Facial hair job....can I compromise just one thing

[guruji's_student]

VAHEGURU JI KA KHALSA VAHEGURU JI KI FATHE SANGAT JIO!

Im coming into sikhi a alot now , and i have also thought about hair mainly facial hair though ,its not much of a problem but im scared of it going out of control lol

Well when you tell family/freinds that you would 1 day like to take amrit first thing they say is OMG that means u cnt cut ya hair or nething! im like yeah i know, but people think oo theyre amirtdhari and theyre expected to be hairy because your not supposed to remove ya body hair!, and my fmaily laugh and say ha ha ha ure gna be hairy etc! LIKE SHUTUP!!!...ok im not saying i dont worry about it because i do , but what im saying is that , thats all people think about is when ya amritdhairi is your hairy !!!

I hope with guru jis kirpa and enough strength i will stop removing my facial hair, and be strong and be able to face society, i have started to stop so first step ey!

VAHEGURU JI KA KHALSA VAHEGURU JI KI FATEH !

[sher_panjabi]

A penji emailed me with a similar problem. She didn't want to shave and wax her Kesh but the social pressure of ladies in the Gurdwara sangat and pressure from her family made her question why she should follow Guru's Hukam (which she loves) but is causing her so much pain.

Here is my reply to her heart moving email where she expressed her love for Rehat but felt the pressure of manmukhs so much that she felt "Depressed" and wanted a quick solution to free her of her pain -- i.e. cut her hair.

Hi Penji

Your hair is given to you by Waheguru.  You have not put it there nor has any of the people telling you to cut it given it to you.  Akaal Purkh has given you this gift of hair.

What will happen if you cut it? 

If your granddad gave you a present.  You open the present and then shred the present to pieces, then how would your granddad feel?  How would the person feel who has given you the present?

Gurbaani says:

"naam hamaarai antarjaamee. naam hamaarai aavai kaamee. rom rom raviaa har naam. satgur poorai keeno daan. (1)... The Naam, the Name of the Lord, is the Inner-knower of my heart.  The Naam is so useful to me.  The Lord's Name permeates each and every hair of mine.  The Perfect True Guru has given me this gift. (1)" (Ang 1144)

It is of no concern to others whether they think you shud cut your hair or not.  It is your mind and body!  However, its not even ours!  Our mind, body and soul belong all to the Kartar (Creator).

"Tudh Aagai Ardaas Hamaari, Jee'o Pind Sabh Tera. K-ho Naanak Sabh Teri Vaddiaayee, Koyee Naa'o Naa Jaane Mera... my prayer is that my soul and body belong to You Waheguru.  Nanak says: All Glory belongs to You - nobody knows my name!"

Penji keep strong.  Remember you are Princess.  Our Father Guru Gobind Singh Ji has blessed his daughters with the name "Kaur" (princess) to remind them to be courageous, graceful and brave.  Penji we can either fall into vanity and the pressures of the world,  or we can follow the true path, the unchanging and path of peace, which is the path of the Guru.

Keep in Chardikala.  I advise that you reassess the Sangat (company) you have.  Do Sangat with those people who are like minded and spiritual people.  Just because someone is wearing a Dastaar or looks religious, doesn't mean that they are following their path truly inside.

Your dedication to Sikhi Saroop probably pricks people who have not got the courage to keep their own hair.  Jealousy is affects many people.  "Asankh Nindak Sir Karai Bhaar" - If i can't do it then person slanders those who are on the path of the truth.

Penji perhaps through your dedication, courage and respect for Guru's Rehat, you will inspire those around you, who at first may have felt threatened but seeing your steadfastness in keeping Guru's Hukam they realise that the Sikhs of Guru Sahib are living examples of what a Sikh is.

Hope that helps.

May Guru guide and support you.

Veer Manvir Singh

Dhan Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji, ang 1195:

bsMqu bwxI nwmdyau jI kIbasant baanee naamdeo jee kee

Basant, The Word Of Naam Dayv Jee:

<> siqgur pRswid ]

ik ounkaar sathigur prusaadh

One Universal Creator God. By The Grace Of The True Guru:

swihbu sMktvY syvku BjY ]

saahib sunkuttuvai saevuk bhujai

If the servant runs away when his master is in trouble,

icrMkwl n jIvY doaU kul ljY ]1]

chirunkaal n jeevai dhooo kul lujai

he will not have a long life, and he brings shame to all his family. ||1||

qyrI Bgiq n Cofau BwvY logu hsY ]

thaeree bhugath n shoddo bhaavai log husai

I shall not abandon devotional worship of You, O Lord, even if the people laugh at me.

crn kml myry hIAry bsYN ]1] rhwau ]

churun kumul maerae heearae busai

The Lord's Lotus Feet abide within my heart. ||1||Pause||

jYsy Apny Dnih pRwnI mrnu mWfY ]

jaisae apunae dhunehi praanee murun maaddai

The mortal will even die for the sake of his wealth;

qYsy sMq jnW rwm nwmu n CwfYN ]2]

thaisae sunth junaa raam naam n shaaddai

in the same way, the Saints do not forsake the Lord's Name. ||2||

gMgw gieAw godwvrI sMswr ky kwmw ]

gungaa gaeiaa godhaavuree sunsaar kae kaamaa

Pilgrimages to the Ganges, the Gaya and the Godawari are merely worldly affairs.

nwrwiexu supRsMn hoie q syvku nwmw ]3]1]

naaraaein suprusunn hoe th saevuk naamaa

If the Lord were totally pleased, then He would let Naam Dayv be His servant. ||3||1||

[Singh132]

Probably the most important post I've read on this topic...

Author: Sarbloh Kaur

Date: 05-06-05 09:12

>It was your shortsightedness. What else can we say?

Maybe it was OUR shortsightedness too. Maybe we didn't give her enough encouragement and reassurance, and maybe we didn't ever show her what faith is. I've never seen or known of any woman with more facial hair than myself, but I'm fortunate as I've been surrounded by Sangat that gave me encouragement and showed me what real faith is all about. There were times when I struggled and my Sikhi hung by a thread even finer than the hairs on my face. Without Sangat, I would surely have landed in the same boat as the bibi we are referring to in this thread. If this bibi was given the support I was given, I doubt she would have fallen.

Bhain Jee, if you're reading this, let me tell you, living with facial hair is not easy. I know first-hand that you've gone through hell. By walking through hell, I believe you could have ended up someplace wonderful, but instead, you've gone through hell only to end up in hell at the end of the day. It pains me to know and feel everything you've gone through, but it pains me even more to know that despite the distance you've come, your journey was in vain.

You went through so much, but you didn't learn from it. What was there to learn? You should have learned about Gursikhi pyaar, and you were in the best of all positions to learn about it. You should have learned that all those filled with false love have drifted away and distanced themselves from you. Who wants to be seen with a girl that looks like THAT?? Who wants to MARRY her?!?! Right? Right. You should have learned that. Those filled with Gursikhi pyaar have stuck by your side. They valued you for who you were and seemed to see everything about you except the hairs on your face.

Without facial hair as an "obstacle", once you find a guy to marry, ask yourself if he would have married you had you kept your Sikhi/facial hair intact. If, without your facial hair, you now suddenly receive marriage proposals, what will it show you? It will show you the very opposite of Gursikhi pyaar. It will show you that you're the same person simply encased in a different shell, yet your value will seem to magically soar. You will be valued for your outer appearance and nothing more. Will you be proud of that? It would make me hang my head in shame more than my facial hair ever did.

With facial hair, you had a guaranteed method of being sure the Singh you married was a Singh not just by name, but by the very essence Guru Sahib must have envisioned. It takes a lot to look past appearances and to look deeper to value a person on the inside before devaluing them from the outside. It takes even more to MARRY such a person. It takes a Gursikh, and you would have known that the Singh you married while you had facial hair was a Singh of the finest class.

If there is one Singh in a million who would gladly marry a Singhnee with facial hair, who says Guru Sahib wouldn't have worked it out for you? What is there that Guru Sahib can't give his Sikhs? If he can give a girl who removes her facial hair a good husband, as you probably expect he will, would he not have given a Singhnee who stays true to herself and to her Guru a good husband?

Regardless of what everyone says, the truth is, there are indeed very very few Singhs who would genuinely not mind marrying a girl with facial hair. None will openly state they would mind, but most would rather opt for the wife whose beauty everyone will praise rather than the one everyone will stare at and no one will call beautiful. The first thing anyone ever says about a new bride is that she is beautiful. Well, I'm certain no one will ever say that about me, but I don't mind. I would rather be called a Sikh than beautiful any day.

Bhain Jee, I ask you - with your facial hair removed, are you 100% happy with your appearance? I doubt it. I know girls who have removed their facial hair. They are still not satisfied. They are just as superficial and self-conscious as they were before. Without facial hair, they've simply found another "imperfection" to concentrate on. There's no end to the list of body parts one can mutilate and mould. Removal of facial hair is not the end of one's worries. It is just the end of one's Sikhi.

Bhain Jee, it's not too late. Guru Sahib is great. He is bakshanhaar. Go before the Punj Pyaaray and they can easily turn things around for you.

Lastly, know that if something is meant to be, it'll be. Whether you're completely hairless, or whether you're covered in hair from head to toe, if something is meant to happen, nothing can stop Guru Sahib from making it happen. You would have gotten married if you were meant to, even with your facial hair. Believe it. Bhain Jee, have strength! Have courage! Have faith! Everything is in Guru Sahib's hands.

http://www.tapoban.org/phorum/read.ppa?f=1&i=35931&t=35931

[lost girl]

thanks to everyone who has replied so far....and those who will be replying after I"ve posted this one :cool: keep inspiring me

I got a new one yesterday from my mom

She said we're meant to keep the kesh on our head, any other hair on our body is not necessary to keep. So in other words, its ok to do some "fashion" to look nice.

My parents don't even know what a kirpan is for

[Cksinghani]

I can understand wot u r going through fully. My best friend had really bad facial hair and was diagnosed with something cant remember the name, but it was genetic. The doctor told her to take the pill she is Amrit dharii and told the doctor that no as she did not want to take the pill at the age of 16. It wasa really hard time for her as she had grown upo in a sikh orientated family and allways went to all the programs and stuff. She felt like she was trapped because she could not control it. She came to a point in her life wjhere it had got to her so much that it was all she would ever go on about. The thing is wen your not inthat poition urself you sort of feel sorry for them but forget about it later. But that person has toi live with it. She used to do kirtan loads of paath and everything. But she felt so pressured the wierd thing was that she didntr feel pressured about the gore or society but she felt more pressured by the sikh people around her. She has now resorted to Electrolysis. After i read the post it just reminded me of her that without knowing it sometimes the sangat puts pressure on people aswell as society. She knows she did wrong by having electrolysis done but i think if she didnt have it done at that stage i dont think she would of stayed in sikhi any longer.

Thank you for letting me share this story with the Sangat.

[Degha Singh]

'Sir jaave ta jaave, mera Sikhi sidak na jaave'

"I pray that my head may be severed and lost but my Sikh zeal and faith must remain intact."

-Sikh proverb

Gurmukh rom rom Har Dhi-aavai.

The Gurmukh meditates on WaheGuru with each and every hair of the body.

Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji -Ang 941

[Guest Lohgarh Singh]

wjkk wjkf

penji, that that im doutin u or anytin, but u shud have enuff piare for ur guru, that u shudnt care wat ppl will say bout ur hair, u shud be proud of it, ppl always dis my keski, but i dnt mind it at all, cz im damn proud of it, apne these days want a flat guti, i want a big one, so my keski will be taller, so i tie my kes up with thik material! do u see what i mean?

so be proud of it, love ur guru to that extent

[Nidhi]

GuruFateh ji

Pretty new at this and almost similar story... Just not the tweezer part and ur mom. Educate her... if ur tough throw her tweezer away when she does that, or better just ignore her. Just believe in what ur doing! But seriously can't describe it better than this:

Guru Tegh Bahadur ji says: Like a dog`s tail, which will never straighten out, the mind will not change, no matter how many things are tried.

Like a dog`s tail, it cannot be straightened; it will not listen to what I tell it.

But it's easy, believe in it and be proud of being Guru ji's KAUR!! Im serious, look at all these GurSikh men, they must be having a much more difficult time than us girls! For us... just take it as the moustache is like some make-up God has put on our face, which we dont even need to remove, how easy could it get. It's natural beauty... I thought it would be difficult, but it's soo much easy if u really wanna do it! Same thing with becomming a veggie, even while living in such conditions! He loves u, u should show him that u also love him by obeying his Hukam. Its like a husbands/wife's relationship.

This is my recent experiences:

Very close relative: "Arhh Atleast u can bleach it". Once I wore a chunni like a dastaar for fun and this relative's like what are u doing? Uv gone made. And my uncle laughingly said: "I'll kill ya, if u gonna wear it".. Best friend: "U look ugly now, atleast bleach it. Eww u will get a unibrow soon... Aw now u can't do any sports or party"! Friend (guy): "New trend of looking like me (a man)". Cousin: "Right ppl have to try stuff, and eventually they get back to their old routine"! Brother: "Eww thats hair on ur upperlips". And Im like... Yehiii I look like a Sikhniii now... Guru ji's Kaur! Actually because of these ppl I get more courage not to wax coz they say "some day u'll get rid of it". Right! Guru ji will prove them wrong. I just wish for a bad summer!

Just take every task as an easy task, and ull get past this stage. Once ur past it, no one can stop u, Guru ji is with ya!

From GGSJ: "If u take one step, He will take millions towards you". From personal experience, its soo true.

And I guess thr's no compromise! Stay Strong!

Keep connected to this Sangat, they are so Chadi Kala ppl!!

Sorry for the bad English!

-dustofurfeet

[sher_panjabi]

Respect to Nidhi penji and other Sikh sisters!!

Dhan Guru Ke Bacheeyaa !

[singh4321]

penji im a female and i can understand wat u r goin through rite now

im not amritari but iwant to be but then my mom keeps on sayin how ur goin to get too much hair on your face

i noe some ppl who are amritari and still remove facial hair

i asked them arent u not suppose to remove facial hair and their like to me how god should've not gave women facial hair

now im in a difficult postion i have cut my hair i do wax,shave,thread

i want to be amritari if i am can i still remove my facial hair

plz someone help me out here aswell