Forginess/hurt

[Guest *]

i know this isnt sum sort of aginy aunt thing bt i have no 1 else to turn to..mm i reeli feel hurt n upset with some1...they did sumthing to me nt purposely bt wich cudnt b helped...they are one of my closest gursikh freinds..and now i cnt bring myself to talk 2 them ..even tho they have apologised n no that they hurt me..i dnt no wt 2 say to them..i feel if i dnt talk 2 them soon..my sikhi will suffer reeli much..i cnt even do my nitnem or concentrate on bani cuz of wt happened..bt i jus dnt no wt 2 do...please cn u help me sangat ji..i have no1 else to turn too..

Bull chukk muaff..

Daas..

[singhni84]

I understand what you're feeling, but at the same time, I feel that your Sikhi shouldn't depend so heavily on one person. People come and go from our lives, but our Sikhi is one thing that should remain steadfast through any hurdle.

This person has hurt you and you were justified in feeling hurt, but holding onto that pain will only further harm you. If they've apologised and you admit that it was unavoidable for the person to have done whatever they did, then it's wrong to still hold it against them. It's hard to let things go sometimes, but it really is best. Letting go doesn't mean you have to talk to them though. Sometimes avoiding the person and creating distance is better. If the person is of the opposite sex, then I very highly recommend that you indeed take the path of greatest distance from them. Your Sikhi really shouldn't depend on this one person such that when the person is gone, your Sikhi goes with him/her.

[Sinner]

VJKK VJKF

I understand what you're feeling, but at the same time, I feel that your Sikhi shouldn't depend so heavily on one person.  People come and go from our lives, but our Sikhi is one thing that should remain steadfast through any hurdle.

This person has hurt you and you were justified in feeling hurt, but holding onto that pain will only further harm you.  If they've apologised and you admit that it was unavoidable for the person to have done whatever they did, then it's wrong to still hold it against them.  It's hard to let things go sometimes, but it really is best.  Letting go doesn't mean you have to talk to them though.  Sometimes avoiding the person and creating distance is better.  If the person is of the opposite sex, then I very highly recommend that you indeed take the path of greatest distance from them.  Your Sikhi really shouldn't depend on this one person such that when the person is gone, your Sikhi goes with him/her.

145299[/snapback]

From what I’ve read, to state the obvious I don’t think you’ve fully forgiven their apology. If that’s the case, and you can’t get yourself round the hurt they’ve caused you, I’d suggest you give each other some space for a while. Let each of you calm down, and let things settle for a while.

Once things are settled, have a chat with them and you’ll be surprised of how well things are flowing.

Take care

[rsingh]

hmmm some times people are put in an impossible situation they just cant see any way out of but want to be out of it as its driving them crazy. They then do things that they realise latter will have far bigger repercussions. They apologies but don’t know what else to do they can’t turn back the clock. At the time they do what they think is right. It’s hard for them to especially when they are sincerely sorry. We all make mistakes but the person who let you down will no doubt feel really bad if they truly care.

Its a catch 22 situation you cant forgive them yet deep down you probably believe they made a genuine mistake. All one can do is turn to guroo. Tell them to do same. Do simran and dont give up amrit vela just do ardaas and listen to keertan. Being in sangat is massive boost go to next rainsbhai you can.

[Pheena]

i know this isnt sum sort of aginy aunt thing bt i have no 1 else to turn to..mm i reeli feel hurt n upset with some1...they did sumthing to me nt purposely bt wich cudnt b helped...they are one of my closest gursikh freinds..and now i cnt bring myself to talk 2 them ..even tho they have apologised n no that they hurt me..i dnt no wt 2 say to them..i feel if i dnt talk 2 them soon..my sikhi will suffer reeli much..i cnt even do my nitnem or concentrate on bani cuz of wt happened..bt i jus dnt no wt 2 do...please cn u help me sangat ji..i have no1 else to turn too..

Bull chukk muaff..

Daas..

144739[/snapback]

It seems he/she has accepted their error and apologized and the reason you cannot concentrate in your nitnem is because now it is you who needs to forgive them. Learn to forgive others, if you cannot forgive others then no one will forgive you. Learn to open your heart to Forgiveness and Compassion, rediret your pain into forgiveness.

If the God within you was hurt due to their error, then the God within them deserves your Forgiveness. God Forgivess, for he has give you this body time and time again, he has given you another life once more, even after the thousands of blunders we must have comitted. How many times we have thrown back the gifts he has given to us, in our ignorance we made many many errors, do you thing God held a grudge? Is the God you praise a Forgiving God? Do you not seek Forgiveness from God when you comit an error? If we don't learn to forgive, then how do we expect God to forgive us when we make a mistake?

This is but a small step in Forgiveness and to me this is an ideal situation where the other has realized their mistake and apologized. Not everyone will be apologetic. Most will not care or they will inflict harm intentionally be prepared for such people by learning to forgive now.

As spiritual seekers, we claim to be the chosen children of God. An unaspiring person who is wallowing in the pleasures of ignorance would never dare to claim God as his very own. But we dare to claim God as our very own, just because we have received an iota of God’s good qualities. One of God’s divine qualities is His Forgiveness. If God forgives us twenty-four hours a day, can we not forgive someone else for one second? If our Source has the capacity to do something in infinite measure, naturally we also should have the capacity to forgive or illumine others who have done something wrong, according to our own standard

"If we really want to love

we must learn how to forgive"

~Mother Teresa~

Humanity is never so beautiful as when praying for forgiveness, or else forgiving another. ~Jean Paul Richter~

[singhini1984]

waheguru ji kaa khalsa

waheguru ji kee fateh

sorry if i am repeating as i have not read all of the replys, however i can kind of understand where u are coming from as i have been in a similar situation myself.....without going in to to much detail the person that let me down was not only my closest friend but also a very close gursikh who i was very reliant on for my sikhi.....the best advice i can give you is sangat....realise maharaj is there for you.....not only will help you through your pain but he will also help you to forgive this person truley and help you build ur relationship once again...but all this takes time.....go into sangat meet more gursikhs....let them show you the path to maharaj.....all this will be old news in no tyme....u wnt even remember wat u faught ova....vaheguru

good luck

bhul chuk maaf

waheguru ji ka khalsa

waheguru ji kee fateh

[Guest *]

wjkk wjkf

thanx 4 all ur replies

bt singhini84 penji they are my onli sangat..

the onli reason i do my nitnem is cuz of them..wen i dnt talk 2 them i cnt do it 4 sum reason..

just