Life

[Rani]

There was a time when I believed that my life would be the same as any other. But time gave me the chance to see life in a different way, because pain and troubles make people stronger. God can’t be seen or heard, but he is still with you. The moments that you are lonely, the times you can’t see or hear god, at these times he gives you hope and shows you the right path.

There was a time when I loved a guy very much and we even made wedding plans. He told his parents about it and I told mine. My parents are divorced so in the beginning they were afraid of whether everything would be ok. The guy talked with my parents and they said yes to the rishta. In the beginning I was really afraid, because this guy could also be playing a game with me. But he made a kasam (waheguru di kasam) that he would marry me. After this promise I didn't doubt about him, because he had made this promise.

We had good times with ups and downs in the relationship. After a few months he stopped with school (he already had his bachelor) so I was beginning to search for work for him. After one month he got a job, for his job he had to do training in Ukraine. He was there for 5 weeks, in these 5 weeks I found out, that he drinks alcohol (when he’d said to me and my parents that he didn't drink). The other guys (colleagues) were cheating on there girlfriends and wife’s in Ukraine. I was very afraid that he would do that also to me. I didn't trust him, because before the trip he had promised me he wouldn’t drink or go to discos, but in Ukraine he broke the promises. After the 5 weeks he got a car from his work, my parents were really happy because he got a job and a car.

After this our relationship wasn’t the same anymore, and the troubles began. He was changed, I always said that I didn’t want to loose my virginity before marriage but after these weeks he was pushing me that I couldn't wait anymore. I am thankful that I didn't listen to him now, but at the time it was making me feeling not good because I felt couldn't make him happy.

The parents told me that they want a bahu (daughter in law) who lived with them and I had to give my salary to them (if I need some money, I can ask them). I agreed with this. In that time I lent him some money and he made the promise that he would give me the money back. And I just believed that.

My daddy went to their house to talk about the wedding day; he told them that we can get married here, but not in India because my parents are divorced. The guy told me that we can only get married in India and that I have to choose between my parents and him. I told him that I can't get married without my parents. After that he said to me that he needed some time to think, after which our relationship was over. At that time I was very sick (food poisoning) and was really weak. His parents told me that I have to forget him and that I don't get my money back. My parents were really angry when they heard about the money and I had to leave my house.

I had no choice and I went to my family and now I live there since May. Next month I get my own house. Nobody understands me; everybody is saying how can you be so stupid to lend him money! But I didn't steal from him and I didn't lie to him. I loved him and I thought he was a good guy.

Everyday is very hard for me, my mum did call me and I saw her also, she wanted to give me a hug when I disapproved she said to me that I could go. My community don't understand me; they think that parents have all the rights to do everything with their children. I can never get married again....nobody wants a girl who doesn't have parents and lives on there own...and a girl who already had a boyfriend.

I have made a decision that I don't want to marry now (iam still virginbut who will believe that?), because no one wants their son to be married to a girl like me...

The only one that I trust is God...

I'm a broken human.

I can't be fixed.

I will never be the same again.

No matter how and what you do to help me, you can't.

You can't help me unless you have walked in my shoes.

And even if you have, I still don't think you can understand.

I'm a scarred soul.

My innocence shattered.

I will never be repaired.

I can't go back in time and change it.

I can do my best to be normal yet I never will.

What changed me is now a part of me.

I can't erase what it did.

Don't tell me what I can do or should do.

That might work for you but it might not work for me.

I know, I should try.

I fear the unknown now.

I fear what I know.

The cloud I have, while it may fade, will never leave me.

It's just too strong to fight.

(Written by a friend of mine)

[SSM]

Waheguru ji ka khalsa Waheguru ji ki Fateh

There are women in the same situation, fixed the wedding date, in love with the man, only to later find out he was lying about this or that and then the wedding is off.

Some dont want to marry after that because they don't know who to trust, some can't marry again cos they dont know how.

But every day passes and if a person sits there watching it go by and they do nothing, thinking they cant do anything, then they are wasting THEIR life.

The man is gone, the parents have gone, you are left alone, make the most of what you have got left, there is no reason why you cant still marry, those women did. Take control of your life, you might not need anyones advice or think ppl dont understand, maybe they dont, but no one needs anyone to feel sorry for them, no one needs anyone to comfort them, what we need is to work at making ourselves happy.

[Rani]

I want to thank everybody for the support...

I am verry happy with my life...i got a job (a nice job) i am studying and i have the faith in god...

somethimes i am thinking that this all is just a test/exam of god...and i am lucky because he gives me so much...and the gives me the opportunity to test my knowledge..

a few months ago...i couldn't find a job...i stopped with my study...and today i have hope....

some of my family, friends are thinking that i am lucky and that i got everything...i dont have my parents, i have lost a dream...but god gives me a lot of more then that...

because i have Waheguru

But still i got moments that are not so easy...but i have to move on...because I want to feel the love of Waheguru and i want to share this feeling

:lol:

[SSM]

u know what bhenji all this we in love and dont know anything else does happen to ppl but all this falling in love with ppl is just a dream and thats what God is not. God is not a dream so lets fall in love with the one that IS true and will forever exist.

Love the ppl u meet in this life but dont let ur feelings/love for them take over.

Say Waheguru, make ur stay on this earth worthwhile. This human body aint us but use it, use the tongue to say Satnam and bhenji take advantage of what u got cos happiness doesnt come from what u got but what u make of it

[Barik]

~Waheguru~

[Rani]

u know what bhenji all this we in love and dont know anything else does happen to ppl but all this falling in love with ppl is just a dream and thats what God is not. God is not a dream so lets fall in love with the one that IS true and will forever exist.

Love the ppl u meet in this life but dont let ur feelings/love for them take over.

Say Waheguru, make ur stay on this earth worthwhile. This human body aint us but use it, use the tongue to say Satnam and bhenji take advantage of what u got cos  happiness doesnt come from what u got but what u make of it

130796[/snapback]

thats true

thats the reason that i want to share this everything with other people..

but a human needs a home to life ...so i am happy that i can work to have some money that i can pay my rent...

life isn't easy...but that's the reason that i love my life and Waheguru