Cnt Tke It Nemre

[Heera Singh]

kesha dee beadbi is anything to alter ur kesh... whether it be trimming.. cutting.. colouring.. or bleaching... anything to disrespect hair.. so it is NOT okay in Sikhi at all... bleaching also burns ur hair... there is no way around this hair issue... either u keep full respect of kesh.. or u don't.. plain and simple!

[Guest]

penji...i used to have the same prob but guru ji did his kirpa and i got ova it. dont worry guru ji will do his kirpa. dont feel tht ur not worthy. do ardass penji, guru ji will listen to u but yeah do it with luv and put 100% faith into it.

penji i went to a sikhi camp and the day before i did my eyebrowz and everythin to make myself look gud even tho i knew it was rong and where im goin is a sikhi camp and wha im doin is completly againt sikhi but i still did it...i just didnt have the guts to face socitey i guess. jus like u i wanted to "fit in" and make ppl accept me but u know wht penji u cant please everyone, u do one thing to please em and they will demand another...u bleach ur hair today to fit in and tommorrow u'll consider cuttin em coz everyone cutz their these dayz innit so how can they accept u when ur hair r not cut...and wha bout drinkin and smokin...hmmmmm...thaz considered kool so u gotta do tht to fit....wha bout havin sex...no normal bein is virgin nowadayz :mellow: ...dont u c where its goin penji...these thingz will eventually lead u to hell...sorry but thaz the truth...so dont become a ppl pleaser penji...dont live how ppl want u to live...live the way ur guru wants u to live...guru ji wants u to be happy penji and u will find tht happiness in his bani and simran not by doin those stupid actions which U think will give u happiness. our mat is limited penji we think 'oh this will make me happy' but thaz not the case only guru ji knowz whaz actually gonna make us happy...qU smrQu vfw myrI miq QorI rwm ] (You are great and all-powerful; my understanding is so inadequate, O Waheguru Ji.)...pwlih AikrqGnw pUrn idRsit qyrI rwm ] (You cherish even the ungrateful ones; Your Glance of Grace is perfect, Waheguru Ji.)

so penji jus do ardass fo himmat and guru ji will do his kirpa

siqguru sBnw dw Blw mnwiedw iqs dw burw ikau hoie ]

The True Guru wishes everyone well; how can anything bad happen to Him?

siqgur no jyhw ko ieCdw qyhw Plu pwey koie ]

As one feels towards the True Guru, so are the rewards he receives.

[jeenu]

heres this girl that is upset and feeling pressured and you guys are just making her feel worse. Honey, do what you want. If its going to make you feel better about yourself than do it. If you think its wrong than dont do it. you're not worthless.. you're valuable and even if you dont realise it, there are people that love you very very much. before you guys start telling me off.. understand this. this is my opinion and im am entitled to having this opinion, it will not make you any less sikh.

[Mehtab Singh]

heres this girl that is upset and feeling pressured and you guys are just making her feel worse.

By trying to help her out? How?

Honey, do what you want. If its going to make you feel better about yourself than do it.

Thats called manmat exactly.

you're not worthless.. you're valuable and even if you dont realise it, there are people that love you very very much.

Which is the reason she should maintain her dignity.

before you guys start telling me off.. understand this. this is my opinion and im am entitled to having this opinion, it will not make you any less sikh.

Lets let Gurujee decide that.

[SSM]

People lets not try to convince ourselves that we are the Panj Pyare.

Lets not say what will make her less sikh if it clearly states it will!

A little bit of common sense has not been granted to all I can see.

[raju123]

Dear sis,

Quote quote quote, everone's quote.

My best friend’s daughter thought her face was so bad that she wanted surgery, even though everyone said she looked ok. ( her jaw was misaligned from birth ) In her mind she was ugly, to the point she ended it.

My own story is I needed a nose job cos of a crash when I was very young I have lived my life alone with people looking twice but I have come to the conclusion and under standing why my parents never got me married when they were alive, now I am alone and I see it as I’ve done something wrong in my last life to make me live this life alone.

I guess looking back I wish had my parents took me to a doctor and got my face fixed. them maybe things would have been different.

So to all u people who say DON’T do it …………..

Its her life and at the end of the day she will have to live with it ..

Peace to all

[chandanjit kaur]

Waheguru ji ka Khalsa

Waheguru ji ki Fateh

facial hair......very hard to keep up wid wen it comes to bein a woman....panji.....bleaching,trimming,cuttin watever......i mean.....if u do not want to listen to guru ji.....then go on ahead and do dat to ur hair....but jus think......by doing this ur gonna be tellin guru ji....."guru ji u havent made me beautiful enuf and that i dun like da way u made my face so ima gonna make it perfect now"......do u really think guru ji will be happy wid this decision u make?......my mom wants me to get my upper lips done or sumthing....i jus sed no...cuz i like da awy guru ji made me....even though some people are like omg!get ur upper lips done watever watever.....i say no.......why care buot wat people think?.....if they dun like u da way u r......then so be it....guru ji luvs you da way u r and das all dat matters....HE feels proud how as a woman u facin da society in this way.....yet he wont be happy if u do this to ur facial hair....he will be disgraced.....why would we want to disgrace our father panji?......i dun wanna be harsh buddy so like this is jus my opinion ....dun mean no harm to anyone.....bhul chuk muaf ji..hope this helped!

Waheguru ji ka Khalsa

Waheguru ji ki Fateh

[Guest 1st post]

thanks 2 evry1 hu posted

im finding this sooo hard. ive always had MAJOR self esteem issues, n hating the way i look doesn't help AT ALL. i feel sooo ugly!!! this is really frustrating, i know im being selfish, thinking about myself n how i look. i know there are people that r alot worse off, but i still cant help it!!

i have some amazing sangat but the bibia bleach their hair. thats where im getting this influence from.

i have no other sangat, so leaving them isnt reli an option. im too weak so giving in is easy. people staring n making ignorant remarks doesnt help either, i get enough sh!t 4rm school n even mre wen i get hme 4rm my mum. (she thinks i should bleach it or remove it-she thinks her daughter is too ugly to go out in2 public wiv her)

i understand that its wrong, but i just want this desire to go away.

sometimes i care, sometimes i dont.

thanks agen 2 evry1 who posted, you cant all b wrong.

waheguroo jee ka khalsa, waheguroo jee kee fateh

[heart]

thanks 2 evry1 hu posted

im finding this sooo hard. ive always had MAJOR self esteem issues, n hating the way i look doesn't help AT ALL. i feel sooo ugly!!! this is really frustrating, i know im being selfish, thinking about myself n how i look. i know there are people that r alot worse off, but i still cant help it!!

i have some amazing sangat but the bibia bleach their hair. thats where im getting this influence from.

i have no other sangat, so leaving them isnt reli an option. im too weak so giving in is easy. people staring n making ignorant remarks doesnt help either, i get enough sh!t 4rm school n even mre wen i get hme 4rm my mum. (she thinks i should bleach it or remove it-she thinks her daughter is too ugly to go out in2 public wiv her)

i understand that its wrong, but i just want this desire to go away.

sometimes i care, sometimes i dont.

thanks agen 2 evry1 who posted, you cant all b wrong.

waheguroo jee ka khalsa, waheguroo jee kee fateh

Vahegurujeekakhalsa

Vahegurujeekeefateh

Bhainjee, what you wrote there flashed back some major memories in my mind.

Im not too old, not too young, but when i was litle (like 10-12), there were older bibia in the sangat, and they shaved thier arms, legs, did they eyebrows, upper lip, etc. Basically everything. I thought to myself when i was in junior high, and was being made fun of " hey all those bhainjee-a do it, why cant i", so thats the day in grade 7 when i first shaved my legs. It felt great i thought, i wore a skirt the next day, and everyone thought i looked great...

But then... why didnt i feel great? why didnt i think i looked great? There was something inside of me, just a feeling that it was wrong, but i couldnt figure out why. I felt so guilty, so horrible ... for as along as i can imagine..

And a few weeks later, i was introduced to sikhi, and my life changed for the better. I wont give you one long life story, takes too long haha:)

But my point is that, when you'll do it, you'll regret it inside you.. trust me on that one.

I know bhainjee's like you, who feel like you, and when they did it, they said it was the worst decision of their life, and they will never come close to doing it again.

Also, you said your mom does like going in public with you sometimes?

Same exact situation on my end bhainjee, but you know why do you need to worry? This is gurujee's doing. If she doesnt lke to go out with you, than that is hukham. If one day she says " ___ i dont want you to come with me today, becuase of ___ or ___" , you say " hunjee mum".. simple. Dont make fights, and there wont be fights.

Yet, never disrespect her for what she does :lol: she's still your mother, and gods' creation.

Bhainjee you are not weak, you are a strong singhnee waiting to unfold!

Gurujee puts most bibia in this situation, and for a lot of bibia its very hard living in this dark age of kaljug to not cut you hair, or do this, or do that beucase its not the norm. But you know, ive met people, not very many, but strongly believe that if you stay out of the norm and stick to what your religion says, and what your personal moral beliefs are, people will respect you much more. They will think " hey, she/he has guts to stand up for what she/he believs in. That takes courage and strength".

This is a test bhainjee.

P.s- All these posts written here, were written with love. Only to help you, but we cannot.

How can humans advise when we ourselves are trobouled.

Go to sri guru granth sahib jee. Gurujee will give you your answers.

Go to www.sikhnet.com-->(headding at top)Hukhamnamaa---->cyber hukhamnamaa--->take hukhamnamaaa---> read it

Bull chaak maaph karnee bhainjee.

These are just a bunch of thoughts that came to my head upon reading yur last post.

p.s- there are so many chardee kalaa bhainjee'a here so dont hesistate to msg them!

We alll are your sangat, and love you dearly.

Vahegurujeekakhalsa

Vahegurujeekeefateh

[Heera Singh]

heres this girl that is upset and feeling pressured and you guys are just making her feel worse. Honey, do what you want. If its going to make you feel better about yourself than do it. If you think its wrong than dont do it. you're not worthless.. you're valuable and even if you dont realise it, there are people that love you very very much. before you guys start telling me off.. understand this. this is my opinion and im am entitled to having this opinion, it will not make you any less sikh.

as another post said... i's funny 'cause u actually gave the exact definition of 'manmat'...

Honey, do what you want. If its going to make you feel better about yourself than do it.

obviously we all do things that we want... and we all have manmat... but doing somethin that is against sikhi is another thing... this IS a Sikh forum, and we give advice/suggestions according to gurmat/maryada (to the best of our ability)... some people are more straight up with their replies then others.. but you cannot come on here and be upset at us for giving this type of advice... I know many of us can't even understand what she's goin through because we have not experienced it for ourselves... but the advice and the comments that were givin were according to maryada/gurmat... so u can't really say nethin bout that..

yes it IS a very tough issue to deal with... bhenji, u KNOW in ur heart what is right and wrong... and there is something inside you that is telling u that doing that is wrong... to come here and ask a question such as this proves that u feel that it might be wrong... in the end, when u make ur decision, make sure ur 100% for that decision... in my opinion, even if u have the slightest feeling that it may be wrong, don't do it... 'cause u wouldn't wanna risk any sort of beadbi rite?

my 2 cents..

Chardi Kalaa!

Vaheguru Jee Ka Khalsa, Vaheguru Jee Kee Fateh!!