Am I Doomed?

[Guest a moni]

vjkk vjkf

okay, so im a moni i am often "lurking" on this forum (as guest) and lately ive been asking myself a lot of questions...

im "into" sikhi it has always been a great interest of mine, i love to learn about sikhi but i suppose im not good at implementing it

when i jap naam i feel great when i recite mool mantra it feels great, when i listen to paath it feels great, when i talk to God it feels brilliant! and overall i think these things have made me a better person, i dont think im as horrible as i used to be

recently i've come across posts on the forum which seem to imply a moni is a bad/party girl/hoe ... im not trying to big myself up in any way i just want u to know so that u do not judge what kind of girl i am when reading this post - i have been single for over 3 years - i only had one relationship (NOTHING like "that" went on) which was a mistake -which i have learnt from , i dont drink, nor do i eat meat becuase its creulty to animals! umm i dont attend gurdwara regularly because the place where my family go - tbh i dont really like the place id rather go to a gurdwara run according to SGPC guidelines.

my family is holding me back from sikhi - ( here i go making shitty excuses!) as in i doubt they would accept it they are punjabi and alot of people in my extended family are very much concerned with outward appearance. i once grew my eyebrows and pretended i couldnt be bothered to thread them - that i was too busy studying to worry about things like that - my mom and sister laughed at me!!! (in jest they didnt mean it a nasty way and probably didnt realise it offended me) they did the same when i didnt remove hair from my legs.. there was a time when i would remove it every week now i can go 4 months without touching it

i know that Guru Gobind Singh ji had said that a sikh shouldnt dare come before him without kesh ... and that makes me feel so bad .. does that mean that i shouldnt go before dhan dhan guru granth sahib ji maharaj also? (im not being rude i honestly need a answer) but isnt guru ji for evryone?

its not just the hair stuff , sometimes im scared of failing in my sikhi...what if i cant live up to it?

what if i fail as a khalsa...i guess atm i dont feel strong enough ... unfptunately my love for Waheguru is not that strng yet... it cant be if i wont chak amrit..is that right?.. i dont know :D

i know that during my life, with guru jis kirpa my sikhi will grow but say if i dont chak amrit and i die?! like would the naam i japped count? because ive also learnt that the "naam bank" only opens when u chak amrit??

i know im not a sikh yet, "without bani and rehit one cannot call themselves a sikh" Guru Gobind Singh, but is there any point me "acting" like one when it suits me ie. japping naam listening to kirtan, will that have any effect on my karam?

am i doomed carrying on life as i am?

bhul chuk maaf, im just a sinner in a world of saints...

vjkk vjkf

[Guest Papi]

soriT mhlw 5 ]

sorat(h) mehalaa 5 ||

Sorat'h, Fifth Mehla:

geI bhoVu bMdI CoVu inrMkwru duKdwrI ]

gee behorr ba(n)dhee shhorr nira(n)kaar dhukhadhaaree ||

The Restorer of what was taken away, the Liberator from captivity; the Formless Lord, the Destroyer of pain.

krmu n jwxw Drmu n jwxw loBI mwieAwDwrI ]

karam n jaanaa dhharam n jaanaa lobhee maaeiaadhhaaree ||

I do not know about karma and good deeds; I do not know about Dharma and righteous living. I am so greedy, chasing after Maya.

nwmu pirE Bgqu goivMd kw ieh rwKhu pYj qumwrI ]1]

naam pariou bhagath govi(n)dh kaa eih raakhahu paij thumaaree ||1||

I go by the name of God's devotee; please, save this honor of Yours. ||1||

hir jIau inmwixAw qU mwxu ]

har jeeo nimaaniaa thoo maan ||

O Dear Lord, You are the honor of the dishonored.

incIijAw cIj kry myrw goivMdu qyrI kudriq kau kurbwxu ] rhwau ]

nicheejiaa cheej karae maeraa govi(n)dh thaeree kudharath ko kurabaan || rehaao ||

You make the unworthy ones worthy, O my Lord of the Universe; I am a sacrifice to Your almighty creative power. ||Pause||

jYsw bwlku Bwie suBweI lK AprwD kmwvY ]

jaisaa baalak bhaae subhaaee lakh aparaadhh kamaavai ||

Like the child, innocently making thousands of mistakes

kir aupdysu iJVky bhu BwqI bhuiV ipqw gil lwvY ]

kar oupadhaes jhirrakae bahu bhaathee bahurr pithaa gal laavai ||

his father teaches him, and scolds him so many times, but still, he hugs him close in his embrace.

ipCly Aaugux bKis ley pRBu AwgY mwrig pwvY ]2]

pishhalae aougun bakhas leae prabh aagai maarag paavai ||2||

Please forgive my past actions, God, and place me on Your path for the future. ||2||

hir AMqrjwmI sB ibiD jwxY qw iksu pih AwiK suxweIAY ]

har a(n)tharajaamee sabh bidhh jaanai thaa kis pehi aakh sunaaeeai ||

The Lord, the Inner-knower, the Searcher of hearts, knows all about my state of mind; so who else should I go to and speak to?

khxY kQin n BIjY goibMdu hir BwvY pYj rKweIAY ]

kehanai kathhan n bheejai gobi(n)dh har bhaavai paij rakhaaeeai ||

The Lord, the Lord of the Universe, is not pleased by mere recitation of words; if it is pleasing to His Will, He preserves our honor.

Avr Et mY sglI dyKI iek qyrI Et rhweIAY ]3]

avar outt mai sagalee dhaekhee eik thaeree outt rehaaeeai ||3||

I have seen all other shelters, but Yours alone remains for me. ||3||

hoie dieAwlu ikrpwlu pRBu Twkuru Awpy suxY bynµqI ]

hoe dhaeiaal kirapaal prabh t(h)aakur aapae sunai baena(n)thee ||

Becoming kind and compassionate, God the Lord and Master Himself listens to my prayer.

pUrw sqguru myil imlwvY sB cUkY mn kI icMqI ]

pooraa sathagur mael milaavai sabh chookai man kee chi(n)thee ||

He unites me in Union with the Perfect True Guru, and all the cares and anxieties of my mind are dispelled.

hir hir nwmu AvKdu muiK pwieAw jn nwnk suiK vsMqI ]4]12]62]

har har naam avakhadh mukh paaeiaa jan naanak sukh vasa(n)thee ||4||12||62||

The Lord, Har, Har, has placed the medicine of the Naam into my mouth; servant Nanak abides in peace. ||4||12||62||

[Guest Guest]

Bhainji congratulations on your interest in Sikhi and Pyaar for Guru Ji. The answer to your question is yes Bhagti done now is valid however if you want to learn to Jap Naam, Naam can only be obtained from Satguru.

If you want to receive Naam, Gurbani speaks of it as an exchange. When you sacrifice your mind and body to Guru Sahib by taking Amrit, in exchange during the Amrit Sanchar you are blessed with Naam from Guru Sahib Himself in the form of the Panj. Only then after this point do you begin to Jap Naam.

Gurbani does not speak highly at all of those who have not received Naam (Gurmantar-Heenus, Nirgurey, etc) and by study of Gurbani it is obvious that those who have not received and have not done Bhagti on Naam cannot received salvation.

However with the attitude you have displayed in your post, I am sure you will eventually take Amrit and sacrifice yourself to Guru Sahib, for many people a difficult step is changing their appearance but once they have done so they realise it was a lot of fuss over nothing! When people are aware you are making a concerted effort to follow your faith and are changing your appearance for this reason I am sure they will be more understanding and supportive. There are much bigger challenges in life, then not waxing legs and threading eyebrows.

[Thug Life]

a moni -- u got more pyar 4 sikhi dan me :TH:

[Guest confuzed]

is it true dat the naam account is only opened when u amrit chaak? :D does that mean that people dat do paath before they amrit chaak does not count?

[Guest Papi]

^^ everything counts. doesn't matter when where how you do it :D

[Guest light]

heyy,

im also a moni n alot of what u said applies to me! including this

as in i doubt they would accept it they are punjabi and alot of people in my extended family are very much concerned with outward appearance. i once grew my eyebrows and pretended i couldnt be bothered to thread them - that i was too busy studying to worry about things like that - my mom and sister laughed at me!!! (in jest they didnt mean it a nasty way and probably didnt realise it offended me) they did the same when i didnt remove hair from my legs.. there was a time when i would remove it every week now i can go 4 months without touching it

lol. ive also made minor mistakes but im a completely different person now n would never go back to my old sinful ways. i think u realise how forgivving god is when u get into sikhi cuz u just feel so blessed to have been given this oppertunity to start again! n i truly do blieve that all the naam japping u do counts, however even iif it doesnt, im just glad its makin me a better person. i was told by a very religious and spiritual sant that it is the hair on the haid that should be kept- as this also retains the divine energy and heat that u get when u naam japp- not the facial hair which is unnatural on women- i was talking to a sikh from india recently and he told me he knew not a single amritdhari woman with facial hair in india- our western water is definilty different and it helps the hair products sell! lol. many many amritdhari women old and young in the uk and abroad do not keep their facial hair, im sure the gurus wouldnt ahve wanted their daughters to face such humiliation as waking around looking like an ape, as well as the fact that because the gurus got married it is our duty to also do so, and that may nbot be possible if ur growing a beard!!!! lol. but some people keep it out of choice and resepct to them for showing such committment and dedication against odds.

anyways its all a matter of what u believe and think. goodluck on ur journey.

[Guest Guest]

^^^^lolzzzzzz...penji...u seem a bit confused..

someone plz correct her...

[Tarrandeep Kaur]

heyy,

im also a moni n alot of what u said applies to me! including this

as in i doubt they would accept it they are punjabi and alot of people in my extended family are very much concerned with outward appearance. i once grew my eyebrows and pretended i couldnt be bothered to thread them - that i was too busy studying to worry about things like that - my mom and sister laughed at me!!! (in jest they didnt mean it a nasty way and probably didnt realise it offended me) they did the same when i didnt remove hair from my legs.. there was a time when i would remove it every week now i can go 4 months without touching it

lol. ive also made minor mistakes but im a completely different person now n would never go back to my old sinful ways. i think u realise how forgivving god is when u get into sikhi cuz u just feel so blessed to have been given this oppertunity to start again! n i truly do blieve that all the naam japping u do counts, however even iif it doesnt, im just glad its makin me a better person. i was told by a very religious and spiritual sant that it is the hair on the haid that should be kept- as this also retains the divine energy and heat that u get when u naam japp- not the facial hair which is unnatural on women- i was talking to a sikh from india recently and he told me he knew not a single amritdhari woman with facial hair in india- our western water is definilty different and it helps the hair products sell! lol. many many amritdhari women old and young in the uk and abroad do not keep their facial hair, im sure the gurus wouldnt ahve wanted their daughters to face such humiliation as waking around looking like an ape, as well as the fact that because the gurus got married it is our duty to also do so, and that may nbot be possible if ur growing a beard!!!! lol. but some people keep it out of choice and resepct to them for showing such committment and dedication against odds.

anyways its all a matter of what u believe and think. goodluck on ur journey.

penji you seem to be extremely confused. removing hair is a bujjar kurehit, full stop. it doesnt matter where the hair is from whether from the face or the head, hair is hair. and all hair must be kept in tact on the body.To abstain from the four Bajjar Kurehits, is the basic foundation of Sikhism. If you commit any of the Bajjar Kurehits you cannot be called a Sikh.

<<<<<im sure the gurus wouldnt ahve wanted their daughters to face such humiliation as waking around looking like an ape>>>>>>

errm nah, mahraj said without rehit we cannot be called his sikhs, how can you say mahraj would want his daughters to remove their beloved kes!!!

rom rom mih bsih murwir ||

On each and every hair, the Lord abides.

gurmuiK roim roim hir iDAwvY ||

The Gurmukh meditates on the Lord with every hair of his body.

mahraj himself resides on each and evry hair, when we japp naam, naam vibrates on evry hair. we cannot remove just one hair. If you think it is ok for women to remove their facial hair, then us bibia always say we want equality, we should say the singh can remove their dhara too.

Penji, dont worry about appearances, and getting married. I know singhnia wiv kes on their face who are happily married, we cannot control anything, mahraj will sort evrything out.

Just because their a few bibia who do remove their kes, doesnt make it right. Of course bodily hair is natural, we have it on our arms and legs obviously we are gonna have a bit on our face. Outwardly appearances are nothing, this body is false and will be reduced to dust in the end, we shouldnt get so caught up in looks.

Im sorry if i came across as harsh, but what you said really hurt me. All them bibia who are so strong out their, and againt all odds keep their hair, and japp naam........you are sayin their guru's would want them to remove their kes!!no way!!!

ok im really sorry if i sed nefink wrong, im not tryin 2 judge or belittle you, i just dont want other bibia on the forum reading your post and agreeing with it.

gurfateh jee

[Guest Guest]

i was talking to a sikh from india recently and he told me he knew not a single amritdhari woman with facial hair in india- our western water is definilty different and it helps the hair products sell! lol. many many amritdhari women old and young in the uk and abroad do not keep their facial hair, im sure the gurus wouldnt ahve wanted their daughters to face such humiliation as waking around looking like an ape, as well as the fact that because the gurus got married it is our duty to also do so, and that may nbot be possible if ur growing a beard!!!! lol. but some people keep it out of choice and resepct to them for showing such committment and dedication against odds.

Actually that is more because the majority of female "Amritdhari" youth in India do hair removal - whether you wish to remove your hair is a personal choice - but please do not try and convince others to break their Amrit/Rehat and do this same - this is often why there is hostility from practising Sikhs towards "moneh" which is one of the concerns that has been raised on this thread. It is perfectly normal to have a small amount of hair on the face (upper lip, etc) on a female. Granted, growing "a beard" may suggest a hormone balance or problem of some kind, but for the majority of women, "western water" certainly does not encourage excess hair growth.