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Guest Lola

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Guest Lola

Hello everyone. I know I will be heavily judged for this post but I’m prepared for it and could do with some honest advice/ help/support. I have been dating a British born Sikh gentleman for the last year. He is in his late 40’s and married ( although separated& has 2 kids- 16 &21) . I’ve known him for 10 years and always known he was unhappily married. It was an arranged marriage when he was 17. Now I know you will all judge him but he is a genuine, decent, caring individual who respects all sanctities of life. Similar to myself I so many ways. He is also a good dad. I am I white British and not really religious but the beliefs I do have are very similar to that of the Sikh culture. In the past week my partner has finished all his studying, during which time he has lived away from the family home. He has now told me that he needs to move back into his family home (with wife )otherwise his parents will outcast him from the community. At which point we have split up. I am devastated that in such a day and age this is how things are. I also feel sorry for him because he tells me that he and his wife have nothing in common and by all accounts it would seem that she has a different partner too. He also stays with me every weekend and goes home to visit his kids during the days which leads me believe that they must know he’s with someone else.What I don’t understand is how when 2 people love eachother so much and are so right together the rest of the community can’t see or agree to this. Surely your children’s happiness of utmost importance?We are good people we love volunteering in areas of need and always try to be kind in any way in which we can. I guess I’m asking if anyone could advise  On whether it’s possible to work past these issues? Also has anyone ever had to deal with something similar.  Thanks in advance 

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On 7/30/2019 at 10:45 AM, Guest Lola said:

 He has now told me that he needs to move back into his family home (with wife )otherwise his parents will outcast him from the community. 

sorry but i think he is lying.

 if his wife is so bad why would he go back to her?

he is a grown man with grown up children.  why is he afraid his parents will "outcast" him from "the community"?  what community?  and why would his parents do that?

it sounds to me that he used you as his bit on the side and has now finished his studies is now going back to his wife (sorry).  i wouldn't believe anything he says. what did you expect from someone who cheats on his wife in the first place?  did you expect him to have any more respect for you than he does for her?

just my opinion.

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On 7/30/2019 at 10:45 AM, Guest Lola said:

 He also stays with me every weekend and goes home to visit his kids during the days which leads me believe that they must know he’s with someone else.

do you seriously believe this?

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On 7/30/2019 at 12:45 PM, Guest Lola said:

Hello everyone. I know I will be heavily judged for this post but I’m prepared for it and could do with some honest advice/ help/support. I have been dating a British born Sikh gentleman for the last year. He is in his late 40’s and married ( although separated& has 2 kids- 16 &21) . I’ve known him for 10 years and always known he was unhappily married. It was an arranged marriage when he was 17. Now I know you will all judge him but he is a genuine, decent, caring individual who respects all sanctities of life. Similar to myself I so many ways. He is also a good dad. I am I white British and not really religious but the beliefs I do have are very similar to that of the Sikh culture. In the past week my partner has finished all his studying, during which time he has lived away from the family home. He has now told me that he needs to move back into his family home (with wife )otherwise his parents will outcast him from the community. At which point we have split up. I am devastated that in such a day and age this is how things are. I also feel sorry for him because he tells me that he and his wife have nothing in common and by all accounts it would seem that she has a different partner too. He also stays with me every weekend and goes home to visit his kids during the days which leads me believe that they must know he’s with someone else.What I don’t understand is how when 2 people love eachother so much and are so right together the rest of the community can’t see or agree to this. Surely your children’s happiness of utmost importance?We are good people we love volunteering in areas of need and always try to be kind in any way in which we can. I guess I’m asking if anyone could advise  On whether it’s possible to work past these issues? Also has anyone ever had to deal with something similar.  Thanks in advance 

Are you certain that he told his wife about you?

a lot of guys pretend they’ve gone on business trips etc instead of admitting they’re  seeing someone. His wife may have still thought they’re married. My dad did this for years before my mother discovered he was having. A serious affair. 

And a lot. Of Indian guys are known to play western women. And then go back to. Their wives. This happens even with religious and British born Indians. They see western women as easy, which Is wrong. Similar to a sexist Arab mentality.  

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