Help Plz

[Guest dukk]

I dont know how to start

Basically last year in the beginning this girl contacted me via internet. Actually when I was in school this girl used to like me. She was 2 years younger than me. I knew that she used to look at me but i nver jnew about it then.

Now after about 8-9 years this girl found me out over the internet. When she found me out , she told all her story although indirectly that she used to like him . She even remembered my marks and stuff in school. She told that all thru these years she has searched for me everywhere but cudnt find me. In the beginning everything went fine. She would chat with me often. Her behavior was as if she liked me very much. All good things. So much respect. .Obviously i never had any feelings in the beginning. But slowly I begin to like her as well. But slowly i noticed that she started to talk less and less to me. When I asked, she told she was busy and stuff.But suddenly she totally stopped responding. I mailed her again and agaiin but no replies. Yesterday she talked to me and told me that her parents have committed her to a boy whom she has never seen. Now I asked her if she was happy, she told me it 's bcoz of parents (dad's)wishes. She even didnt tell her parents about her feelings as well. Now I feel devastated. i cant stop crying. I love her. I am regular member of the board and I know all of u will say that its all Moh Maya....do path ...but I really love her.The more Path I do , the more I cry. Actually I had an idea that she is probably committed for the past 6 months but i wasn't sure. I tried to forget her in last 6 months but more I tried the more i began to like her. Its only yesterday that she confirmed it.And she told me that she is gonna remain committed to him for 3-4 years and marry after then. When I asked her does she like me now, she says it does not matter now. I am not sure if she is happy as well. But I feel all shattered and devastated. I have been crying since yesterday and cannot study or concentrate on work

[Guest _Europe_]

I dont know how to start

Basically last year in the beginning this girl contacted me via internet. Actually when I was in school this girl used to like me. She was 2 years younger than me. I knew that she used to look at me but i nver jnew about it then.

Now after about 8-9 years this girl found me out over the internet. When she found me out , she told all her story although indirectly that she used to like him . She even remembered my marks and stuff in school. She told that all thru these years she has searched for me everywhere but cudnt find me. In the beginning everything went fine. She would chat with me often. Her behavior was as if she liked me very much. All good things. So much respect. .Obviously i never had any feelings in the beginning. But slowly I begin to like her as well. But slowly i noticed that she started to talk less and less to me. When I asked, she told she was busy and stuff.But suddenly she totally stopped responding. I mailed her again and agaiin but no replies. Yesterday she talked to me and told me that her parents have committed her to a boy whom she has never seen. Now I asked her if she was happy, she told me it 's bcoz of parents (dad's)wishes. She even didnt tell her parents about her feelings as well. Now I feel devastated. i cant stop crying. I love her. I am regular member of the board and I know all of u will say that its all Moh Maya....do path ...but I really love her.The more Path I do , the more I cry. Actually I had an idea that she is probably committed for the past 6 months but i wasn't sure. I tried to forget her in last 6 months but more I tried the more i began to like her. Its only yesterday that she confirmed it.And she told me that she is gonna remain committed to him for 3-4 years and marry after then. When I asked her does she like me now, she says it does not matter now. I am not sure if she is happy as well. But I feel all shattered and devastated. I have been crying since yesterday and cannot study or concentrate on work

Try to talk to the person once again and try to find a solution with her

[Guest Guest]

http://sikhitothemax.com/page.asp?ShabadID=3534

mÚ 5 ]

ma 5 ||

Fifth Mehla:

kwhy mn qU folqw hir mnsw pUrxhwru ]

kaahae man thoo ddolathaa har manasaa pooranehaar ||

Why do you waver, O my mind? The Lord is the Fulfiller of hopes and desires.

siqguru purKu iDAwie qU siB duK ivswrxhwru ]

sathigur purakh dhhiaae thoo sabh dhukh visaaranehaar ||

Meditate on the True Guru, the Primal Being; He is the Destroyer of all pains.

hir nwmw AwrwiD mn siB iklivK jwih ivkwr ]

har naamaa aaraadhh man sabh kilavikh jaahi vikaar ||

Worship and adore the Lord's Name, O my mind; all sins and corruption shall be washed away.

ijn kau pUrib iliKAw iqn rMgu lgw inrMkwr ]

jin ko poorab likhiaa thin ra(n)g lagaa nira(n)kaar ||

Those who are blessed with such pre-ordained destiny, are in love with the Formless Lord.

EnI CifAw mwieAw suAwvVw Dnu sMicAw nwmu Apwru ]

ounee shhaddiaa maaeiaa suaavarraa dhhan sa(n)chiaa naam apaar ||

They abandon the tastes of Maya, and gather in the infinite wealth of the Naam.

ATy phr iekqY ilvY mMnyin hukmu Apwru ]

at(h)ae pehar eikathai livai ma(n)naen hukam apaar ||

Twenty-four hours a day, they are lovingly absorbed in the One Lord; they surrender and accept the Will of the Infinite Lord.

jnu nwnku mMgY dwnu ieku dyhu drsu min ipAwru ]2]

jan naanak ma(n)gai dhaan eik dhaehu dharas man piaar ||2||

Servant Nanak begs for this one gift: please bless me, Lord, with the Blessed Vision of Your Darshan; my mind is in love with You. ||2||

[۹βkaur۹β]

im going to be an annyoing member who says the same again and again

erm, i know its easy said than done, but still. this just proves how worldy relationships are false and will leave us one day. our only true love is for akaal purakh.

whatever vaheguru does is for the best, and theres always a reason, however we never accept the truth because it seems harsh, however, accept bhanaa...it wasnt meant to be.... nobody should think in such a way anyway b4 marriage, but cuz u have, i think u should forget it,...... u cry?........ why cry over wordly stuff that will bring us more pain?

seperation from vaheguru is wayy worse.

swcI pRIiq hm qum isau jorI ]

saachee preeth ham thum sio joree ||

I am joined in true love with You, Lord.

qum isau joir Avr sMig qorI ]3]

thum sio jor avar sa(n)g thoree ||3||

do ardas, and ask for strength, and forget her.

hau nw Cofau kMq pwsrw ]

ho naa shhoddo ka(n)th paasaraa ||

I shall never leave my Husband Lord's side.

sdw rMgIlw lwlu ipAwrw eyhu mihMjw Awsrw ]1] rhwau ]

sadhaa ra(n)geelaa laal piaaraa eaehu mehi(n)jaa aasaraa ||1|| rehaao ||

My Beloved Lover is always and forever beautiful. He is my hope and inspiration. ||1||Pause||

erm, sorry if i was harsh in any way, pls 4give me, lifes too short to be crying over loveyy doveyy crap. sorry lol.

gurfateh

[wjkk wjkf]

Why love if losing hurts so much? We love to know that we are not alone.

The heart has its reasons which reason knows not of. Life is a quest and love a quarrel ...

Only God can help you my friend

[Hau Apraadhi]

im going to be an annyoing member who says the same again and again

erm, i know its easy said than done, but still. this just proves how worldy relationships are false and will leave us one day. our only true love is for akaal purakh.

whatever vaheguru does is for the best, and theres always a reason, however we never accept the truth because it seems harsh, however, accept bhanaa...it wasnt meant to be.... nobody should think in such a way anyway b4 marriage, but cuz u have, i think u should forget it,...... u cry?........ why cry over wordly stuff that will bring us more pain?

seperation from vaheguru is wayy worse.

swcI pRIiq hm qum isau jorI ]

saachee preeth ham thum sio joree ||

I am joined in true love with You, Lord.

qum isau joir Avr sMig qorI ]3]

thum sio jor avar sa(n)g thoree ||3||

do ardas, and ask for strength, and forget her.

hau nw Cofau kMq pwsrw ]

ho naa shhoddo ka(n)th paasaraa ||

I shall never leave my Husband Lord's side.

sdw rMgIlw lwlu ipAwrw eyhu mihMjw Awsrw ]1] rhwau ]

sadhaa ra(n)geelaa laal piaaraa eaehu mehi(n)jaa aasaraa ||1|| rehaao ||

My Beloved Lover is always and forever beautiful. He is my hope and inspiration. ||1||Pause||

erm, sorry if i was harsh in any way, pls 4give me, lifes too short to be crying over loveyy doveyy crap. sorry lol.

gurfateh

('dukk' jee, i REALLY urge you to read what i have to say)

yhhhh, nicely put penji, but there's so much more to say, and it looks to me as though maayaa is really badly after you 'dukk' because its making you think that not even baani is goin to help you. You're saying that we're all goin to tell you its moh maya coming after you and then you say 'but i love her'??? seriously, these are the feelings that maayaa is making you have, its making you think that this FAKE love for a person is more worth going for than the TRUE LOVE you should have for Vaaheguroo! You're thinking about the wrong LOVE, you should be crying to be with the ONE TRUE LOVE that you're living this life for...after millions of years you get this human life and you're wasting it over who? over maayaa.

ijnI AYsw hir nwmu n cyiqE sy kwhy jig Awey rwm rwjy ]

jinee aisaa har naam n chaethiou sae kaahae jag aaeae raam raajae ||

Those who have not kept the Lord's Name in their consciousness - why did they bother to come into the world, O Lord King?

iehu mwxs jnmu dulµBu hY nwm ibnw ibrQw sBu jwey ]

eihu maanas janam dhula(n)bh hai naam binaa birathhaa sabh jaaeae ||

It is so difficult to obtain this human incarnation, and without the Naam, it is all futile and useless.

huix vqY hir nwmu n bIijE AgY BuKw ikAw Kwey ]

hun vathai har naam n beejiou agai bhukhaa kiaa khaaeae ||

Now, in this most fortunate season, he does not plant the seed of the Lord's Name; what will the hungry soul eat, in the world hereafter?

mnmuKw no iPir jnmu hY nwnk hir Bwey ]2]

manamukhaa no fir janam hai naanak har bhaaeae ||2||

The self-willed manmukhs are born again and again. O Nanak, such is the Lord's Will. ||2||

You should be thinkin of vaaheguroo and saying things like...

qU cau sjx mYifAw fyeI issu auqwir ]

thoo cho sajan maiddiaa ddaeee sis outhaar ||

If You tell me to, O my Friend, I will cut off my head and give it to You.

nYx mihMjy qrsdy kid psI dIdwru ]1]

nain mehi(n)jae tharasadhae kadh pasee dheedhaar ||1||

My eyes long for You; when will I see Your Vision? ||1||

There is only ONE who your eyes should long for and cry to meet and be with forever... the above shabad is written in the raag of assaa, this Raag gives the listener the determination and ambition to put aside any excuses and to proceed with the necessary actions to achieve the aim. It generates feelings of passion and zeal to succeed and the energy generated from these feelings enables the listener to find the strength from within to achieve success, even when the achievement seems difficult. The determined mood of this Raag ensures that failure isn't an option and motivates the listener to be inspired.

I'm telling you now brother, forget about her, your story is like it has come to life out of a film... it's maayaa, this is how strong maayaa can be, it has made you think that this love is true and you need to get her back because you're gonna die without her, wel that's wrong. The only way you're truly gonna die is without your guru. Vaaheguroo is your life support...

pRB jI qU myry pRwn ADwrY ]

prabh jee thoo maerae praan adhhaarai ||

O Dear God, You are the Support of my breath of life.

nmskwr fMfauiq bMdnw Aink bwr jwau bwrY ]1] rhwau ]

namasakaar dda(n)ddouth ba(n)dhanaa anik baar jaao baarai ||1|| rehaao ||

I bow in humility and reverence to You; so many times, I am a sacrifice. ||1||Pause||

aUTq bYTq sovq jwgq iehu mnu quJih icqwrY ]

oot(h)ath bait(h)ath sovath jaagath eihu man thujhehi chithaarai ||

Sitting down, standing up, sleeping and waking, this mind thinks of You.

sUK dUK iesu mn kI ibrQw quJ hI AwgY swrY ]1]

sookh dhookh eis man kee birathhaa thujh hee aagai saarai ||1||

I describe to You my pleasure and pain, and the state of this mind. ||1||

qU myrI Et bl buiD Dnu qum hI qumih myrY prvwrY ]

thoo maeree outt bal budhh dhhan thum hee thumehi maerai paravaarai ||

You are my shelter and support, power, intellect and wealth; You are my family.

jo qum krhu soeI Bl hmrY pyiK nwnk suK crnwrY ]2]2]82]

jo thum karahu soee bhal hamarai paekh naanak sukh charanaarai ||2||2||82||

Whatever You do, I know that is good. Gazing upon Your Lotus Feet, Nanak is at peace. ||2||2||82||

He is youre EVERYTHING, he is all that you need in this life. The shabad above is wrtten in the raag of bilaaval, this shows beautification of the soul and happiness, it is showing you what you need to be happy.

Really sorry if i have offended you or anyone reading this... bhul chuk maaf karna, please forgive me...

vaaheguroo...

[Pheena]

It is easy to wake a man who is asleep, but to wake a man who is already awake, but pretends to be sleep is not an easy task. You know what you are feeling is MOH, yet you convince yourself that it is Love.

Love creates Freedom, Liberation, not Attachment or Possessiveness. Love her with freedom and enough Love to let her go because she is not yours and you are not hers. Countless lives we have attached ourselves to mortals and Lost, yet we knock on those same doors once more. Once more we open the wounds of past lives.

Whatever karma brought you together has run its course. You can continue to reach for her and further create more karma or you can begin to learn the lesson that is being taught to you of what attachment is. You can turn this experience into a negative one by sulking or you can create something very profound and positive experience out of this by examining the state of your mind objectively and comparing it to what the Guru has to say about our attachments that we hook ourselves into. Don't let this opportunity pass you by, use the tears to seek something more than her, something that does not die, something that will not get old, something that is ever-new and always there for you. Precious are your tears my friends, don't' waste them on someone who is but a fellow traveler on your journey. Her station has arrived, this is where she gets off, wish her well on her journey and send her off with love in your heart. But your journey must continue, look ahead to the possibilities this life is going to bring you.

The link below expresses a way that couldn't be put in a better way:

Hope this brings you some light on a dark day......also remember, This too will pass.

[Guest dukk]

I agree with all of u here

But one thing is that why did God bring her to my life last year. If only he was to separate us. I mean i never knew her before last year. If she hadnt come , life would have been usual for me.

Its bcoz she liked me , looked for me all those years, ultimately found me out and told her story although indirectly.

Whats more this girl marriage talks were going on since last year . Now she says that she fears that God will punish her for what she has done to me. I assured her he wont do bcoz its destiny. And that I will pray for her good.

But on the other hand I feel sad that this girl said that she wants to be frndz with me and a week has passed and she hasnt cared to check if her frnd is ok or not.

[Guest dukk]

I went thru all the replies again & again. I feel ur replies are so awesome and give me a lot of strength strength. I have nobody to tell my sad story bcoz nobody knows it except me and her.But gaian when I read all that Bani u posted, I start crying. Yesterday i started to listen to Asa Ki Vaar on youtube. My heart felt better, bt then this shabad came "

imlu myry pRIqmw jIau quDu ibnu KrI inmwxI ]

mil maerae preethamaa jeeo thudhh bin kharee nimaanee ||

Meet me, O my Dear Beloved. Without You, I am totally dishonored.

mY nYxI nId n AwvY jIau BwvY AMnu n pwxI ]

mai nainee needh n aavai jeeo bhaavai a(n)n n paanee ||

Sleep does not come to my eyes, and I have no desire for food or water.

pwxI AMnu n BwvY mrIAY hwvY ibnu ipr ikau suKu pweIAY ]

paanee a(n)n n bhaavai mareeai haavai bin pir kio sukh paaeeai ||

I have no desire for food or water, and I am dying from the pain of separation. Without my Husband Lord, how can I find peace?

gur AwgY krau ibnµqI jy gur BwvY ijau imlY iqvY imlweIAY ]

gur aagai karo bina(n)thee jae gur bhaavai jio milai thivai milaaeeai ||

I offer my prayers to the Guru; if it pleases the Guru, He shall unite me with Himself.

Awpy myil ley suKdwqw Awip imilAw Gir Awey ]

aapae mael leae sukhadhaathaa aap miliaa ghar aaeae ||

The Giver of peace has united me with Himself; He Himself has come to my home to meet me.

nwnk kwmix sdw suhwgix nw ipru mrY n jwey ]4]2]

naanak kaaman sadhaa suhaagan naa pir marai n jaaeae ||4||2||

O Nanak, the soul-bride is forever the Lord's favorite wife; her Husband Lord does not die, and He shall never leave. ||4||2||

After I heard this, I began to cry more and more. I cried like a baby.

It has been a week, and I still cry........and I ask God why did he make me meet her if at all we had to separate? I mean I didnt even know her remember her b4 the last year.

God introduced her to my life himself. And he took her away. Was it just a test? Or is it a punishment?

Also since last 7-8 months I have gone thru a career crisis as well? God initially blessed me with a very good degree from a very reputed college. But for past 1 year my studies have gone haywire.

Also this girl told me that the talks of her marriage were going on for some time...........and she didnt tell me then .....its like 8-9 months back? Had she told me, I feel it wud have been a lot easier

And what hurts me is she hasnt even cared back once to ask me how I am? Like I have been crying everyday for hrs for last week and she told me that she would be my frnd from now, she would support me. But she isnt looking back at me at all.. I dont think she is in such an acute sadness/depression as am I bcoz she has known this for around 6 months around. What makes me feel sad that she isnt extending the support she shud as a frnd which she promised?

Waheguru Help me

[Laadli Fauj]

as Guruka singh said in the video posted by Pheena, its karma, ur living out ur karam from this life and previous lives, there's no stopping it. u can accept it as divine hukam, or u can hate god for making u suffer, ur choice

i hope u pick the first...

your attachment to this girl is scrooing u up man, call at love if u will, i'll call it moh

this is a beautiful shabad that i foud browsing around a while ago, it will surely help:

http://sikhitothemax.com/page.asp?ShabadID=3533

please reflect on that shabad, read it a few times over and try to absorb it

post on ur wall, i find that helps a lot