Do I Support Her?

[Guest -kaur26]

Wjkk Wjkf.

I have a close friend who has fallen in love with an amrit dari boy however I do not really agree with them having a relationship but she is my close friend so I want to be there for her. She is close to taking amrit soon and talk about marrying him in the future. I thought that as Gursikhs the wedding should be an arranged one. Should I say its wrong or support her..

Fateh ji.

[Guest uyguyg]

So they're both going to be amritdharis... and waiting for marriage... what's the problem? It doesn't HAVE to be arranged :| :|

[Guest Kaur26]

Oh but I thought it should be arranged? Like with parents?

[VanHelsingh]

When did the rules stop applying to Amritdharis? How does being an Amritdhari automatically preclude oneself from taking part in an "arranged" marriage? The fact of the matter is that the girl ISN'T an Amritdhari at this moment in time, and therefore the Amritdhari boy should not even entertain this union UNTIL she takes Amrit. Therefore they are girlfriend and boyfriend.

But I'm sure Singh Ji is thinking with another part of his body rather than his brain at the moment. :rolleyes2:

[Wicked Warrior]

As above, the important thing is they are both amritdhari when they marry. Parents don't need to "arrange" the marriage - there needs to be mutual consent between the parties.

If he can wait until she is blessed with Amrit, then I don't forsee a problem.

[Guest kaur26]

Must one be amrit dari to marry an amrit dari or can just follow rehat?

[Guest siki]

But I'm sure Singh Ji is thinking with another part of his body rather than his brain at the moment. :rolleyes2:

And what is that supposed to mean?

[jhooldenishan]

well, if your friend likes the boy and the boy likes her..then they should talk to their parents and work things out that way...they shouldn't do anything 'wrong' ..if their parents are okay with it then its okay..but it is important that they tell them..so they can get engaged...and get married later on..

[VanHelsingh]

And what is that supposed to mean?

What do you think it means?

Am I wrong in saying he - as an amritdhari - should not have entertained a union with this girl?

Am I wrong when I say that he should've flat-out refused any notion of marriage until she had become amritdhari?

Am I wrong in saying - as an amritdhari - he shouldn't enter a casual relationship with this girl because she "hopes" to take amrit one day (if that day ever comes)?

Am I wrong when I say he is letting kaam control his thoughts and actions?

Tell me where I'm wrong. If I you want I can be graphic and clearly define what I meant. But I don't want to sully myself and the sangat by clearly describing the kind of shenanigans Singh Ji thinks is acceptable. If the aforementioned particular brand of colloquialism sails over your head because you're not familiar with it's usage, then that's not my problem.

[jhooldenishan]

you are not wrong...you are correct =).. but i guess everybody make mistakes... live n learn... rest we really don't know the whole situation lol