Who Do You Share Your Problems With

[Guest =[]

I've been facing a lot of personal/life problems lately but feel I have no one to talk to. I don't have any real friends who i am too close to that i can open up to and explain everything nor am i able to do so with any of my family members.

Not sure what to do, i feel so lost

[Guest guptpaaji]

Do ardaas and take a hukamnama and then if Guru Sahib does kirpa you will see how near Guru Sahib, our only friend really is. We don't need friends, we only need Guru Sahib. Sangat is also an important thing to have but really even the purpose of sangat is only to strengthen your relationship with Guru Sahib. Its useless to try to rely on any created being for any support or advice, Maharaj Says-

ਜੋ ਡੁਬੰਦੋ ਆਪਿ ਸੋ ਤਰਾਏ ਕਿਨ੍ਹ੍ਹ ਖੇ ॥

Jo dubanḏo āp so ṯarā▫e kinĥ kẖe.

One who himself has drowned - how can he carry anyone else across?

ਤਾਰੇਦੜੋ ਭੀ ਤਾਰਿ ਨਾਨਕ ਪਿਰ ਸਿਉ ਰਤਿਆ ॥੧॥

तारेदड़ो भी तारि नानक पिर सिउ रतिआ ॥१॥

Ŧāreḏaṛo bẖī ṯār Nānak pir si▫o raṯi▫ā. ||1||

One who is imbued with the Love of the Husband Lord - O Nanak, he himself is saved, and he saves others as well. ||1||

(Ang 1101)

Remember, the Param Purakh, Vaheguru himself resides within you, you need to khoj (Search) for him inside but you can only do this with the support of the True Guru, Guru Granth Sahib Ji Maharaj. If you haven't recieved amrit this means begging the panj pyare for amrit and following what they say. If you have then it means you need to get closer to maharaj through bani, simran, seva and rehat. Once you have connected with the infinite divine within you, you will never need to search outside, in fact the outside world appears as a hindrance and distraction to the true seeker of Vaheguroo. A bhagat who is still walking towards the goal and has not reached it runs away from the world (mentally, not physically obviously as we are still householders and not ascetics), they are only interested in the sangat of the Sants and Guru Sahib as they alone have the true Gurmat to unite them with Vaheguroo. In fact we should never feel the need to go to anyone else as our only problem should be the pain we feel as a result of separation from Vaheguroo- and to fix this we only need to go to Guru Sahib and the Sants (this includes satsangat when bani, naam and true vichar is being done, but not chit chat). Even other problems are solved by Vaheguru when he does kirpa.

Maharaj says:

ਮਃ ੫ ॥

Mėhlā 5.

Fifth Mehl:

ਹਿਕਸ ਕੂੰ ਤੂ ਆਹਿ ਪਛਾਣੂ ਭੀ ਹਿਕੁ ਕਰਿ ॥

Hikas kūʼn ṯū āhi pacẖẖāṇū bẖī hik kar.

Yearn for the One Lord, and make Him your friend.

ਨਾਨਕ ਆਸੜੀ ਨਿਬਾਹਿ ਮਾਨੁਖ ਪਰਥਾਈ ਲਜੀਵਦੋ ॥੩॥

Nānak āsṛī nibāhi mānukẖ parthā▫ī lajīvḏo. ||3||

O Nanak, He alone fulfills your hopes; you should feel embarrassed, visiting other places. ||3||

(Ang 1101)

And also

ਜੋ ਦੀਸੈ ਸੋ ਚਾਲਸੀ ਕਿਸ ਕਉ ਮੀਤੁ ਕਰੇਉ ॥

Jo ḏīsai so cẖālsī kis ka▫o mīṯ kare▫o.

Whoever is seen, shall depart; who should I make my friend?

ਜੀਉ ਸਮਪਉ ਆਪਣਾ ਤਨੁ ਮਨੁ ਆਗੈ ਦੇਉ ॥

Jī▫o sampa▫o āpṇā ṯan man āgai ḏe▫o.

I dedicate my soul, and place my body and mind in offering before Him.

(Ang 936)

Please read these two shabads, and also Salok mahalla 9 (which can be found here:http://www.sikhitothemax.com/page.asp?SourceID=G&pageno=1426 scroll down)

ਧਨਾਸਰੀ ਮਹਲਾ ੫ ॥

Ḏẖanāsrī mėhlā 5.

Dhanaasaree, Fifth Mehl:

ਜਿਸ ਕਾ ਤਨੁ ਮਨੁ ਧਨੁ ਸਭੁ ਤਿਸ ਕਾ ਸੋਈ ਸੁਘੜੁ ਸੁਜਾਨੀ ॥

Jis kā ṯan man ḏẖan sabẖ ṯis kā so▫ī sugẖaṛ sujānī.

Body, mind, wealth and everything belong to Him; He alone is all-wise and all-knowing.

ਤਿਨ ਹੀ ਸੁਣਿਆ ਦੁਖੁ ਸੁਖੁ ਮੇਰਾ ਤਉ ਬਿਧਿ ਨੀਕੀ ਖਟਾਨੀ ॥੧॥

Ŧin hī suṇi▫ā ḏukẖ sukẖ merā ṯa▫o biḏẖ nīkī kẖatānī. ||1||

He listens to my pains and pleasures, and then my condition improves. ||1||

ਜੀਅ ਕੀ ਏਕੈ ਹੀ ਪਹਿ ਮਾਨੀ ॥

Jī▫a kī ekai hī pėh mānī.

My soul is satisfied with the One Lord alone.

ਅਵਰਿ ਜਤਨ ਕਰਿ ਰਹੇ ਬਹੁਤੇਰੇ ਤਿਨ ਤਿਲੁ ਨਹੀ ਕੀਮਤਿ ਜਾਨੀ ॥ ਰਹਾਉ ॥

Avar jaṯan kar rahe bahuṯere ṯin ṯil nahī kīmaṯ jānī. Rahā▫o.

People make all sorts of other efforts, but they have no value at all. ||Pause||

ਅੰਮ੍ਰਿਤ ਨਾਮੁ ਨਿਰਮੋਲਕੁ ਹੀਰਾ ਗੁਰਿ ਦੀਨੋ ਮੰਤਾਨੀ ॥

Amriṯ nām nirmolak hīrā gur ḏīno manṯānī.

The Ambrosial Naam, the Name of the Lord, is a priceless jewel. The Guru has given me this advice.

ਡਿਗੈ ਨ ਡੋਲੈ ਦ੍ਰਿੜੁ ਕਰਿ ਰਹਿਓ ਪੂਰਨ ਹੋਇ ਤ੍ਰਿਪਤਾਨੀ ॥੨॥

Digai na dolai ḏariṛ kar rahi▫o pūran ho▫e ṯaripṯānī. ||2||

It cannot be lost, and it cannot be shaken off; it remains steady, and I am perfectly satisfied with it. ||2||

ਓਇ ਜੁ ਬੀਚ ਹਮ ਤੁਮ ਕਛੁ ਹੋਤੇ ਤਿਨ ਕੀ ਬਾਤ ਬਿਲਾਨੀ ॥

O▫e jo bīcẖ ham ṯum kacẖẖ hoṯe ṯin kī bāṯ bilānī.

Those things which tore me away from You, Lord, are now gone.

ਅਲੰਕਾਰ ਮਿਲਿ ਥੈਲੀ ਹੋਈ ਹੈ ਤਾ ਤੇ ਕਨਿਕ ਵਖਾਨੀ ॥੩॥

Alankār mil thailī ho▫ī hai ṯā ṯe kanik vakẖānī. ||3||

When golden ornaments are melted down into a lump, they are still said to be gold. ||3||

ਪ੍ਰਗਟਿਓ ਜੋਤਿ ਸਹਜ ਸੁਖ ਸੋਭਾ ਬਾਜੇ ਅਨਹਤ ਬਾਨੀ ॥

Pargati▫o joṯ sahj sukẖ sobẖā bāje anhaṯ bānī.

The Divine Light has illuminated me, and I am filled with celestial peace and glory; the unstruck melody of the Lord's Bani resounds within me.

ਕਹੁ ਨਾਨਕ ਨਿਹਚਲ ਘਰੁ ਬਾਧਿਓ ਗੁਰਿ ਕੀਓ ਬੰਧਾਨੀ ॥੪॥੫॥

Kaho Nānak nihcẖal gẖar bāḏẖi▫o gur kī▫o banḏẖānī. ||4||5||

Says Nanak, I have built my eternal home; the Guru has constructed it for me. ||4||5||

Ang 671-672

and

ਪਉੜੀ ॥

Pa▫oṛī.

Pauree:

ਤਿਸੁ ਗੁਰ ਕਉ ਹਉ ਵਾਰਿਆ ਜਿਨਿ ਹਰਿ ਕੀ ਹਰਿ ਕਥਾ ਸੁਣਾਈ ॥

Ŧis gur ka▫o ha▫o vāri▫ā jin har kī har kathā suṇā▫ī.

I am a sacrifice to the Guru, who recites the sermon of the Lord's Teachings.

ਤਿਸੁ ਗੁਰ ਕਉ ਸਦ ਬਲਿਹਾਰਣੈ ਜਿਨਿ ਹਰਿ ਸੇਵਾ ਬਣਤ ਬਣਾਈ ॥

Ŧis gur ka▫o saḏ balihārṇai jin har sevā baṇaṯ baṇā▫ī.

I am forever a sacrifice to that Guru, who has led me to serve the Lord.

ਸੋ ਸਤਿਗੁਰੁ ਪਿਆਰਾ ਮੇਰੈ ਨਾਲਿ ਹੈ ਜਿਥੈ ਕਿਥੈ ਮੈਨੋ ਲਏ ਛਡਾਈ ॥

So saṯgur pi▫ārā merai nāl hai jithai kithai maino la▫e cẖẖadā▫ī.

That Beloved True Guru is always with me; wherever I may be, He will save me.

ਤਿਸੁ ਗੁਰ ਕਉ ਸਾਬਾਸਿ ਹੈ ਜਿਨਿ ਹਰਿ ਸੋਝੀ ਪਾਈ ॥

Ŧis gur ka▫o sābās hai jin har sojẖī pā▫ī.

Most blessed is that Guru, who imparts understanding of the Lord.

ਨਾਨਕੁ ਗੁਰ ਵਿਟਹੁ ਵਾਰਿਆ ਜਿਨਿ ਹਰਿ ਨਾਮੁ ਦੀਆ ਮੇਰੇ ਮਨ ਕੀ ਆਸ ਪੁਰਾਈ ॥੫॥

Nānak gur vitahu vāri▫ā jin har nām ḏī▫ā mere man kī ās purā▫ī. ||5||

O Nanak, I am a sacrifice to the Guru, who has given me the Lord's Name, and fulfilled the desires of my mind. ||5||

Ang 587-588

Daas would also suggest starting a sehaj paath, going to more sangat and listening to more keertan.

Bhull chuk maaf.

[Guest Helper of needy]

You shud ring the samaritans or if it serious problems then mental healthy councillors cam help also. I hope you cam get better soon

[xtremesingh18]

I have a diary, it writes back to me and everything. It's kind of like the one in Harry potter.

But seeing as you don't have a diary, maybe you should take the advice of the person above and see a councelor

[Tera]

I know may sound a bit crazy but you could try talking to Vaheguru. Just talk, out loud or in your mind, they are always listening and will help. Also helps you build that relationship and become closer.

You could also confide in one of your friends too if you can;t with your family. You have to make that step of opening up a bit but remember its a two way thing. listen as well as talk. And think positive... The glass is half full!

[harinder kaur]

If you want to talk then contact me through personal message.

[_singhni_]

Having been in your place few years ago I'd say follow Tera's advice. It's the best thing ever been able to talk to vaheguru je. I still talk to vaheguru je everyday it's amazing but don't go round telling people who aren't into sikhi as they'll think you have gone loopey lol

Keep your head up high only vaheguru je is your true and only friend

[Guest Guest]

What people have said on this topic is true to an extent but it is important to have some close friends. Humans are by nature social and isolating yourself can lead to depression and low self esteem. Make an effort to be more social and try and have at least one or two very close friends you can confide in.

Guru Ji is ultimately our only true Sangat but it takes a high avastha to realise this, and its not easy to get to a high avastha through bhagti if you have lots of worries on your mind.

Internet forums or friends over the internet aren't substitutes for a good circle of real life friends.

[Guest singhni]

Fateh ji..

Once dass.. was in state..where i didn't no hu to talk to.. i could only cry nd cry..thn daas talked to waheguru..it helps so much.. nd thn i took my ipod out..nd i have this app in dere called gurbani everywhere..daas justed asked waheguru to show me a way. nd I clicked on a random shabad on my app.

Wahegrooo.. i was in love with that shabad.. daas felt waheguru was listenin to me.. i felt he was just dere cuddlin me..

heres the shabad..its long but amazing.. pls read itt. :)Pls read all of it.yu mite feel betta..

jaa ko musakal ath banai dtoee koe n dhaee ||

When you are confronted with terrible hardships, and no one offers you any support,

laagoo hoeae dhusamanaa saak bh bhaj khalae ||

when your friends turn into enemies, and even your relatives have deserted you,

sabho bhajai aasaraa chukai sabh asaraao ||

and when all support has given way, and all hope has been lost

chith aavai ous paarabreham lagai n thathee vaao ||1||

-if you then come to remember the Supreme Lord God, even the hot wind shall not touch you. ||1||

saahib nithaaniaa kaa thaan ||

Our Lord and Master is the Power of the powerless.

aae n jaaee thhir sadhaa gur sabadhee sach jaan ||1|| rehaao ||

He does not come or go; He is Eternal and Permanent. Through the Word of the Guru's Shabad, He is known as True. ||1||Pause||

jae ko hovai dhubalaa na(n)g bhukh kee peer ||

If you are weakened by the pains of hunger and poverty,

dhamarraa palai naa pavai naa ko dhaevai dhheer ||

with no money in your pockets, and no one will give you any comfort,

suaarathh suaao n ko karae naa kishh hovai kaaj ||

and no one will satisfy your hopes and desires, and none of your works is accomplished

chith aavai ous paarabreham thaa nihachal hovai raaj ||2||

-if you then come to remember the Supreme Lord God, you shall obtain the eternal kingdom. ||2||

jaa ko chi(n)thaa bahuth bahuth dhaehee viaapai rog ||

When you are plagued by great and excessive anxiety, and diseases of the body;

grisath <banned word filter activated>(n)b palaettiaa kadhae harakh kadhae sog ||

when you are wrapped up in the attachments of household and family, sometimes feeling joy, and then other times sorrow;

goun karae chahu ku(n)tt kaa gharree n baisan soe ||

when you are wandering around in all four directions, and you cannot sit or sleep even for a moment

chith aavai ous paarabreham than man seethal hoe ||3||

-if you come to remember the Supreme Lord God, then your body and mind shall be cooled and soothed. ||3||

kaam karodhh mohi vas keeaa kirapan lobh piaar ||

When you are under the power of sexual desire, anger and worldly attachment, or a greedy miser in love with your wealth;

chaarae kilavikh oun agh keeeae hoaa asur sa(n)ghaar ||

if you have committed the four great sins and other mistakes; even if you are a murderous fiend

pothhee geeth kavith kishh kadhae n karan dhhariaa ||

who has never taken the time to listen to sacred books, hymns and poetry

chith aavai ous paarabreham thaa nimakh simarath thariaa ||4||

-if you then come to remember the Supreme Lord God, and contemplate Him, even for a moment, you shall be saved. ||4||

saasath si(n)mrith baedh chaar mukhaagar bicharae ||

People may recite by heart the Shaastras, the Simritees and the four Vedas;

thapae thapeesar jogeeaa theerathh gavan karae ||

they may be ascetics, great, self-disciplined Yogis; they may visit sacred shrines of pilgrimage

khatt karamaa thae dhugunae poojaa karathaa naae ||

and perform the six ceremonial rituals, over and over again, performing worship services and ritual bathings.

ra(n)g n lagee paarabreham thaa sarapar narakae jaae ||5||

Even so, if they have not embraced love for the Supreme Lord God, then they shall surely go to hell. ||5||

raaj milak sikadhaareeaa ras bhogan bisathhaar ||

You may possess empires, vast estates, authority over others, and the enjoyment of myriads of pleasures;

baag suhaavae sohanae chalai hukam afaar ||

you may have delightful and beautiful gardens, and issue unquestioned commands;

ra(n)g thamaasae bahu bidhhee chaae lag rehiaa ||

you may have enjoyments and entertainments of all sorts and kinds, and continue to enjoy exciting pleasures

chith n aaeiou paarabreham thaa sarap kee joon gaeiaa ||6||

-and yet, if you do not come to remember the Supreme Lord God, you shall be reincarnated as a snake. ||6||

[Guest =]]

Thanks Sangat Ji. I had a slightly off mood when i wrote this because of a very small thing , better now because of all your amazing replies

Thank u.