parent trouble

[born_2b_sikh]

SATSRIAKAAL!!!

i am having parent trouble, my mom and dad are always shouting at me even if i dnt do anythin. i trust god and think what eva happens is ment to happen but its really gettin to me i spend most nights cryin i dno y but its reli upsettin me. i cant say anythin without them shouting at me, im scared incase they hit me . what cud i do to make them think better of me :doh:

[guruji's_student]

vaheguru ji ka khalsa vaheguru ji ki fateh ji

ermm im sorry to hear that....well its good that you have faith in vaheguru ji ... just do ardas...more naam simran that wil calm you down..and wil make you think clearer!

...also do more things your parents want you to do....

...if that doesn't help ask them why do you always shout at me etc?

i hope i helped..sorry if i didnt

vgjkk vgjkfateh x

[anjaan]

SATSRIAKAAL!!!

i am having parent trouble, my mom and dad are always shouting at me even if i dnt do anythin. i trust god and think what eva happens is ment to happen  but its really gettin to me i spend most nights cryin i dno y but its reli upsettin me. i cant say anythin without them shouting at me, im scared incase they hit me . what cud i do to make them think better of me  :doh:

105295[/snapback]

awww is sad to hear you are going through that, do you have brothers/sisters you can talk to or grandparents, aunts, uncles? try explain to them how you feel and see if they can talk to your parents

or try explaining how you feel to your parents

end of day hatred only breeds hatred and if they are going to like shout at you and be angry etc one day you may retaliate

[buddasingh]

Some of the following may or may not apply depending on what is actually going on.

Family’s often communicate on auto-pilot without even knowing what they are doing. Usually there is a pattern of communication that repeats itself. Often it involves two family members saying things and arguing in the same way over and over again. Each thinks they are right, but no one even realizes how they are really communicating, they are very comfortable letting the emotions go in their own home.

If your parents are shouting at you trip up the pattern to have them realize what they are doing. When they shout at you, give them your complete attention, eye contact and wait till they are finished and give them a very soft spoken, most understanding response including an apology to WHAT they are actually saying, NOT why they are shouting. If you are old enough or it is appropriate, each time also ask very gently and with humility that they not shout.

After you have addressed what they are shouting about, come back to them and ask genuinely if appropriate if you have addressed their concern to their satisfaction. You can effect your parents actions by your own reactions.

[Kizza Kaur]

Wjkk Wjkf

am having parent trouble, my mom and dad are always shouting at me even if i dnt do anythin. i trust god and think what eva happens is ment to happen but its really gettin to me i spend most nights cryin i dno y but its reli upsettin me. i cant say anythin without them shouting at me, im scared incase they hit me . what cud i do to make them think better of me

hey ma parents sound similar to urz, except its ma dad that shouts, not ma mum!!! more often than not, ppl shout or get overly agressive, wen they themselves are stressed about somet totally different to wat their shouting at u about. although they shudn tek their stresses out on u, this does hapen, as i no maself as ma dad duz it to me n ma bros n sistas!!!

the best ting to do wen their shouting at u, is to jus stay calm, n keep quiet, listen to wat their saying, even if u tink that wat they are saying is unfair. this will calm them down. if u chat back and mek an argument bak, their gna get even more vexed, even if ur trying to simply explian urself. this isnt fair i no, but it will diffuse the situation, and also with time, they will c that they have brought up a child that respects their parents, and hopefully this will give them more initiative to not shout or be violent wiv u.

above all u gta keep praying, not only for urself, but also pray that whatever stresses that ur parents may or may not have, will go quickly. this will mek both u n ur parents feel more calm and at peace with eachother.

also try doin more tings around the hous, and for ur parents, this means that u will spend more time wiv em, and hopefully bond more together, and this mite jus help u to undastand exactly wat it is that they are expecting of u. sumtymes parents jus assume that we kids know wat they expect of us, but this is not alwayz the case unfortunately!!!!

sory if this dnt help, my famly is going thru a tough time at th mo, so every1 is a lil catty with eachova too, but it helps to jus keep calm, n not chat back, n pray.

hope everting gets beta for ya i really do. chin up, n SMILE!!!! beta dayz are to come.

Wjkk Wjkf

[kaur03]

waheguru ji ka khalsa

waheguru ji ki fateh

Penji/veer..i no exactly how you feel..from personal experience i totally agree with kizza kaur and budhasingh..the best thing to do is listen to ur parents and not react although this is very hard, it does help the situation greatly..my dad used to give my brother alot of stick,however once he learned to listen and to not react my dad began to ease up...also kizza kaur penjis idea of helping with daily chores is a really good idea,i can say from personal experience it does help u and ur parents to bond,you both may learn alot about each which can help your relationship with them.....and try not to let it upset you...talk to friends,family about it it really helps..and dont forget guruji is always always there for you.....Really sorry if this doesnt help...

And kizza kaur penj.. hope everything becomes better with your family....

Bhul chuk maaf

waheguru ji ka khalsa

waheguru ji ki fateh

[Kizza Kaur]

Wjkk Wjkf

And kizza kaur penj.. hope everything becomes better with your family.... 

Thanx alot!!!! God bless ya

Wjkk Wjkf

[Guest Lohgarh Singh]

wjkk wjkf

hanji, kizza kaur penji, def knows wat she talkin bout, especially wid helpin out wid chours

y not tlk 2 the sant/giani at ur gurudwara? ye sure they will chip in sum where along the lien "gurudev mata, gurudev pita" but plz penji dnt get disheartend by this n not respect the sant anymore, this is the worst thing u can do, ive alredy made that mistake, n it kills.

me do sm paath 4 u :doh: