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The Flame Of My Faith Is Dying Out


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Vaaheguroo Jee Kaa Khaalsaa Vaaheguroo Jee Kee Fateh

Dear Sangat ji,

I am suffering a bout of ill faith towards Vaaheguroo which i feel truly ashamed of. My faith and love for God is decreasing slowly and i don't want this to happen at all. I want the love and belief all of you have and since i don't its eating away at me. I have been trying to do amritvela but i can't focus properly as i can't meditate properly either as the love and beliefs have gone. I am beginning to drift away from what made me want to convert to sikhism. I wish i woke up the next day with such love you all have.

Regards,

Khalsa123

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It hasoccured over the last couple of days and i can't pinpoint what has made my change of thought. I have never been able to meditate properly but strove to wake up for amritvela and give it another shot. I can't explain why my faith has decreased but i think this hiding sikhi has gone on for too long, maybe god doesn't want me to be sikh? Maybe theres no God, why isn't he helping me?

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Bhai Sahib, to be able to meditate properly takes a while to condition yourself. It wont happen over nite. If it did we'd all be brahmgianis. Always have faith in the word. If you find it hard by yourslef, go to the gurdwara at amritvela( yes they are open) and do your medititating there with the sangat.

chatanga

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khalsa123,

don't let this affect you, even sadhus have bad days when they can't concentrate, don't worry about missing your nitnem, minor faults etc because you can fill these up by doing extra nitnem afterwards when your chardikalla again .... akaal knows its hard just make sure you don't do bajjar kurehat or go nastik, avoid bad sangat and just chill do what you know makes you chardikalla again............ i'm doin ardaas 4ya soon as i hit add reply

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bhai Khalsa123,

this isn't something unique happeneing to just you. Many, many people go through depressive phases when they start out on the path of sikhi. It happens to monays or nonpracticing kesadharis who are slightly into sikhi. It happens to fresh new amrithdaris. It happens to seasoned amritdharis.

The reason is that the combined force of kalyug+maya+panj mahabali+their smaller forces(aasa, mansa, chinta, eeerkha, davaish,etc) produce physical obsticles and "maansic"(those relating to the "man") obsticles. The feeling of being depressed, feeling like giving up sikhi, giving up faith in god, giving up love for Guruji, just feel like tossing everything away...all these are the work of the maansic attacks on the jeev. Essential you "feel" like not doing paath. Where does this "feeling' come from?? From your "man". Your "man" has an army after it trying to sway it to the adharmic direction.

When the thought arises in your "man" and you can accept it or decline it.

As you start out on the path of bhagati, you will have to constantly cancell out thoughts that you know are not what Guruji wants. Your "man" will tell you" yaar, take a break, life sucks, sikhi aint helping"...you can give a concious nod or ignore the thought.

I could go into more detail, but lack of time....

another reason saddness/depression attacks a sikh on the path of Guruji, is that he might have held presumptions/hopes (aasaa=keeping hopes on soemhting) that a certain amount of this or a certain behaviour would bear a certain fruit.

You have to become meek and not expect things to happen as you hoped. You feeling a cetain kind of anand from reading Gubani and doing seva is all in the hands of Guruji. Your job is to follow orders and keep going, no matter if one day you feel depressed and sad or the next you feel bursting with happiness.

But hey, we all are weak and prone to stumbling. Our love and sharda keeps going upa nd down. Only Guruji can do kirpa(a BIG concept!) and help us catch up to his mahaan Gursikhs.

Fight your decreasing love and faith with more seva, more simran, more kirtan, and more Gurbani.

Find a shabad that really speaks of your situation, memmorize it and repeat it ALLL day long...and see how you feel.

Here's a beautiful dharnaa shabd by Baba Ishar Singh ji Raasahibwale " mohe na visharo ji, mey jan tera mey jan tera" ....maybe someone can give the link to the actual recording. It's beautiful and speaks so well about asking vaheguru not to forsake me.

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Vaaheguroo Jee Kaa Khaalsaa Vaaheguroo Jee Kee Fateh

Dear Sangat ji,

I am suffering a bout of ill faith towards Vaaheguroo which i feel truly ashamed of. My faith and love for God is decreasing slowly and i don't want this to happen at all. I want the love and belief all of you have and since i don't its eating away at me. I have been trying to do amritvela but i can't focus properly as i can't meditate properly either as the love and beliefs have gone. I am beginning to drift away from what made me want to convert to sikhism. I wish i woke up the next day with such love you all have.

Regards,

Khalsa123

i totally agree with jai tegagng paaji, you have explained it very nicely. It does happen to all of us, when it happens to me i always keep saying to maharaj "please save me, kirpa karo" every minute i repeat it in my mind, because he is always listening, and gradually things get better, and of course repeating a shabad like "mohe na bisaro" also helps loads. if it helps, i'm also going through that "depression" at the moment, listening to katha of mahapursh also helps, even better if you can talk to them direct. But just remember its only ever a phase, things do get better

i will also do ardaas for you as well as myself, may vaheguru get us past this phase quickly because it seems so painful and life doesnt feel worth living.

vaheguru kirpa karan

vaheguru chit ave

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