Getting Old...

[Guest Veteran Gabroo]

Sat sri akal,

This question is for older members of the sangat. I will be turning 25 in a few months, and I think I am having a quarter-life crisis.

I no longer enjoy being young and reckless. Sometimes I get the urge to go wild, but then I feel foolish afterwards. It's back to reality.

My thoughts are now mostly occupied with settling down, getting a good job and finding a wife, lol.

I think I may be feeling conflicted because I was a sheltered kid, and now that I have some freedom I want to have all the fun I missed out on, but I feel too old for that now. I have a lot of regrets.

I have always tried to do what my parents expected of me. I focused on studies, got distracted for a while, and then became serious again. However, I have yet to see the fruits of my hard work. My friends have come and gone. I feel like there are no real friends anymore. People are just your friends for the moment, besides my friends from childhood. However, even they are getting older and changing.

My parents forbid me from dating when I was younger. Any interaction with the opposite sex during my teen years was met with suspicion. Now all of a sudden, my parents are asking me why I'm not seeing anyone. I'm like, what the hell? Now this is another stress on my mind. I don't know what I want in a wife. I don't even know who I am yet. Every girl that I interact with now, I think that what if she is the one? What if I get an arranged marriage, and I end up hating my wife? What if she hates me? The thing is, I haven't met many girls that I would entertain a relationship with. Majority of them seem shallow and conceited. I also don't want any extra drama in my life.

I can't wait till I finish my degree, have my rishta fixed, get a job and finally start living my life how I want to live. My only fear is that I will be an old man (30 years old) by the time that happens.

Anybody else feel the same way?

Sorry for the long rambling post. I had to get that off my chest. Hoping to get some wisdom from the older people on here, who maybe know what I am going through.

[VanHelsingh]

25, getting old? 30, old man? :lol2:

Is it any comfort if I tell you nearly everyone has the same thoughts in their minds during their 20s? Chill out. Try not to live your life according to "PTL", i.e. the Panjabi Time Line, lol, where everyone is married by the age of 28 and has a kid on the way by the time they're 30. Not everyone fits the same template.

Not sure I agree with the 'going wild' bit. No need for that. You're not a teenager anymore.

[dalsingh101]

mega lol@being old at 25/30.............

Get a grip dude, life has just started for you - not ended!

Everything's gonna be alright.

[Guest kool]

If it feels any better I've just turned 30 lol & still feel like a kid in this world ;P Life's just started young man :-)

[SarabhaPanjab]

seriously.. wheres the sikh spirit gone man..

i normally don't type in these type of messages.. but seriously.. read your history, read about shaheed singhs, read about the state of our Panjab, join khalsa aid, SWAT, SOPW see how people live in the REAL world which will put your non-existent problems completely in perspective.

oh and man up!

[Guest Guest]

Some words of wisdom

1. ''No money no honey''

Concentrate on making money then girls will chase you.

2. Sher apna shikaar khudh kar da heh

Get a job and then find a girl of your choice (beggars are not choosers).

3. Nobody know's their future, just take a well informed decision and hope for the best.

Think Positive !

4. Successful professionals usually marry late due to demands of the profession.

Compared to others they are financially more secure as well as mature to take on responsibilities (wife & kids),

5. Go where your career takes you.

At this age or stage it shouldn't matter whether it's home or away.

Growth must be the biggest factor.

6. Parents can't support you forever !

[Guest pli]

hey this might sound weird but i am an 18yearold who is going through stuff like that now.. i have no freedom and i often worry about my life..

[PAL 07]

stick to Gurbani's path your desires are just Illussions, if you succumb to them you will only get grief and more desires

[Guest Veteran Gabroo]

I know people have bigger problems...that's why I feel silly for asking this question to be honest, but it was just something on my mind.

I think I have very high expectations of myself, and I have a lot of pressure from my family to be successful. I have always been told that life is a race, etc.

Gurbani is what got me thinking about this stuff in the first place. Guru ji says that when you die, you can't take your wealth with you. So then what is the point of working hard for materialistic and worldly things? I am wasting my youth chasing after things that don't matter.

Yeah I know I should man up. There is a reason I'm asking this question on the internet. People who know me in real life would be surprised to know that I feel like this. Usually they are the ones coming to me for advice.

As a man, we are taught to be soldiers and never show weakness, but everyone feels lost from time to time.

Thanks to the brothers who replied. I think I will grow out of this phase and everything will be okay. Always chardi kala.

[DalbirSingh]

I think you should be proud of your education the investment you made, it's all about sacrifices to get an education. Education are like bitter roots but the fruits are very sweet. All those people who messed about probably didn't get the same education you did and if they did, they have to face those characteristics being passed on to there children it messing about doesn't bring results. Hard work in education is really good for a career. Besides majority of the potential life partners all seek financial security and stability that is what a good education can bring. First get a job you have a whole life to live, don't let peoples paths of self destruction fool you. You should see rehab centres all full of these people who mess about too much they can later on by inflating there egos become ego maniacs go psychopathic in the end.

What your parents did was for your own good mixing too much with the opposite age when your too young can lead to teenage pregnancies and a whole range of problems most guys who don't have sucessful careers played about too much. Even successful movie stars and singers concentrated in there early life to enjoy life later on. You can enjoy life in a subtle conservative way. Finding a good life partner shouldn't be something you rush into take your time with that you have your whole life, a good career can bring you more confidence, happiness, which can make you more attractive for the right person. It's all about hard work and striving hard for it. Just like you have your problem so do many good girls who you will meet when the time is right for you through friends and family.

Take time out to have a picknick, watch a movie, enjoy the restraunt and you only need a few good quality friends, good quality people it's a hell surronding yourself with tons of fake friends. Having one or two true friends is all a guy needs people who can help you and vice versa. Take life easy don't go into this overdrive of crazyness people adopt they lead to a whole range of diseases and illnesses. Enjoy life in moderation live life to the fullest in a sensible way without doing stupid things. There is a whole formula in success which your parents have put you on, your parents are very wise follow them many people don't get nice parents like that who can guide them well to success. Once you hit the peak of your success many lost and confused people may seek your guidance and you can help them.