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Guest Summer

I am from a Sikh family and he is from a Punjabi Hindu family. We are both doctors working in New Zealand and have been together for 4 years. His family is supportive whereas my dad is extremely angry and wants us to break up. He says he will never approve. Me and my partner are both very open minded, easy going, believe in god and have immense respect for our faiths. I have no idea what to do. The stress is taking a toll. Any help would be appreciated

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How important religion is in your life? 
Do you hope to live the religious life in nearby future?
Do you think of having kids leading a good sikh way of life?

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Guest Truth
On 9/12/2019 at 10:15 AM, Guest Summer said:

I am from a Sikh family and he is from a Punjabi Hindu family. We are both doctors working in New Zealand and have been together for 4 years. His family is supportive whereas my dad is extremely angry and wants us to break up. He says he will never approve. Me and my partner are both very open minded, easy going, believe in god and have immense respect for our faiths. I have no idea what to do. The stress is taking a toll. Any help would be appreciated

Who cares what his father says. If you two are committed to each other and love each other that’s all that matters. It’s your life not your fathers. 

 

 

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Guest Honest

Above poster said its your life not your father's..? Can you real shrug this situation off like this?

If you look in Rehitnamas and Guru Gobind Singh Jee's Mukhvaaks Maharaaj jee says that a Sikh father should marry his daughter into a SIKH household where there is love and respect for Guru Granth Sahib jee. When this girl will have a child will she take her baby with her family to the Gurdwara Sahib and take a Hukamnama or to the Mandir to have its hair shaved off and a thread tied? Or will it be all mumbled jumbled where you go to the Gurdwara Sahib and the Mandir. Will you and your children celebrate Visakhi, Divali, Gurpurbs, Christmas, New year, Lohri, keep fasts, bathe in river Ganga, go and bathe in Harmandir Sahib sarovar too? Will you name your child Anil/Sunil/Maya/Poonam? or Anoop Singh/Shamsher Singh/Manchet Kaur/Parsan Kaur?

Even if you dont want to go into the aspect of difference in religion and culture. Are you willing to potentially break ties with your mother, father and brothers and sisters? The day you get married do you REALLY believe in your heart of heart that my father and brother and mum REALLY were happyfor me or sad that your gone to your inlaws? When your siblings get married - will your children be able to mix with their cousins? Will your siblings be able to mix with your husband? Will your mum and dad be able to relate and mix/mingle with their kurmacharee?

No parent wants to tarnish the family name. All thethings you have listed i.e. your both doctors, you both have been together for 4 years (sorry you should be working not having relationships - THAT is why you was sent to NZ by your parents right?) - you seem to think you are both "perfect" for eachother. Generally speaking the boys side of the family are welcoming because once you are married and have children YOU too will be considered a Hindu and so will your children (regardless of what you both believe) - ultimately you will be considered a part of their heiarchay.

Right now you may feel everything is so perfect and FITS - there are plenty of educated Punjabi and Sikh men out there - dob't break ties with the family that gave birth, raised you and educated you enough to become a doctor just because you THINK you have found the "one." - You dobt REALLY know anything about this man and his family YOU think you do. But you don't - a parent's eye can only determine what or who is best for their child. I may sound old fashioned but if all these years ago people had arranged marriages - why was it then that the divorce rate was close to zero? If nowadays people are finding riste themselves - then the divorce rate is through the roof too. Say you do get married and the cracks/differences begin to unearth - will you father and rest of family welcone you back with open arms? I doubt it. If you obey your father and hold faith in him and Waheguru I am certain your parents will find you a suiteable match.

There are several Sikh matrimonial websites now available:

https://m.sikhmatrimony.com/cbsmob/registration/register.php

 

https://sangatmatrimonial.org

 

Look in you local Gurughar for a matrimonial beureu. Be patient and do Ardaas. 

Harsh but honest thoughts from,

A happily married with 3 kids sister who was married through the GUIDANCE of her Guru and parents. 

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Guest guest
On 9/15/2019 at 5:33 PM, Guest Truth said:

Who cares what his father says. If you two are committed to each other and love each other that’s all that matters. It’s your life not your fathers. 

 

 

what a stupid thing to say.  would you like your child turning around and saying that to you?  

btw its not his father who objects its hers.

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