Marrying someone from the same village as mums, opinions!

[Guest Sharon]

Hi all,

I am a Sikh girl born and brought up in England and ive been in a relationship with my best friend and the love of my life for the past 6years. Now, he was born in India but moved to England when he was very young, so raised here too. We are hoping to get married however the issue is that we share the same nanake (mums village), i actually only realised that this was considered taboo a little while ago. We have traced back our families to has far back as possible and in no way are we related. Were not of the same caste either, however this is not a problem as neither of us or the families believe in caste.

He actually has no family there anymore, but my mama and his family do live there. The issue is my mama being against the idea (we have not told him yet, but my mum reckons he would definately oppose) as this will be looked down upon in the village.

I guess i just wanted to know what everyones thoughts were on this matter. I mean from my limited knowledge, what ive heard is that being raised in the pind everyone around you was considered as a brother/sister? This did not necessarily mean they are blood related.

To me, i just dont get the issue especially since neither me or him live there or intend too.

Thank you for reading and hope to hear your views soon

[Guest singh]

Please note you will not find a SINGLE source from our Guru Ji's or any other actual authority which says this is banned. it is purely to do with PUNJABI CULTURE. For example, do you think the white sikh converts that live in espanola care what each other's surnames are or where they are from? Nope. The only reason behind the whole not marrying pinds thing was just to preserve the social structure of the pinds and to keep people's bloodlines from becoming to narrow. Seeing as neither of you live there, its not really a big deal unless they CHOOSE to make it a big deal which would just be silly. but that's punjabis for you *Sigh*

[gurdeepsinghjohal]

Village is not at all an issue in your case(or any).

If your friend and your mother's caste would have been same mostly it does not matter.

Your Mamma won't have any issue now days boys and girls of same village marries.

[chatanga]

not again. try doing a search on this forum about similiar or identical topics. you will get your answers.

in one word to your original post: NO!

[S4NGH]

basically your marrying your brother. yuk

[Guest Fateh]

basically your marrying your brother. yuk

Please explain in basic terms how is he her brother?

[chatanga]

in panjabi culture, he is her brother, being of the same village is considered enough to be brothers and sisters.

[Guest patient]

Be very patient. Your mama does not need to know that when you have married. Eventually he will have to accept. This is what I did different topic. Mine is a love marriage. My mother-in-law I am sure has to accept when her daughter reaches the foreign land. This just means have no link with the people that do not accept and perhaps move away for a while when things cool down.

[Guest KharkuSoorme]

Lol, that's incest.

You're supposed to have same gotra up to your grandparents in either villages.

So your mom's or your grandmothers nanake are not supposed to be the same.

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It's also not really Punjabi culture, more Rajput/Saka culture from which Jatt, Rajput, Tarkhan, Gujjar tribes come from and this tradition carries on and makes sense since traditionally they don't marry outside their tribe.

Personally, Idc about 'inter-caste' marriage since caste doesn't exist but this is just ew..

[Palarmux]

Are you guys saying, that If I marry someone who lives in same town with me, here in Finland - I am incest?

That is most absurd thing I have ever heard....