Am I A Sikh, Or Am I A Disgrace?

[Jasmin.x]

I am a 'sikh' girl (I put that in commas because I dont know if I can call myself that anymore) but over the last few months I have been really getting into Sikhism.

I am still very young though so I still do not have a good understanding of things.

For example, I don't really understand what 'bhul chuck maaf' (if I spelled that right) means at all =/

I've been despertly trying to find out more about Sikhism though, mostly through these forums, but I still have many unquestioned answers.

I don't want to go through the whole list of things so I'll just try to summarise it.

I am a girl, I live in England. I wear makeup and jewelerry (I didn't know that wasn;t allowed in Sikhism until yesterday) and I also shave my legs and get my eyebrows done.

Somewhere along the line I'm hoping to get my nose pierced and a tattoo (the tattoo is actually very meaningful to me, please don't critisize it too much)

That is why I've titled this topic as 'Am I A Disgrace?'...Am I? =/

My question is (and I'm writing this with tears in my eyes) am I still a Sikh? Am I still worthy of Waheguru?

I am a good person, too good sometimes (I'm not trying to sound big headed)

I do so much for other people, I make my life hell just so the ones I love are happy.

I am very charitable, anytime I see someone who needs my money more than I do I dont hesitate at all to empty out my purse.

I respect and love my family and friends with all my heart.

I try to go to the Gurdwara and listen to the hymns (I'm afraid I have to call them that because I dont know the propr name for them...I am learning slowly though)

My skills in punjabi are quite weak in all honesty, that is why I can't read Shiri Guru Granth Sahib for myself to get the answers.

I stand up for Sikhism, I never tolerate a single bad word against it. I am always the first one to stand up for it, no matter who it may be too.

There was an incident in school when I was asked to remove my khanda from around my neck (I don't know if I should still wear it or not anymore...) but I refused. I go to a Catholic school and I brough up how no one tells a Christian to remove their crucifix and so on. I could have been thrown out of the school but I didn't care because I believed in what i was fighting for.

I love Waheguru, I really do. I know alot of people will say 'If you love Waheguru then you will give up all those wrong doings' but my answer is that I can't because I still have another question on my mind.

Although I may be 'bad' on the outside, I know I have a good heart. For the longest time I believed that Wageuru was proud of me. I've been through so much crap in life and I believed that He was proud of who I was...that was before I started looking into things and it crushed me

So that is my question; Am I worthy of Waheguru?

Can I truly call myself a Sikh?

It was only yesterday in school my two friends (both Catholic) were asking me about my religion. I told them everything I knew and all the new things I had learnt and they said to me, jokingly of course, 'But you're wearing makeup so that doesn't make you a Sikh!'

I laughed at it with them, but inside it destroyed me.

I live a good life, I always have done and I always will

I always love others before I love myself

I hate no one

I forgive people

I try not to get angry with others and stay calm and patient with them

I want to feel like I AM part of Sikhism and I want to feel as if Waheguru IS proud of who I am even though I shape my eyebrows etc.

So someone, please answer my question

Am I still worthy of Him?

[TejiKaur]

gurufateh g

my dear dear dear sister dont cry

ur not a bad person and spiritually we r all in different places

but ill tell u this much UR HEART IS IN THE RIGHT PLACE BECAUSE WHEN IT COMES TO BEING A SIKH

GURU JI SAYS-

jin prem kiyo thin he prabh paiyo

and puran prem parteet sajai

the first step to God is love from love comes bani from bani comes rehit from bani and rehit come shakti

dont worry just keep the prayers all of us r bad Sikhs compared to the true khalsa but we r learning

remember who ur guru is

the guru than turned baba banda bairagi into baba banda singh bhadur

that turned the chor (thief) into the richous Baba Bidhi Chand

baliharee gur apne diuhari sad // jin manas te devti kieeay kart na lagee //

i am a sacrifice to my guru over and over again who made angels of ordinary beings instanty

my sweet sister dont worry just keep up the gurbani and u will reach perfection

and remember nooone is bad n noone can judge u

[Singh23]

Bhen ji (sister),

I live a good life, I always have done and I always will

I always love others before I love myself

I hate no one

I forgive people

I try not to get angry with others and stay calm and patient with them

you have the qualities that make a sikh, you just have to push that bit harder and let go of everything but your sikhi.

I want to feel like I AM part of Sikhism and I want to feel as if Waheguru IS proud of who I am

You are apart of sikhism, you are on your path...now the reason you feel torn is because you've reached a crossroad

(one i have been stuck at for the last 3 years-its hasn't been fun)

You've reached a place where your learning enough to know that you can't continue on without sacrificing those worldly attachements that seem so dear to you.

You have to decide now what is more important to you, those other trivial, worldy things, or YOUR GURU. If you want to make your Guru proud. Decide now what you will do.

My skills in punjabi are quite weak in all honesty, that is why I can't read Shiri Guru Granth Sahib for myself to get the answers.

Learn to read gurmukhi and start reading bani. Start reading bani and soon you will realize you don't need other trivial stuff. All you need is Guru Ji (which i think you already realize).

It's a hard path but has many rewards, try your best, and learn bani! even do it in english at first if you can't read gurmukhi!

I myself am on my path and gave you some of the little knowledge I have.

Bull chuck maaf (forgive me for any mistakes)

[Guest Guest]

Hi Jasmin, firstly there is no Good or Bad, thinking it makes it so.

Just because you shave your legs and your eyebrows does not make you a bad person. The commandments of a KHALSA are not to remove hair, but im guessing you are amritshak yet, so this is not an issue.

My sister who was never into sikhi was put off because she thought that she could only learn gurbani if she didn't cut her hair. What a misconception us sikhs have put into youth like you. You sound a child of Nanak from the way you give and help others, and all I can say is never stop that, that is true sewa. Most people think sewa can only be done in the GUrudwara, but feeding the homeless is one of the best acts we can do, so you are on the right path.

I started not knowing anything about sikh, I used to shave my beard, was extremely insecure about my turban and slowly slowly with Gurus kirpa I began visiting sights like www.mrsikhnet.con and www.sikhnet.com and I can honestly say they have changed my life. Check out:

http://www.mrsikhnet.com/index.php/audio-video-archive/

and press "western non-traditional" and listen to some of the kirtan on there, it will absolutely blow your mind full of bliss and peace.

Anyway just to say don't shed any tears because you have begun the right path. DONT PAY ATTENTION TO THOSE PEOPLE WHO SAY YOU ARE NOT A SIKH BECAUSE YOU WEAR JEWELLERY: HERE'S A VIDEO FOR YOU PEOPLE:

LEarn bani and just stay on this path and continue serving. Waheguru is worthy for everyone. Just because you cut your hair does not mean waheguru does not love you. If that was the case, then all buddhists, hindus, christians, jews and muslims would never experience God. Keep your love for waheguru in your heart, and at the same time, when you get time, read stories of your ancestors, it will teach you about their undying love for God and the panth.

Stay on the path, you are very fortunate.....

God bless

[Jasmin.x]

Bhen ji (sister),

I live a good life, I always have done and I always will

I always love others before I love myself

I hate no one

I forgive people

I try not to get angry with others and stay calm and patient with them

you have the qualities that make a sikh, you just have to push that bit harder and let go of everything but your sikhi.

I want to feel like I AM part of Sikhism and I want to feel as if Waheguru IS proud of who I am

You are apart of sikhism, you are on your path...now the reason you feel torn is because you've reached a crossroad

(one i have been stuck at for the last 3 years-its hasn't been fun)

You've reached a place where your learning enough to know that you can't continue on without sacrificing those worldly attachements that seem so dear to you.

You have to decide now what is more important to you, those other trivial, worldy things, or YOUR GURU. If you want to make your Guru proud. Decide now what you will do.

My skills in punjabi are quite weak in all honesty, that is why I can't read Shiri Guru Granth Sahib for myself to get the answers.

Learn to read gurmukhi and start reading bani. Start reading bani and soon you will realize you don't need other trivial stuff. All you need is Guru Ji (which i think you already realize).

It's a hard path but has many rewards, try your best, and learn bani! even do it in english at first if you can't read gurmukhi!

I myself am on my path and gave you some of the little knowledge I have.

Bull chuck maaf (forgive me for any mistakes)

I dont know how to quote or anything, I only joined yesterday, please bare with me.

You said:

You have to decide now what is more important to you, those other trivial, worldy things, or YOUR GURU. If you want to make your Guru proud. Decide now what you will do.

That's basically what my problem is based around.

Do you really, 100%, have to give up those things in order for Guru Ji to be proud of you?

I ask that because...well, I'm only 15 year old and this is really hard for me.

I don't think Im as brave and courageous as those who give up those things and I feel that if Im not then Guru Ji will not be proud of me from what I am learning.

Is it not enough for Him to be proud me for who i am inside and for my heart?

Im sorry if I sound selfish...I'm just so confused

[Samadhi]

You certainly have the passion to learn about Sikhism, and i commend you for that. What I recommend is don’t listen to other when they try to put you down, they do that out of their own ego.

Just continue to learn and do simran (meditate). Their are plenty of sites where you can look into sikhi, use them. Don’t think your going to become perfect Sikh overnight, no one on this forum is perfect steady yourself.

Most people on this forum where probably like you at one point, I know I was so don’t worry

[Guest =)]

aw this made me smile, you're blessed! =)

just take it slow, and at a pace you are comfortable with. don't rush yourself, your strength will gradually increase!

maybe start by learning about sikh history, all the sacrifices which have been made just so that we can be here today..and then listening to JapJi Sahib, a short morning prayer, when you wake up..there are countless videos on youtube so you can read the translations as you go along, just search for them =)

also, learning punjabi is important, because we need to be able to read Gurbani for ourselves, in order to understand what Guru Jee is telling us! so try to join a punjabi class or get someone to teach you how to read and write punjabi..

sikhi isn't about do's and dont's..we can't just say "dont wear makeup because its wrong fullstop"..what we should be doing is questioning our actions..why do i do this? is this beneficial for me? how will this help me progress spiritually? am i doing this because society tells me to, or because my Guru tells me to? whose approval is more important to me?

if you ever have any questions, no matter how big or small..we're all here to help as best as we can!

"take one step towards Guru Maharaaj, and they will take thousands of steps to welcome you"

[Singh23]

I ask that because...well, I'm only 15 year old and this is really hard for me.

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!!!!

Bhenji!!! That is the exact same time I started asking the same questions!!!! To tell you the truth that was only 3 years ago for me. and to be honest I still ask those questions.... Why do i have to do this? why do i have to do that?

Also the reason I started asking those questions was b/c I had to do a presentation for geography and thought I'll do it on Sikhism, it will be so easy.....but no way was it easy.

Because I looked at what I learned from researching and my life up until that point and I felt like crap. Even now I'm getting kind of depressed thinking about this stuff because at this point I still haven't been able to get through all the bad habits, and haven't been able to give myself up to Guru Sahib 100%.

Most people on this forum where probably like you at one point, I know I was so don’t worry

Samadhi is 100% right. This is where everyone one starts off (from what I know).

The KEY THING is don't think your losing anything, UNDERSTAND that you are GAINING something.

I don't think Im as brave and courageous as those who give up those things and I feel that if Im not then Guru Ji will not be proud of me from what I am learning.

To be honest I feel the exact same way alot of the time. Like sure over the last three years I've developed an ok understanding of bani. I've learned to read Gurmukhi, but I haven't been able to throw off some of the worst habits I picked up in my youth.

So does that mean Guru sahib doesn't love me? I don't think so.

I think if you and me are making an honest effort to better ourselves than Guru sahib is proud of us. Because sure we aren't able to get out of these things right away. But the fact that we're struggling through it, toughing it out, pushing with all our might. I think thats what Guru sahib is happy about.

But if we say, well if Guru sahib doesn't love me if I can't do it all, why make the effort? Thats where we fail.

How can we expect Guru sahib to help us when we don't make an effort to please him, right?

One thing you have to understand is that just by causing you to ask these questions , I think it means Guru Sahib is happy with you. The fact that your making an effort means Guru sahib wants you to become closer to him. Just keep making an effort and Guru Sahib will make these worries go away, they will seem like trivial things.

I just want to say that I'm giving advice only through what I have experienced, and my limited knowledge. Remember Bhenji, I'm almost exactly where you are, I haven't taken amrit but I'm struggling to get there, and that's the key thing, that we keep struggling and fighting, but with an effort. So if your not ready to take your make up off right away, try using less and less, and I STRONGLY suggest you start learning gurmukhi, your age is the exact same time I started learning it.

You're not alone!

[harjit nanua]

Hi,

Sikhism has always preached inner beauty. Meaning, your heart.

The most important is the TRUTH. The truth meaning, you must acknowlage that there is one God and it is His wish for everything (you writting and wanting to get close to God is because of His will ).

So, that done, we have to love God... How? At first, the same principles like how you love your parents, wife, husband, children. Care... love and all. After a while, the love just grows and grows. You will be eager to listen to hymns, and all the time you just think about God. Walking down the street and you claim how beautiful God made things. But that will be after some time.

Some rules to get close to God.

1. Know the Truth

2. Pray on God. Meaning, sit for a few minutes and think about Him. Say Waheguru or even God. See, the most important thing is that u think of Him. During this, you can comtemplate on His greatness. If your mind runs, chill... It's hard, but you will get used to it.

3. Be satisfied of everyting and say it His blessings. Like, walking down in London, you lose your wallet, no money, hungry and raining. And you manage to collect some quid and but a small biiscuit. Thank God for it. It is a blessing.

4. Satsang... as much as you can....

5. The last is to read banee (hymns) and understand them... the easiest is to get translations from the net... Otherwise you can message me or anyone here for it...

I would recommend for Love _ SHABAD HAZAREY...

With this...give it some time (you have the seeds, now grow them..with time).. and trust me, life willbe amazing.

Regards..

[Guest Guest]

Dear sister,

You have already taken first step towards the Guru, congratulations. This realisation welling up within you is only because of Guru's grace. You are blessed, sister. May I become the dust of the feet of those who're blessed.

"I laughed at it with them, but inside it destroyed me.

I live a good life, I always have done and I always will

I always love others before I love myself

I hate no one

I forgive people

I try not to get angry with others and stay calm and patient with them"

See! Love, forgiveness towards all are the most beautiful virtues to possess according to Guru Nanak - and you call yourself bad? You are a beautiful person with a beautiful heart, my sister. Everyone, even the MOST sinful of the sinners, are forgiven by Waheguru.

Things may appear to be hard when you try to begin - where to start, where to not start?! We all go through this in our lives. We're all here to find a meaning in life, and I repeat - you have taken the first step. And with Guru's grace, at a young age. To begin with, try reading an English translation of the Japji Sahib. It is the essence of the teachings of the Gurus. It is simple to read and reveals amazing truths of everyday life. Besides that, be friends with the sangat around your place or online, whichever is suitable. Some words from Japji: "What words can we speak to evoke His Love? In the Amrit Velaa, the ambrosial hours before dawn, chant the True Name, and contemplate His Glorious Greatness."

It is a strange thing that I've heard - jewellery and make up not being allowed - I wonder why Sikhs are taking up to adding so many religious prohibitions now. If you wish to wear it, wear it, dear sister. Don't hesitate. Everyone has rights and liberties. But you see, in the end one realises all of this is nothing beyond mere show. Sister, it is important to truly understand why jewellery is unneccessary: that we're not taking any of pretty looking earrings or bangles along us when we die. That they are not true our true treasure - our true treasure is in our hearts. Basically, what are we trying to achieve showing jewellery to others? It is only binding us up in falseness of showoff leading us to duality. From a more spiritual perspective, we take pride in our own selves when we wear them, thus it makes us egoistic and diverts our attention to our own selves. I must as well mention that as Sikhs, we strive to kill our ego.

To be a Sikh means to be a learner. To be a learner, one must realise what is wrong - so that new things are learnt. So tell me, are you not one? Now, to know what is wrong, one must ask the teacher. Who is the teacher? Guru. What to do to approach the Guru? Take amrit, don't care about what anyone will say, accept Guru Gobind as your teacher.

Many of my dear brothers and sisters have suggested various ways. I am very thankful to them and take pride in my Guru's sangat being so helpful and supporting.

Khalsa belongs to God; To God belongs victory.

- Lowest