Funny Jokes

[Heera Singh]

HAHAH i was gonna tell that same joke but with a chinese guy, indian guy and jamaican guy....

but this one would have been funnier 'cause at the end the indian guyz wife goes "saalya, tu apna aap lunch banaya"

[Heera Singh]

so <admin-profanity filter activated> you all know after the bombing in afghanistan they had to do a whole bunch of construction and re-constructiong...but the U.S. intelligence has discovered that the Taliban have renamed some of their towns to confuse us.

These new names include:

1. Wherz-Myroof (Where's my roof)

2. Mykamel-Izded (My camel is dead)

3. Oshit-Disisbad (oh <admin-profanity filter activated> this is bad)

4. Wadde-El-Izgowinon (what the hell is gwannin)

5. Pleez-Ztopdishit (please stop dis <admin-profanity filter activated>)

6. Kizz-Yerass-Gudbi (kiss your <admin-profanity filter activated> goodbye)

7. Ikantstan-Disnomor (I can't stand dis no more)

8. Myturbin-Izburnin (my turbin is burnin)

9. Imma-Dedshmuc (i'm a dead shmuc)

[The Khalsa Fauj]

Other jokes are fine but these with these about sexa ren't good. Not at all.

[Guest Sony]

needed a laugh.... these worked <_<

[smartsingh24]

HAAAAAAWWWWWWWW. Heera you have such a mouth

[Ek Kaur]

A couple of Posh and Beck jokes

Posh and Becks are sitting in front of the television watching

the six o'clock news. The main story is a man threatening to jump off the Clifton

Suspension Bridge on to the busy road below.Posh turns to Becks and says: "David, I bet you £5,000 that he jumps!" To which Beckhamreplies "£5,000?Done! I bet that he doesn't." So they shake hands on the bet and continue watching. Sure enough, the man jumps and hits the road below with a loud thud.

Beckham takes £5,000 out of his back pocket and hands it to Posh. But

she refuses. "I can't take your money, David," she says. "The truth is, I was cheating. I saw the five o'clock news, so I knew he was going to jump."

"No, babe, fair's fair" says David. "That money is yours fair and square. I was cheating just as you were. I saw the five o'clock news, too. I just didn't think he would do it again."

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The Manchester United players are in the dressing room on

Saturday, just before the game, when Roy Keane walks in. "Boss," he says,

there's a problem. I'm not playing unless I get a Cortisone injection."

"Hey," says Becks. "If he's having a new car, so am I."

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Posh takes her car into a garage to have some dents removed. The mechanic knowing she isn't the brightest Spice Girl in the world, decides to play a joke on her. "You don't need me to take those dents out," he says. "Just blow up the exhaust pipe and the metal will pop back into place." So she takes the car home and tries it. David spots her from the house, opens a window and shouts, "You silly cow! You have to wind the windows up first!"

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David Beckham is celebrating: "57 days, 57 days!" he shouts happily. Posh asks him why he is celebrating. He answers: "Well, I've done this jigsaw in only 57 days. "Is that good?" asks Posh. "You bet," says David. "It says 3 to 5 years on the box."

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David Beckham had a near-death experience the other day when he went riding. Everything was going fine until the horse started bucking up and down out of control. He tried with all his might to hang on but it was no good. With his foot caught in the stirrup, he fell head-first to the ground. His head continued to bump on the ground as the horse refused to stop or even slow down. Fortunately, however, there was a happy ending. Just as he was giving up hope and losing consciousness, the Woolworth's manager came along and unplugged it.

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David Beckham is the guest speaker at a management seminar. He steps up to the podium and begins his speech. "They're small and minty and keep my breath fresh for up to two hours, and to Victoria's delight they're only two calories". The audience looks stunned, when a small voice from the side of the podium whispers:-"No David, you're here to talk about tactics."

[Heera Singh]

Posh and Becks are sitting in front of the television watching

the six o'clock news. The main story is a man threatening to jump off the Clifton

Suspension Bridge on to the busy road below.Posh turns to Becks and says: "David, I bet you £5,000 that he jumps!" To which Beckhamreplies "£5,000?Done! I bet that he doesn't." So they shake hands on the bet and continue watching. Sure enough, the man jumps and hits the road below with a loud thud.

Beckham takes £5,000 out of his back pocket and hands it to Posh. But

she refuses. "I can't take your money, David," she says. "The truth is, I was cheating. I saw the five o'clock news, so I knew he was going to jump."

"No, babe, fair's fair" says David. "That money is yours fair and square. I was cheating just as you were. I saw the five o'clock news, too. I just didn't think he would do it again."

hahaha that one was hilarious....