Any Last Suggestions Before I Cut My Hair

[singh2k]

I've posted this before and will post this topic again, just to see if there are any newby's that can give me some advice. I know it's just a waste of time, but I want to see if I can get any last suggestions before I cut my hair, which I have finally decided.

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In Sikhism, a Sikh should never cut his/her hair, pray accordingly, do good deeds, and rest in peace.

How many Sikh's do you know are actually Sikh's? Are they Sikh's or just an Image of one?

Let me introduce you to myself, I'm 18 years old, just moved to a different state far from my home town in America. I’m a Sikh with a turban and beard, never cut hair, raised in America from the start. However, last month, for the first time ever, the thought of getting a hair cut came to mind.

Now, the word hair cut would probably shock most of the Sikh's out there, before understanding anything the first thing that comes to mind is “THIS GUY IS WEAK ". I don’t blame anyone for thinking that way, because that is exactly what I used to say whenever a relative or friend of mines cut his hair.

All my life I've been a Sardar, went through all levels of high school being the quiet kid, being made fun of, people laughing and all kinds of things. I know I'm not the only one, and will never be the only one, but sometimes I think to myself, "Why the hell are Sikh’s in America, when we have to force ourselves to fit in?”

The reason most people would say is “To make money, and be successful!" right?

In my point of view it seems like these Sikh's (including me) are gaining self desire, doing things they would never imagine to do, being successful, making money and earning respect. But is this what Sikhism is all about? No (in my opinion), what is religion for? To be separated from the outside world that can corrupt you and your mind, and to have peace of mind all the time.

Whenever I hear on the news or stories about a Sikh getting shot, or tortured, I can’t stand it. Why do Sikh’s have to go through all this? I know most of the Gurus were tortured by Muslim empire leaders but is this going to keep on happening? I agree that we must educate people, but for what reason? God forbid a Sikh terrorist comes on news, what’s going to happen then? What I’m trying to say is, there will always be racism whether people are educated or not.

My brother, who told me that he was once in the same situation I am in, swore upon himself that he will never cut his hair and keep his religion no matter what anyone says (after he was beaten up by several kids after school). Most people would think he’s made the right decision by standing up for his religion, right?

I would say the same, if I was someone else. My brother is a great guy, with a nature like no one else. However, I don’t want to grow up to be like him in the future. I can easily tell that he feels uncomfortable in some way whenever we go out. He tries to stay away from outdoor activities, unless it’s a Sikhi event.

I have read many articles, asked many people, Sikh’s and Non-Sikh’s about my decision.

I also know of some Sardars that are successful, that actually fit in the crowd. But honestly, those Sardars that I know of aren’t Sikhi at all, besides the fact they have a turban on.

I know my words may sound ignorant, but this is exactly how I feel, I’m really lost. It’s stuck in my mind that once I cut my hair, I can fit in, not be the kid who is nervous, starred at from day to day. I think I can become more successful (business wise) and have more confident.

Sometimes I wish I can be a confident Sardar, one who represents all over the place with confidence. I try so hard, but I can be confident within my family and myself only. I can’t speak Punjabi or hindi.

I have spoken with my family about getting a hair cut, my mom couldn’t help me out, my brother told me that if I get a hair cut I would regret it as making the biggest mistake of my life, but whenever I look at him I regret being a Sikh. After speaking with everyone I felt I had no choice than to keep myself shut for the rest of my life.

My dad found out what was going on, he mentioned to me that I’m old enough to make my own decisions, and if I was to cut my hair, set a time period, do some research, and make sure it’s the right decision. After speaking with my dad I felt better. Now it’s all up to me.

Now it’s my decision… Do I want to end up like my brother? Or should I go along with what I feel is right?

They say God is within you no matter what happens. If God is in within me, then why do I hate myself so much?

I respect the Religion, I know by getting a hair cut, it is disrespectful to the Gurus, family and the Sikh society. But in my opinion, everyone has their own rights and wrong.

As long as you respect people, no matter who they are, you aren’t doing anything wrong. I know I won’t be showing any respect to the Guru’s by getting a hair cut, but if the Guru is in my heart, I don’t think appearance would be more important than reality.

I agree, a Sikh is not a Sikh without a turban. But a Sikh is not a Sikh either if it’s not in their heart to keep the turban. The turban doesn’t bring me any closer to God; it’s just a part of my identity that I have disliked all my life.

A friend told me that by getting a hair cut, you will be throwing away the Guru’s gift. I agree, but I don’t think the Guru would give you a gift which would make you suffer your life, especially in America.

I also agree on the fact that the turban has kept me away from many bad influences, such as drugs and bad company. But I feel the need to go through things and have experience with everything and decide what is good or not by myself. If I keep the turban and be isolated from the society all my life, I’ll just ruin my life (in my opinion). .

Sometimes I feel as if I never moved to America and just stayed in India so I didn’t have to go through all this.

I know I might be wrong, but it’s just the way I feel. The place where I live, its just hard being a Sikh. I never really realized why I am a Sikh, my parents said they never had the chance to teach me more about the religion when I was young because at that time they were new to the country and were working hard.

If I had said anything wrong, please forgive me, but in this situation I’m pretty lost and I think I should just end everything before it’s too late. Even though I am stubborn right now about this topic, it’s just the way I feel.

[Guest s133k_s1kh]

Your reposting the topic again and again is the biggest answer veera.. just feel it.. u already have the answer :D

[Bir_Ras]

The reason you are posting is that you know what you are about to do is morally wrong. In terms of sikhi, cutting of kesh is a kuret (cardinal sin) guru gobind singh ji said this himself. Without hair you are not a sikh. You are merely a cheap imposter. Sorry not a newbie to the site but its high time some one told you that you simply want to cut your then go for it, au revior.

[Akhoza]

Could you give us before and after pics :nihungsmile: , im not saying you should keep your hair since its your choice and i know how hard it is especially in the US where most of the people dont know what a Sikh is, atleast in the UK i dont feel any hostility from other communities. I would say more but Sikhs on this forum who are truely practising ones would get offended.

[Guest waheguruji]

your typical stupid dumb american why u wasting ur time on forum go do what u want

[Balait_da_Sher]

Closing this topic as i doubt if you were ever planning on listening to anyone's advice. Just do what you want to do, at the end of the day no one else is going to be answering for you in Guruji's court.