Parents

[Guest Gupt Singh]

Well, specifically my mom. I asked my mom about taking amrit a little while ago and she flipped out. To cut a long story short she said:

1. I was being brainwashed.

2. Sikhs who take amrit are filled with ego and think they know everything (my dad took amrit in 90s)

3. I can after I get married and/or when I get into medical school.

4. I can't go to a certain Gurudwara anymore because she said i got brainwashed there.

5. It will distract me from studies.

6. I won't achieve my goal of becoming a doctor.

I contradicted all her points, but she still stuck with what she said.

I was planning to take amrit next week, but everything has changed. I had a feeling this would happen. I haven't discussed this with my dad yet..

I'm just so confused and lost, It's one thing to say no about taking amrit and then say no to going to a specific gurudwara.

[Amrit]

If you feel ready go for it, have faith and Guru Jee will sort the rest out.

[Guest Gupt Singh]

Not sure I could do that without creating a big problem at home...

[Guest retina]

I once had a dream at a time when my family was upsetting me alot just for the sake of it. In my dream a singh told me not to worry about them and said a few other things. After that there were many times that after an argument with members of my family in which I felt like the victim. When sitting down and picking up a gutka to pray in sadness I opened to a page which says that we have no real family other than god.

Your parents although they gave birth to you were different people in their last lives and will not be your parents when you leave this world. We could leave any day so why not focus on what god thinks. If you truly 100%believe you should take amrit then by all means do so, if you feel you can find god without taking amrit then plenty of people have done this also, bhagats and people in the times before Guru Gobind Singh Ji.

The most important thing is to drink in the amrit of gods naam constantly and to find him. You can do this without taking amrit and many who have taken amrit never find him so don;t think that taking amrit will give you a free path to actual liberation.

Good luck with whatever you decide and remember, don't let your parents make decisions when it comes to god, this is the one area over which they will never have control- although many parents including one of my own detest this, god ALWAYS comes first.

[Guest guptbhenji]

WJKK WJKF

I have a different point on this paaji. Taking amrit is very good, but the way one goes about it is also important.

You dont need to end up with conflict with ur parents. God does not tell us to go against our parents in order to get close to them.

Im trying to understand this from ur mom's point of view then u can work round it.

1. I was being brainwashed. Why does she think this? Are u behaving differently from b4? Or keep going on about one thing only?

2. Sikhs who take amrit are filled with ego and think they know everything (my dad took amrit in 90s)

I dont think it is that they are full of ego, but I must say myself nowadays I too feel this way more with the younger generation, thinking they do know it all, which is draws me away from them, rather than towards them. Not saying all are like this but in the old days taking amrit was different, dont know whether thats to do with youngsters being more educated nowadays, but it does make people like me feel secluded.

It doesnt matter when ur dad took amrit, it should mean the same whether one took it 40yrs ago or 20yrs ago or yesterday. You should talk to him about it since he has taken amrit, so u have somebody in ur favour in ur family.

3. I can after I get married and/or when I get into medical school.

Ur mother is worred that u wont get married if u take amrit, but god also tells us to live grishti jeevan. And she is worried that u will not do well in ur studies, u need to make her understand that u will not fall behind and prove it to her too.

4. I can't go to a certain Gurudwara anymore because she said i got brainwashed there.

Thats ok, go to another gurdwara then, maybe there is something that is worrying her about the people that go to that gurdwara. You can go to another gurdwara, because wherever Guru Granth Sahib Ji is all gurdwaras should be the same for ur heart. Ask her y she doesnt want u to go to that gurdwara, wat are her reasons?

5. It will distract me from studies.

SAme answer as point 3.

6. I won't achieve my goal of becoming a doctor.

There are amritdharis that are doctors and in high positions, you need to get to know some, I feel she is seeing the rong side to taking amrit, not that any of it is rong, maybe she has experienced something that has pushed her away from its views.

Do u have any amritdhari friends that u could bring home, so she can get to know them that they are good ppl?

For some ppl taking amrit is very hard, its not an easy thing to do, and ur going thru the challenges of it now, hopefully this will make u stronger, and maybe its testing u to see if u got it in you and how u go about handling the whole situation.

good luck with it, but ur family should not be gone against either, u need their blessings too, and for those that say ur parents wont be with u after, we all know that, but ur mother did carry you for 9months and she bring him up, so she is a mother and okay not all parents are the same, you have to make her understand that it is the right thing.

God never says to put them first b4 everybody else, if we cant please our parents either in some ways then god would not be happy with that either. eg: if a house was on fire, god doesnt say keep praying to them and leave the family inside, Nooo, first thing u would do is to make sure ur nearest and dearest are out of that house and are safe.

Just go about it with a calm approach and dont fight about it, thats the best way to deal with it, with nirmata.

[MokhamSingh]

In history Sarvan Kumar was the most obedient son known to mankind. Praladh was the most disobedient child known to mankind.

SGGS Ji does not mention Sarvan Kumar even once but eulogises Praladh over and over again.

We do not belong to our parents.

We are Waheguru. "Kaho Kabir eh Ram ki ans".

People who don't realise the value of Amrit will speak against it.

Amrit Naam is a precious gem. Only a jauhri knows the value of a gem , not a coal merchant.

Take Amrit , become a Guru vala , meditate on Naam and become liberated i.e. full of bliss.

[Guest guptbhenji]

Only a jauhri knows the value of a gem , not a coal merchant.

Are these ur own words paaji or from somewhere? A coal merchant is also creation of God, wat if a coal merchant wants to take amrit and may become a jauhri?

[Guest $ingh$]

I was going to take amrit before I went to medical school. My mum didn't flip, she actually took me to the amrit ceremony and found out the times, dates etc. Then on the day of the amrit sanchar one of the panj pyare were known to us and they were dodgy and I didn't want to amrit from him. I then realised the other panj could be dodgy too and then I didn't want amrit off any panj without knowing they were proper sikhs and my mum decided we should think about it more and come later. This dragged on and then I got busy with my exams and then the next thing you know I went to medical school, qualified and I am working as a doctor now. My family are still positive about amrit and I have no regrets.

Looking back I feel it did not make a difference if I did take Amrit. I've lived like an amritdhari but I've just never had the official ceremony. You could do the same. If you do take amrit then the only potential problem is that when it comes to marriage it might be difficult to find amritdhari sikh girl doctors (I don't know any!) but you never know there might be someone when your time comes. So in all honesty it really depends on your choice. I decided to live like an amritdhari which I am happy with and if I find someone who is willing to take amrit, I will take it before or on my marriage day so really its trivial - what far more important is if you live like an amritdhari.

[Guest guptbhenji]

WJKK WJKF

I totally agree with Singh paji, its important to live like an amritdhari too, and take amrit for the right reasons. I have come across some amritdharis sorry to say, and have felt they do not have the qualities that an amritdhari should have, not saying im any better, but where aggressiveness and fear and taking advantage of god's name in order to make another human suffer is not wat i would call being amritdhari.

Taking amrit should be the best day of ur life, and u want to maintain that after u take it too, its like the best thing anybody can do.

Hope u have been able to sit down as a family and talk about it and go ahead with everybody being happy about it. All the best.