Mr

[Guest Confused]

So basically me and my husband are not and it shakd but are both from families that are. His family were close to a lot Singhs who became shaheed in 84.

I found out today hes been sending nudes to a Muslim girl he works with.

I not told him I know what should I do?

[S1ngh]

I understand how you wanted to lay down the groundwork in the post for Sangat to understand the religious standard of both sides of the family. However, it is better to keep individuals behavior from the Shaheed Singhs who selflessly gave up their life to panth. 

If you found out this then you need to sit down with him without losing your cool. Stay cool and grounded during the whole conversation. See if he wants to repent and then you decide what to do afterward.

Sorry that you are going thru this but stay strong my sister and try to find a way out and solution but do not blame yourself. Work it out - take whatever is on the table; be a family intervention or marriage counseling. Don't hide but first talk with him AS SOON AS YOU CAN. Do not delay. I wish you all luck and you have guru jees support. Bring sikh dharam the central part of your marriage life. 

[Guest guest]

hi

first i suggest you get to grips with how you feel about this.  you need to settle your emotions so you can think clearly.  how do you feel about all this?  and is there someone close you feel you can trust for advice who can empathise with you but also keep a cool head (a sister or female cousin?).

but you also need to decide quickly because you need to confront him while the evidence is there.  

but knowing human nature he will 1) just try and deny it 2) try and blame the other woman/ cry and act like the innocent party/ victim and go on about how much he loves you etc

maybe  you could look online for a forum for spouses who have been through similar and could advise from their experience?

[MisterrSingh]

I don't quite see the correlation between his family vaguely knowing the families of martyred Singhs from the 80's. Is that meant to infer some form of extra "Sikhiness" on a person that ultimately dictates their day-to-day conduct? Or was it used as bragging rights to inflate someone's status and impress the easily led?

[Guest Gupt]

Sad you`re going through this. 

You`ll need to confront him about it to establish whether or not he has been cheating. I know this must be incredibly painful for you and my heart goes out to you. I have been cheated on before and it`s an awful thing to have to go through. 

Get stronger and accept that God wants you to become yourself more than ever before, an individual, not constrained by the foolishness and darkness of Maya. Be confident and believe in yourself so that if the worst were to occur and you and your husband broke up, you could make it on your own. 

So confront, get the truth and work from there.