need advice

[Guest nimana]

Sat sri akaal.

I am punjabi sikh. I always topped in class went to best college and got best job. I get really a good punjabi girl who was punjabi but pure heart. I treat all well and thought I only had moh not ehnkaar. I recited sukhmani sahib daily

 

After 3 months of marriage me and my wife had severe accident. She got head injury my bloodviens were ruptured both of us see death and after long time we recovered with effects.

 

I became amritdhari this year. But part of me was angry with God. 

Now I again become complicated  with urinary problems and wad tested positive for hcv. Had to be operated with 50 percent chances of success. My amrit was stopped as my hair of body were cut.  I blamed God and become tensed. My tension lead to my wife loosing hearing of one ear. And we are living apart I love her too much.

 

My misfortune grows so I started to think of either jumping in river or hanging myself but I don't garner strength to do it.

 

Only now I realised that I had ehnkaar all of my life and when I know it I cried a lot. And recite sukhmani sahib again.

 

The problem is I am not afraid of death but my mom for my wife is not allowing me to live in peace as I am responsible for all her pain.

 

Please guide me how to minimise moh to my wife and accept death separation as true reality. Even thought of living dying without her is unbearable.  How to control moh. Please please.

Really need advice. Has anyone has such experience? 

[harsharan000]

 

Nimanaa Jee,

very very sorry for your painful experiences. Do not commit any nonsense by jumping anywhere to suicide, or by any other means....

Just tell me one thing, do you really think Wahiguru Akal Purukh has anything to do, in this your hard times.

Just think, before this birth, where, or in which joonees were you, let´s say in your past 200 years ? Can you answer this?

If not, then behave yourself and be barambaar thankful to Wahiguru, for giving the chance to be born in human form, so that you can do His bhajan bandagee as per Gurmat, and get out for once and ever from this mayavee creation. So, if you suicide, how can you ever achieve that high goal, of meting and merging in Him.

You see, He knew your destiny karma of this birth of yours, which by the way, are your own sown seeds, and in spite of knowing all that, He blessed you with this human form, out of His utmost love for you,so that you cut off all your karmas, all your bandhans in this creation, by doing the right devotion and merge your surtee in Him.

And here, you are blaming Him somehow, partly ....By your painful experiences you are just paying off your heavy load of karmas, which once again, are not a product of  pure chance, but by the laws which govern this creation, as you sow, so shall you reap. Aapay bhejay, aapay khaae.

Be brave, be a true sikh, face life as it is, by love and faith at His Lotus feet at all times, without wavering, and you shall be ferried across, by His apaar kirpa.

 

Sat Sree akal.

[Guest Yogi]

I have two  shabads that are really very moh-destructive but again moh maya is according to sachepatshahs hukam.

may be same shabad means everything to me but nothing to some other person.

??

[Akalifauj]

Those are some tough times to go through and it seems they are not exactly over.  

It seems you are stuck in the past.  Majority of your energy is being spent on feeling bad for what you have gone through in the past.  I think you need to focus on the here and now.  We can't change the past.  Pain does not go away by ending your life.  Trying to make sense of the past to learn from your mistakes is productive but you need the right tools to analyze it.  This whole system of paying for past deeds in a past life is way tooooo complicated to understand.  I wouldn't take a random person's opinion of it as the gospel.  It's a math equation only understood by the Gurmukhs.   Start today with a clean life.  From this day forward you are going to work toward the Gurus path.  Best way to start is by doing ardas for what you want in life.  Then pick your favorite paath and read it with utmost attention.  Your mind is probably racing, thinking about what you could have had by now if all this misery didn't come in your life.  Let go and start reading Gurbani for direction in life.  Some make the mistake of reading Gurbani so they will receive something materialistic when truly they need santokh.  They think the materialistic object or affection will give them comfort, but it's the thing that is causing the pain.  

Self reflection is wonderfu when we have the right tools to do it.  Many in their imbalanced emotional state try to look for answers.  This leads to self destructive ways.  Right now you are running after time, trying to catch up.  The way to beat the clock is by focusing on the now through the Gurus instructions.  

[Guest Difficult times]

Please do not do anything to hurt yourself. Contact the sikh help line in uk or similar if abroad. See your gp and contact a counsellor who could help you.

Later marriage counselling for both of you.

It is good you are doing paath. Try to make time to visit gurdwara and do seva. This will help you as you take faith in Guru who is going to help you resolve and take you through the karma and challenges in life.

 

Find a Gursikh who is in the community who is living rehit and can perhaps mediate (help negotiate) between you and your wife. Whether yours or her family are present or not depending on how helpful family is. 

In the mean time work to become a better person, work on your personal issues and deal with you inner self. One way to do this in Sikhi is to sit and do simran whether you start with two minutes and slowly extend it. Free your mind and let vaheguru lead your path.