To Fellow Kaurs

[Deg_Teg_Fateh]

WJKK WJKF

K

[Deg_Teg_Fateh]

oops i clicked add topic by mistake,

here is my question... what do you do if you are being pressured by your relatives to hook up and all that c r a p... And personally you are NOT interested... (im still young and in the middle of school)Ignore them and disrespect them(which i want to)?? or what? ahh i m really mad right now coz they are getting on my nerves.

plz help...

pul chuk maf

WJKK WJKF

[Guest Sony]

Fateh,

It's really hard, once they get their mind set to it they want it to happen. Is there neone in ur family who u can talk with who can try to convince them.

I was in a similar situation, and you just have to sometimes say to them that you need to finish school, and find a job (have my own money, in my own bank account) so that i dont have to have a husband who says he did everything for me. its not disrespecting them, its trying to make them see that ur not ready for it yet. hopefully they will be able to understand where u are coming from.....

other than that... i dont know what can be done....

pul chuk maaf

Fateh

[S1ngh]

Sony said it right... Finish School first and then do whatever you like to.. I would say you can tell them really straight in serious that you won't even think of being getting hooked up till you graduate and so on.. Then tell them.. Come after graduation and then you will think if your are ready to choose the life partner or not... Make it sounds like Studying is really important to you and tell them rishtay stuff clashes with your concentration in your studies etc..

Wishing you good luck :umm:

[S1ngh]

Whoops.. Sorry.. i just read the topic heading.. "To Fellow Kaurs"

[Deg_Teg_Fateh]

ohh no problem, i shudn't have used that title

Really thanks for your reply, Im gonna convince them, see how it goes...

[Jaspaul Singh]

ohh no problem, i shudn't have used that title

Really thanks for your reply, Im gonna convince them, see how it goes...

Bhainji...

best of luck and do ur best on ur part to convince them... it can be reli hard sometimes on convincing parents and i guess expecially in ur case and expecially wit bibian.... believe it or not (majority will agree) its different wit guys then girls in indian families...

.... best of luck wit convincing them .... it does come down to after all what YOU yourself want ... guru sahib afterall, gave us a will to make our own decisions... no ?

bhul chuk maph!

[rKr]

Phenji,

The best thing you can do is like all the above, and be honest with them. I know from personal experience that it's like a constant worry for parents, and at the same time as fulfilling your own destiny, you want to uphold the expectations your parents have.

The thing is, when you reach a certain age, they already have a mind set - and have probably been thinking about it for a long time to "start looking" - to blatently answer no will destory a lot of their expectation in the worst possible way - but to actually speak with them on a level is another thing.

Tell them of your feelings, and that you're not saying you don't want to get married, or want them never to look, just that you have a few things you'd like to do before you get married.

BUT, remember what you say to them also, cos you'll pause their thoughts for a while, but as soon as you have done what you said you wanted to do, they'll start looking again, and it would be harder to convince them a second time.

So think clearly about what you want to do before marriage, and what things you could continue after marriage, and let them know about it, honestly. If anything, they'll respect you for being honest and not treading on the thoughts that, we all must remember they have had for many years.

my 2 pence worth

Bhul Chuk Maaf

[nimana]

Sony said it right... Finish School first and then do whatever you like to.. I would say you can tell them really straight in serious that you won't even think of being getting hooked up till you graduate and so on.. Then tell them.. Come after graduation and then you will think if your are ready to choose the life partner or not... Make it sounds like Studying is really important to you and tell them rishtay stuff clashes with your concentration in your studies etc..

Wishing you good luck :umm: