Marriage

[GurGurKaro]

Vaaheguroojeekaakhalsa Vaaheguroojeekeefateh

In order for a marriage or a engagement to work ? what needs to be done ?

you have given your whole trust to other person but you feel they are holding back.

what is the next step ?

Vaaheguroojeekaakhalsa Vaaheguroojeekeefateh

[Gupt1984]

Trust takes time to build, for some it takes longer, if you feel the other person is holding back, talk to them tell them how you feel. Depending on a persons circumstances it can take some time to trust someone and open up fully. Just be open in your communication, share your feelings and be patient.

Vaheguru ji ka Khalsa

Vaheguru ji ke fateh

[Guest bibi]

Fateh Ji

yes, trust does take time. Maybe the best option would be to confront? to tell the other person how you feel.

[Guest Just someone]

Maybe the other person is hiding something from u. Is this what u are saying gurgurkaro? Congratulations on being engaged though gurgurkaro ji

[GurGurKaro]

Gurfateh!

basically the girl has been engaged before, I have known her for ages. I want to be engaged to her and i think she wants to spend her life with me. I am not sure. shes just come out of a relationship with some other guy.

me and her speak every now and again. but i think shes holding something back because we are not close as we use to be.

I want her to open up to me but what do i do??

[VanHelsingh]

At the risk of being blunt, ask her if she still has hang-ups about her previous relationships, i.e. unresolved feelings. Don't accuse her of anything untoward or suggest she's acting unfavourably towards you. Ask her if she really wants to be with you. This is YOUR life too - if you bite your tongue now when your heart is telling you that something isn't quite right, you'll regret it later if things turn sour.

Remember, take a mental note of what she doesn't say rather than preoccupy yourself with the answer you do receive. Sometimes its the unspoken things that are most telling, i.e. answers being avoided.

OR she could just be a thoroughly decent girl who doesn't want to reveal too much before marriage, due to her past misfortune with relationships? Maybe she's trying to figure what you should (and should not) know before she opens her heart to you in a way that would please you?

So many possible issues - and I'm sure there's a few other reasons that haven't crossed any of our minds!

[Guest Just somebody]

Should she have been in a relationship with some guy? And would u not mind that? Maybe if u really want to be engaged to her, ask ur parents and they could ask her parents. But about her holding back, just confront her

[Guest Guest]

Maybe she feels she can't trust u for some reason? could this be the case?

[Guest gupt bhenji]

maybe she is just worried th same thing will happen,come on she's just come out of another relationship as u stated, so it takes time for things to settle. I feel she needs space, and to go into another relationship so quick after leaving another one is not right.

You know she maybe going thru a bad time herself, and its not fair to blame her for anything. Try to talk to her, and keep saying u are there for her if she needs to talk about anything. Giving her ultimatums wont help that will scare her away. some people are very fragile and sensitive, so if u really want to be with her and spend rest of ur life with her, u always have to share her pain too. Its not so easy to move on when somebody has been in a case like hers.

Not fair on u either as u probably feel lost at wat to do, therefore approach her calmly and try to resolve any issues she may have first.

[Guest Sad kuri]

I am also in dilemma. I will be marrying sum1 next year, but i am second thoughts. He doesn't treat me

right and I find him threatening. But at same time i feel awfully sorry for him, he needs the attention. what shuld I do? Plz help saadh sangat ji.

Guru ke fatheh