Amritdhari + Lust - Some Questions

[DalbirSingh]

It's difficult to even say what date means if you are talking about courtship http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship

The opposite is arranged marriage you will find a difference in arranged and forced marriage. Loads of us in the community reject forced marriages. Marriage also consider economic factors for stability and security so in the past people married quick due to money problems, war problems etc. If you are considering marriage I think you would be silly in this day and age not to speak privately with the partner you are considering to marry and at times one meeting is not enough you may need several rushing into it can be terrible can result in divorce and delaying it too long can break it equally. Depends on the culture of where you live, you don't want a pointless act of courtship aswell that just ends up sleeping together and breaking up imagine someone using shaadi.com to do that. Muslims do halal dating where they have a chaperone someone to sit to make sure everything is kosher, halal or chardi khalla.

If you are amritdhari you are obliged to marry another amritdhari so if you have your family introduce you, you should set up meetings always when you go out tell someone where you are going. You don't want the case of abduction, kidnapping and date rape everyone regardless of communities fear that. You will find lust everywhere in different forms in the world, sometimes just thinking about a girl walking, or advertisement, movies, (certain websites), Lust is a selfish act which creates paap and furthers you from yog and mukhti you need selfless acts of true pyare and love.

Some people have odd relationships with their partners of lust it destroys relationships and marriages don't last you need to be genuine to yourself and others. You will find emoitional bonds (moh) worldly attachment all around the world even with friends and family when someone dies you can't move on or you can't move past them and remember maharaj these things inhibit simran. The rehat you should worry about is more your diginitiy, honour and self esteem. Don't be a pervert, don't be a rapist, don't be a hoe - I think loads of people would understand that. Be sincere, genuine, a gentleman, a kind, noble person (a sardar).