I Used To Be More Inspired And Have More Faith Before I Took Amrit, What Happened? :-(

[Guest KKaur]

Gurfateh Jee

Im just really confused and upset, and one question keeps playing on my mind. Why is it that before I took Amrit I felt more closer to Gurujee and I had more faith?

I don't get it. At the age of 13/14 I went through a phase of waking up at 2 a.m to do amritvela, and found myself continuously doing simran throughout the day, even while being at school. I used to cry when hearing the amazing stories of gursikhs from the past which my dad used to tell me, and I used to feel so motivated and so faithful, and I used to think 'I want that'!

But slowly after taking amrit (not straight after) but after time I don't feel like I am now what I used to be. I dont feel the way I used to feel, I don't feel as motivated, I almost feel as if I should give up. I don't feel as 'boosted' as I used to feel when doing simran, listening to kirtan or reciting bani. I feel different, and it feels as if I dont have as much faith as I used to have.

I keep asking myself why that is? I really can't find an answer. It is just so hard.

Another thing that keeps playing on my mind is the fact that I feel because I am a girl, I feel like im not going to get as far, and that I might as well give up. I feel that many gursikhs i.e older gursikhs feel that girls aren't as important as the guys, and that boys deserve all the attention. This is true, no matter how much we tell ourselves it is not, in most cases this is true. When something was to happen, the girl would probably get blamed for it. The girl would be the reason it happened, and girls are the problem. It sounds silly I know, but that is how it seems.

We have a lack of female role models, and this can become a problem. Like sometimes I wish that I could speak to a gursikh and I wish they could help me, tell me not to worry, tell me that it is not how it is, tell me to keep trying, motivate me.

I don't know, may be I am just going through a bad patch, but it is how I feel. I keep wishing I could be how I used to be, the person I was. I don't know why my faith is decreasing, and why I feel like I should just give up.

Gurfateh Jee

[whyhellothere]

Satnam Sri Waheguru Ji

Phenji I'm going rthrough the same thing as you now. It's like my heart has hardened and I have to try extra hard to get the love for god to well up.

What I've realised that the pain of seperation is still in me, buried deep within and comes up every so often when I try to realise the truth. These moments are precious and beautiful to me as they happen less often than they used to but to a greater extent. I see this as a test as to whether I forget god or try hard to remember him.

I would suggest listening to raag kirtan, doing naam jaap and quieting your mind and listening. Don;t just stop at that, go all the way, do good deeds and develop good godly traits and virtues and go all the way by japping his name. Truth is his name, Jaap on it to find him, the truth, you will feel pain and suffer until you do.

P.s there were plenty of female sants/brahmgyanis during our gurus times and now aswell, people are either not aware of them or choose not to follow/ acknowledge them. Pray to guruji from the heart to bring you across one and you will find one when the time is right, according to His hukam.

[Guest Bundha]

But slowly after taking amrit (not straight after) but after time I don't feel like I am now what I used to be. I dont feel the way I used to feel, I don't feel as motivated, I almost feel as if I should give up. I don't feel as 'boosted' as I used to feel when doing simran, listening to kirtan or reciting bani. I feel different, and it feels as if I dont have as much faith as I used to have.

Maybe you thought that once you had taken Amrit that you had reached some sort of level and it was going to be plain sailing from here. Amrit is the first step and the hard work is still to do. You must not let yourself get into slackness, your job is to do simran, then just do it and keep on doing it and leave the rest to Guru Ji. The fact that you feel you should give up means that those Chore inside you are getting the upper hand they are getting you to admit defeat without even putting up a fight. You need to combat this and get out of this malaise.

Another thing that keeps playing on my mind is the fact that I feel because I am a girl, I feel like im not going to get as far, and that I might as well give up. i.e older gursikhs feel that girls aren't as important as the guys, and that boys deserve all the attention.

Are these older gursikhs going to go with you when you pass over to the next life ? Then why do you worry about what they say or do? Your relationship is with your Guru, and He never forsakes you so why are you so worried. Your job is to do simran, the get on with it and stop worrying about peripherals.

As a boy or a girl you need to progress in your Sikhi not what other people think.

[VanHelsingh]

Maybe this is another test to overcome on the way to becoming a true Gursikh? You possibly thought it was going to be easy sailing when the "final piece of the puzzle" dropped into place, but if anything its more difficult. I'd say that's a good sign wouldn't you? It proves that there is something special in Sikhi that can't be obtained just by taking Amrit. Don't get me wrong, Amrit is absolutely essential but Amrit alone (without knowledge of Naam, Gurbani, tolerance of mankind, control over one's impulses, etc) is not the end of the "journey".

[kirpadhaar]

bhenji if you need a singhnee to talk to message me (i am a singhnee lol)

[SunSingh]

we go through stages where we feel less inspired, we don't get as much anand, everything seems to take more effort etc. think of it as a test. Sangat sangat and sangat are very important. so is simran and seva. just try to keep pushing on and always do ardass all the time.

[Guest KKaur]

Vaheguroo.

But how can you do a heartfelt ardaas, when you are feeling less motivated and less inspired?

[GurGurKaro]

Bhenji! something must have changed for you to feel like this ? hanjee you was blessed with amrit with gurujee's kirpa that should have motivated you more ? something else must have happened for you to feel like this ?

[Guest KKaur]

Yeah I suppose it is all just one big test,which to

overcome takes alot of time and effort.

I'm not saying I took amrit and that's it, i didnt do much else after. I was still quite inspired and 'boosted' after. It's just slowly after, it seems that I'm doing less and less, that is the upsetting part, because no one wants that to happen . Everyone wishes for improvement

But like you said, it is ultimately just one big test.

[Guest KKaur]

Kirpadhaar, thank you :-)