant, and I think most of this behaviour originates from some parcharaks and holy men filling impressionable heads with certain views in order to increase Amritdhari numbers so that being Gursikh carries a certain sense of prestige. And we know that humans love feeling unique and special. Extra masala is not needed to lend Gursikhi prestige. It speaks for itself. However, I agree with the above opinion in bold to an extent. I should preface my words with the fact that the "best" Sikhs I've ever known (however one chooses to measure such things: knowledge, humility, wisdom, patience) started off as moneh. BUT there's a small group who have no intention of ever lowering their head in humility at the feet of Guru Sahib, yet they see no issue with pontificating about Sikh issues they should think twice about commenting on as if they're approaching the situation from a place of authority. I can understand if these guys are actively working towards a stage of adopting Gursikhi, no matter how gradually, but in most cases there's never any intention of doing so. Everyone can have an opinion, no problem, but there's certain things that people need to understand can only be discussed with any perceivable sense of confidence and comprehension if you've walked that path yourself. Anyway, apologies if I've offended anyone. This subject is particularly sensitive for people on both sides of the divide.

That's not falling in love, that's just being a well-rounded, receptive person without prejudices. Male-female relations pertaining to long term relationships are full of wildly varying dynamics, some of which defy logic. What you perceive to be "getting to know the person's qualities" might be the other person pushing the immediately visible surface layer of their persona whilst suppressing the rest. Everyone puts their best foot forward in those situations; rarely do people say, "Well i have a horrid temper most times, and i don't like to wake up before 1pm on Sundays." That's why westerners date, in order to discover the true person beneath the initial appeal that inevitably erodes over time. But even that isn't a fool proof method of discovering someone's nature and intentions. My point is there's no guaranteed formula for discovering someone's inner workings. One can make arrive at a calculated and educated decision after weighing up various factors, but going merely by what the other person presents to you is unwise. In other words, follow your head, not that warm, jumpy feeling in your chest or your stomach.

The first mistake you're making is the "falling in love" part, lol.

Don't feed the troll...

The fact that he was allowed his own thread despite being banned, was quite a strange decision. Gupt or not, he was still allowed the privilege to express his opinions and engage with other forum members. So either lift his ban and allow him to return, or prevent him from starting another thread even as a gupt poster, because as things stand on this site, being banned is not a measure to prevent anyone from posting. So what's the point?

I've genuinely never heard a peep about them from anyone. Scotland's pretty inclusive and welcoming for Sikhs, isn't it?

It's spamming the site, and he doesn't stop. It's not even as if he offers an opinion on what he's posted, or provides a quote from the article. Just a link to another site, or a copy and paste job.

ANOTHER thread on the same subject? The third? Really?!?

It's a term... never mind.

Never heard of them.

I never thought I'd ever use this term but in this particular situation it seems apt: it's white privilege. Hate to say it, but there's an element of that at play. Whether it's warranted or not isn't quite clear to me. Neither side seems to be doing themselves justice. The naturalised Punjabis seem quite jumpy and dictatorial, whilst the converts and their supporters refuse to concede the middle ground.

It's all head spinning. I can only imagine what someone must think who's trying to get a foothold in the faith. Mixed signals and confusion all the way.

Duplicate thread. You've already posted it yesterday.

Wrong section. Should go in the 'Media' sub-forum.

It's fine. Thanks for understanding.

That's my thoughts on the subject summed up. For some reason that upsets a few people. Crapping out a litter of feral little scrotes is somehow meant to translate into a superb fauj of Sikhs who somehow manage to embody all the qualities requires to navigate the tough terrain ahead of us. Muslims are NOT an example to aspire to. Their numbers mean NOTHING in the darbaar of the Lord.

No. It's a reference to Star Wars. The Force? The mystical power that surrounds and permeates all living things which might be referred to as intuition, knowledge, etc, that is derived from an unseen source designed to guide us towards goodness and truth. I suggested that in order to decide who is "good" and "bad" we should look within and make use of the budhi we're supposed to cultivate through adherence to Sikh teachings. It's quite sad i had to spell it all out, lol. The joke is dead.

Maybe I'm out of the loop on this one, but can someone explain to me why Gursikhs of a marriageable age would object to a dastaar wearing girl? What are they teaching them in their little sects these days? How has something that use to be an honourable and positive sign ended up being viewed as a negative?

Use the Force.

Proves how thick they are if it was planned as a counter-procession to our specific religious occasion. They perceive a day where Sikhs gather, in theory, to sing the praises of God, as an implicitly aggressive political and social statement on our existence in their lands. We'd hold a Nagar kirtan if we lived on the bloody moon, lol. It has nothing to do with making any statement about other races or groups.

Wow, conceptually that's way too subtle and nuanced for Indian society, lol. No wonder it all went to pot.

Don't get me wrong, I'm no way painting everyone in broad strokes, or suggesting I'm somehow above it all. But in terms of a spiritual Sikh perspective, we are too easily hoodwinked by surface pretensions, whereas if that surface is scratched in the slightest way, it reveals either outright deception in the most extreme cases, or at the less severe end of the scale a noticeable and underwhelming shallowness not too far removed from the supposed godless amongst us. I suppose, strange as it is to mention it, things are much the same for everyone, Sikh or non-Sikh alike.