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Monkey In The Middle!

canadian_sikh

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canadian_sikh Rising Star

canadian_sikh

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wjkk wjkf

i feel like im playin a game of mnkey in the middle n im the monkey! an the game is not fun! :lol: mys 2 best friends who have been mine and each others best friends for very very long, ever since we wer very little, are in this huge fight. now ive been thinkin its gona blow over, for the past 2 months!but now im sik of hearin them complain and whine about each othwer! they keep ryin to bring me on their side. pray.gif please help me, their drivin me insabne and i dont want such a long and tight friendship to all of a sudden be over. just like tht. we are all 2 tight. i dont get it. who do i hang out with, whose side do i take. do i just let them hae each other now. they dont even agree to apologize. nonono.gif then they go around tellin how horrible the other 1 is! gossi.gif theyve been sooooooooo mean 2 each other and there acting like a bunch of little kids! slap.gif WAT DO I DOOOOOOOOO!

bhul chuk maaf,

wjkk wjkf

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chandanjit kaur Grand Master

chandanjit kaur

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wjkk wjkf

i feel like im playin a game of mnkey in the middle n im the monkey! an the game is not fun! :lol: mys 2 best friends who have been mine and each others best friends for very very long, ever since we wer very little, are in this huge fight. now ive been thinkin its gona blow over, for the past 2 months!but now im sik of hearin them complain and whine about each othwer! they keep ryin to bring me on their side. pray.gif please help me, their drivin me insabne and i dont want such a long and tight friendship to all of a sudden be over. just like tht. we are all 2 tight. i dont get it. who do i hang out with, whose side do i take. do i just let them hae each other now. they dont even agree to apologize. nonono.gif then they go around tellin how horrible the other 1 is! gossi.gif theyve been sooooooooo mean 2 each other and there acting like a bunch of little kids! slap.gif WAT DO I DOOOOOOOOO!

bhul chuk maaf,

wjkk wjkf

Fateh ji

well wat they fight bout?......you should really try to sort things out by askin each one why they're upset and wat could be possible solutions to this....i dunno myself.....i mean best friends......sorry buddy.....i dunno how to deal wid this stuff........LOL.......bhul chuk muaf

GURFATEH

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buddasingh Grand Master

buddasingh

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Amongst my friends, I also have 2 where the three of us are very close. There was a time period where about every 6 months to a year, the other two would stop talking to each other for a while. I was still in touch with both. Each time I got together with one of them, they would inevitably bring up how angry they were with the other. They would start speaking to me about the other, while acknowledging they really shouldn’t gossip.

I would tell each of them alone that they were being a bit unreasonable and perhaps prematurely judging the other. I would get each person to admit some tiny iota of fault. I would let then them both know that the other was admitting some fault. Hearing this, the next time each of them would admit fault or responsibility to a greater degree. Soon they were able to offer hesitant or conditional apologies through me. All of this was while they were not talking to each other.

With the passing of time and me telling each of them what a saint the other was, they eventually started talking to one another. Toward the end I would even be able to truthfully extract and pass compliments back and forth while they were not talking to each other. They would say something along the lines of “really x said that (complement) about me”?? Each of them likely felt a bit silly for harboring anger at that stage.

I did lead them through this, but felt comfortable because it was all truthful. Because their friendship was so strong, so was the feeling of betrayal and anger. There was a very good chance that they would have never talked again without intervention.

They don’t do this anymore and they are probably better friends with one another than with me as I’m busy elsewhere. They are probably having laughs once in a while at my expense cause that's the way 3 way friendships can be. But it doesn't concern me as I know that I ultimately have their deepest respect, trust and friendship for life.

If you take a similar approach be very sincere, sensitive, respectful and patient. Don’t treat it as something you have to do. Ultimately it is up to them to decide. Your role at a minimum is to ensure that you don’t acknowledge with your silence or otherwise anything bad said about either friend.

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canadian_sikh Rising Star

canadian_sikh

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wjkk wjkf

hi, buddasingh thnx, ur advice was fabulous. but the thing is tht they havnt been hangin out with each othwer for 2 months and now they are hangin out wth different peoples. but i dont wana let go of such an old an tite frendship tht easly. they basically think tht the otehr is too mean and evil and junk and ive told them tht u sound like a bunch of immature girls, not ur proper age. then theyll just ignore me. most of theuir arguements are becasue of misunderstandings but they wont listen. they r drivin me insaaane!!!! help,

bhul chuk maaf,

wjkk wjkf

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Guest HaRdKaUrWaRrIoRz

Guest HaRdKaUrWaRrIoRz

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wjkk wjkf

hi, buddasingh thnx, ur advice was fabulous. but the thing is tht they havnt been hangin out with each othwer for 2 months and now they are hangin out wth different peoples. but i dont wana let go of such an old an tite frendship tht easly. they basically think tht the otehr is too mean and evil and junk and ive told them tht u sound like a bunch of immature girls, not ur proper age. then theyll just ignore me. most of theuir arguements are becasue of misunderstandings but they wont listen. they r drivin me insaaane!!!! help,

bhul chuk maaf,

wjkk wjkf

remind themof the good old times and how u thought u'd always stick together, tell them howimportant the realtionship is to u...my friends do the same thing and me and my other friend just laff, wen things get outta hand we do a DR PHIL intervention thing (lol) but in the end its like we're sisters and no matta what we always have to be stuck together LOL.gif

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