AmarjitKaur

Why become the inbetweeners? Inbetweeners always suffer. their suffering lies in being inbetweeners. When inbetweeners rise above being one, they won't suffer and won't have any questions anymore.

And how many of you Amritdhari or non-amritdhari boys or girls believe in Gurbani really?? What does guru sahib say in below lines then, understand it and follow it. ijin krqY krxw kIAw icMqw iB krxI qwh ] jin karathai karanaa keeaa chi(n)thaa bh karanee thaah || The Creator who created the creation, takes care of it as well. so krqw icMqw kry ijin aupwieAw jgu ] so karathaa chi(n)thaa karae jin oupaaeiaa jag || He, the Creator who formed the world, cares for it. SGGSji, ang 467 qU kwhy folih pRwxIAw quDu rwKYgw isrjxhwru ] thoo kaahae ddolehi praaneeaa thudhh raakhaigaa sirajanehaar || Why do you waver, O mortal being? The Creator Lord Himself shall protect you. ijin pYdwieis qU kIAw soeI dyie AwDwru ]1] jin paidhaaeis thoo keeaa soee dhaee aadhhaar ||1|| He who created you, will also give you nourishment. ||1|| ijin aupweI mydnI soeI krdw swr ] jin oupaaee maedhanee soee karadhaa saar || The One who created the world, takes care of it. Git Git mwlku idlw kw scw prvdgwru ]2] ghatt ghatt maalak dhilaa kaa sachaa paravadhagaar ||2|| In each and every heart and mind, the Lord is the True Cherisher. ||2|| SGGSji, ang 724 BeI prwpiq mwnuK dyhurIAw ] bhee paraapath maanukh dhaehureeaa || This human body has been given to you. goibMd imlx kI ieh qyrI brIAw ] gobi(n)dh milan kee eih thaeree bareeaa || This is your chance to meet the Lord of the Universe. Avir kwj qyrY ikqY n kwm ] avar kaaj thaerai kithai n kaam || Nothing else will work. imlu swDsMgiq Bju kyvl nwm ]1] mil saadhhasa(n)gath bhaj kaeval naam ||1|| Join the Saadh Sangat, the Company of the Holy; vibrate and meditate on the Jewel of the Naam. ||1|| SGGSji, ang 12

Kuriya are not gone anywhere, just somehow didn't click on the topic till now. As most of you already know. I am already married amritdhari, but was not when I married (both were not). So you can see all parts of the story through my eyes. Would I have considered amritdhari when I was looking for a husband?? Answer: NO ??:: Why not Answer: because I had no sikhi in me, except that I went to gurudwara every 2 months. went for langar or just for the sake of going to Gurudwara and matha tek, socialized, ate langar and came home and told mom who I met at Gurudwara. So if I couldn't imagine what sikhi is about, how I was going to accept the person who was amritdhari and was following it. I was not going to be appreciative of him being amritdhari. And I was not strictly sikh myself, so I was not going to be changing for him. becaue I was in denial of following sikhi at that time. Next question: Why didn't I marry a clean shaven so called sikh guy then Answer: I didn't limit myself to clean shaven or full bearded guys, but somehow had this GoD given attraction for bearded guys only. I call it GoD's play to have me go in more sikhi oriented family than my parents family. So i call it destiny. I was destined to walk on this path of SIKHI, thats why Guru Sahib let me marry only my husband whose parents were already amritdhari and slowly slowly the effect of Gurbani being recited in house, changed us (me and my husband) as well. Now to comment in general. If girls are not going for you because you are amritdhari, the answer lies in the fact that they don't wanna be following sikhism to the book. They wanna be just going to Gurudwara, to Gurpurb celebrations to mingle, to socialize, so that they can pretend to belong to sikhism. They are afraid of following the rehat. They are afraid that this Amritdhari guy would change them and they don't wanna change. Being actual follower of sikhism is to change your lifestyle to fit into sikhi principles, not to change sikhi to fit your lifestyle. But unfortunately, today's so called born-to-sikh-parents sikhs are doing the latter. So my suggestion to these Amritdhari brothers would be to stop wasting time for these girls. They are not worth it. Take it like this. Is a particular girl willing to give her head to GURU Sahib. iF answer is NO. then she is not worth it. If yes, then she WOULD like to get to know you better and you should be flexible too to compromise on other things except sikhi principles. Some of the amritdhari guys out there are too stuck on somethings as well. They want the perfect piece all ready to acquire for them. But when there is perfect piece, then they themselves fall short on somethings. The balance is being hard to achieve. Don't consider yourself to be best either. Because there are girls out there who follow sikhism better than you may be, so kill this ego in you. if there is some girl out there worth considering, get to know her little better. Give the process time. Things dont' unfold in one day or months. everything takes time. Rest as I always say. you will meet one day the one whose kids father you are going to be. So be patient. Leave things on GOD. Work on your sikhi as it never reaches perfection. There is always room for more to improve on. And when time comes, a girl will fall into your plate :-))

Simple. avoid that person. He/She talks to you for some reason, answer. But don't start conversations or meetings. Live in the world, where that person is not there for you (invisible to you). Sometimes its just best to go blind to some people for your own peace of mind. Move your focus to other things, issues, people, matters in your life than this person. Life doesn't end or revolve around one person only. There is so so so much in life and in world going on.

Guru jee, God, Waheguru Parbrahm, parmeshar the voice in you. aren't they all the same? The connection is missing you in HIM and HIM in you. See him through what you look at See him through what you say See him through what you do Gurujee is there always watching you cry for him if not realizing, that is only you. Ghat ghat vich oh zare zare vich oh tere vich oh. uhde vich tu did not Guru Gobind Singh say rightly tuhi tuhi tuhi tuhi tuhi tuhi bas sabh tuhi tuhi hai tu...........................

main kade kade sochdee aa, ke why don't we connect ourselves to the network God has created for us. Why don't we see ourselves as part of the network. WHy do we have doctors, car/cab drivers, engineers, scientists, chefs, teachers, postmen etc. etc.? Just go through your one days' needs. You get up, you need to brush your teeth. so you need toothpaste and brush. Somebody created that for the first time and keeps manufacturing it for all of us. Who are those people or the ones who operate those machines to make these things. And how do they learn one day how to make brushs/toothpastes etc. And then move on to taking your bath. You go in bathroom and turn on the shower. Who makes it possible to bring water to your faucet. How does it get there?? Think about the process, the machines the people responsible and how did they become able to get water to you?? Do you see GOD's presence and network HE has spread for us to make it all possible. Do you see education playing the part in becoming able to operate GOD's network. And what about clothes you wear day and night. and the car you drive the food you eat daily the gas you use for your car or bus you ride on, or train or bicycle you ride the university you go to, somebody built it using their building skills and it took lot of engineers/construction workers, designers etc. etc to finally put the building in place and your house or the gurudwara you go to. I haven't gone through whole system yet. Just this much should be good enough for you to ponder on. WHY AND HOW. and now relate yourself to it. IF you don't go to school and master in one of the skill of keeping the whole GOD's system operating and imaging about all the youngesters of your age thinking that way, are we going to have any engineers, doctors, bus drivers, teachers etc. etc in about 5-10 years from now ( I am considering you are either in your school or early years of college). So whats your contribuition towards GOD's operating system. Are you above GOD's operating system. If you think Nam japna is only thing you are supposed to do, then dont' consider yourself as Guru's sikh as our first GUru set the principle of Kirat karni and vand chhukna for us as well as he said Nam japna. you are denying the first principle. Second is Nam Japna and third is vand chhukna. Tell me if you still dont' feel like doing your part in operating the GOD's network. GOD is the director and we are the players or I should say actors in his drama of life. So do what you are supposed to do as outlined by GOD. Just keep these three principles in your mind always. Kirat karni Nam japna and vand chhukna and you would never feel demotivated and will be on track always in life.

Kulbir Veerji, excellent knowledge and lessons to be learned from the khazana you just shared with cybersangat. I am not a bibeki person yet, but certainly something to consider. WHO SAYS internet and SIKHI don't go together, if put to good use like this where we share the sikhi wealth.

and doesn't look like you want sikhi according to your own farmula. My farmula says, internet is one of the tool given to us, use it the right way, it could be your friend. But if you don't use it constructively, it could be your enemy as well. Bhaji, doesn't make sense to me what you saying. I have read few books online which some of the veerjis here put on scribd etc places. If I print it out, I never get to it. So I just keep it opened on line and read here and there whenever time allows. (thats means, I am lot of times on internet. But that doesn't mean I dont' do my nitnem, thats like eating my food). And what SunSingh veerji, suggested to do is a great idea for a free mind to work on and learn a thing or two onthe way. When we read stuff, everything doesn't really sink in our brains until we sit down and start to write something about it. Thats when we really go into the subject we are reading about. Why everybody has to be doctor? Thats a common indian parent disease forcing our kids to be a doctor. Why not let them figure out on their own while they are growing up. They will get to do one thing or the other as time will force them to. But occupying free time with learning something about religion is a great thing to do. And religion is something which you have not learned enough of it some day. Its ongoing process. So SINGH# veerji, by all means follow on SunSingh veerji's advice. and do read some online books already available online. Who knows what treasures you would find from bachan's of Sants, Gursikh which you might learn otherwise too but after going through hardships.

Hey is it possible you can do some chaupai sahibs when you feel down. Make some target for yourself and keep going until that target. When you reach that target, make another one and keep going like that. Eventually you will see the +ve change in your life. It may take some time, but don't let that demotivate you. Atleast you will be doing something to improve your situation, rather than letting it get worse.

You my friend seems to be bothered by either way you move on this situation. NOw you did make a move and you are still bothered by it. The solution is in two ways. 1. move on with your search of girls and start conversations at other places. That will get you in different boat of thoughts and take your mind off of the past situation and plus you may find a suitable girl this time. But please don't apply the same situations/cautions with next girl as all the humans are not same. Whatever you do now, consider it as fresh start. We, as humans, do tend to apply our past learnings into new situations even if they may not be relavant anymore. Every new girl you meet, is not going to be the girls you met before. There would be new kind of situations you would have to deal with. 2. or you can put the thought of finding a girl on hold for sometime. Enjoy your life and do other things in your life which demand your attention. Growing in your SIKHI could always use your time more efficitenly. hope it helped.

Here is advice for you. See if you can use it. You must have some hobby, wheather its drawing, knitting, coloring, painting, doing math puzzles, reading book, baking, cooking, or whatever in the world you keep your mind and hands busy with. These are the two parts of your body which direct you and make you do things. So keep them busy in these times of self harming. keep those hobby materials accessible to you. When mind directs you towards the urge of hurting you, pick up pen, cryons, color pencel and start dwelling on your hobby. Your mind and hands needs to be busy in those times. Slowly slowly you will get better handle on your these 2 body parts. Its all mind's game. You need to give a way out to mind's ideas and energy which flows with it. Try it. Even though you understand your problem, still mind is not under your control. you need to realize that time. You need to fight against it. To do that, you need to find a way out to let that energy/urge flow somewhere else. If nothing else, start exercising. e.g. some weight lifting or running on treadmill or on elliptical or go running outside. Whatever fits in your schedule/situation. And remember Guru is Ang Sang. Above all, do prayer to Guru Sahib to help you out with your situation, to connect you with bani not self-harming. Waheguru jee bhali karange. Listen to katha/keertan always. At times when you can't work on your hobbies, start reciting Chaupai sahib or do both at the same time. if chaupai sahib is not memorized, aim for 25 or more moolmantars. Mind is going to get entangled in counting and reciting bani correctly. it wont think of self harming any more.

Veerji/Bhenji, Neither birth is under your control nor the death. If you were not born as of your chioce, why do you think you have right to end this life. Life as a human is the gift to our souls to finally be one with our creator. Why would someone choose to waste it and then push it towards chaurasi lakh. Doesn't make sense to me. As we read in Rehraas sahib, BeI prwpiq mwnuK dyhurIAw ] bhee paraapath maanukh dhaehureeaa || This human body has been given to you. goibMd imlx kI ieh qyrI brIAw ] gobi(n)dh milan kee eih thaeree bareeaa || This is your chance to meet the Lord of the Universe. Avir kwj qyrY ikqY n kwm ] avar kaaj thaerai kithai n kaam || Nothing else will work. imlu swDsMgiq Bju kyvl nwm ]1] mil saadhhasa(n)gath bhaj kaeval naam ||1|| Join the Saadh Sangat, the Company of the Holy; vibrate and meditate on the Jewel of the Naam. ||1|| We don't have much in our control anyways in this lifetime, but if in life I really get stuck when I feel like things are just not going the right way as I think they should/as I desire them to, I leave it loose. I say to myself and to GOD, "babaji tuhade te chhudiya. Let my boat of life sail the way you want to. Nothing I can do to help the situation. Things don't happen the way I would like. Neither I know whats good or bad for me or for others. So just direct the show of my life as you would like to. Just help me to understand it and accept it. I beg peace of mind from you. let me live in your WILL. in your raza". And these lines always help without doubt. guru myrY sMig sdw hY nwly ] gur maerai sa(n)g sadhaa hai naalae || My Guru is always with me, near at hand. ismir ismir iqsu sdw sm@wly ]1] rhwau ] simar simar this sadhaa samhaalae ||1|| rehaao || Meditating, meditating in remembrance on Him, I cherish Him forever. ||1||Pause|| Look for full shabad here http://www.sikhitoth...p?ShabadID=1528 And read below please. Read all of it. iqlµg mhlw 5 Gru 3 ] thila(n)g mehalaa 5 ghar 3 || Tilang, Fifth Mehla, Third House: imhrvwnu swihbu imhrvwnu ] miharavaan saahib miharavaan || Merciful, the Lord Master is Merciful. swihbu myrw imhrvwnu ] saahib maeraa miharavaan || My Lord Master is Merciful. jIA sgl kau dyie dwnu ] rhwau ] jeea sagal ko dhaee dhaan || rehaao || He gives His gifts to all beings. ||Pause|| qU kwhy folih pRwxIAw quDu rwKYgw isrjxhwru ] thoo kaahae ddolehi praaneeaa thudhh raakhaigaa sirajanehaar || Why do you waver, O mortal being? The Creator Lord Himself shall protect you. ijin pYdwieis qU kIAw soeI dyie AwDwru ]1] jin paidhaaeis thoo keeaa soee dhaee aadhhaar ||1|| He who created you, will also give you nourishment. ||1|| ijin aupweI mydnI soeI krdw swr ] jin oupaaee maedhanee soee karadhaa saar || The One who created the world, takes care of it. Git Git mwlku idlw kw scw prvdgwru ]2] ghatt ghatt maalak dhilaa kaa sachaa paravadhagaar ||2|| In each and every heart and mind, the Lord is the True Cherisher. ||2|| kudriq kIm n jwxIAY vfw vyprvwhu ] kudharath keem n jaaneeai vaddaa vaeparavaahu || His creative potency and His value cannot be known; He is the Great and carefree Lord. kir bMdy qU bMdgI ijcru Gt mih swhu ]3] kar ba(n)dhae thoo ba(n)dhagee jichar ghatt mehi saahu ||3|| O human being, meditate on the Lord, as long as there is breath in your body. ||3|| qU smrQu AkQu Agocru jIau ipMfu qyrI rwis ] thoo samarathh akathh agochar jeeo pi(n)dd thaeree raas || O God, You are all-powerful, inexpressible and imperceptible; my soul and body are Your capital. rhm qyrI suKu pwieAw sdw nwnk kI Ardwis ]4]3] reham thaeree sukh paaeiaa sadhaa naanak kee aradhaas ||4||3|| By Your Mercy, may I find peace; this is Nanak's lasting prayer. ||4||3|| And I have a belief that when Vaheguru jee wants to give you something, he does put you through tough time. So take it as a test. And don't aim to fail it, but be ready to recieve what HE has to give you. Guru ang sang.

50 movies means 50X90min=4500mins =75 hours away from doing any sewa, any nitnem, any hard word to earn your living (how would you share if you dont earn). So you just overruled Guru Nanak Dev jee's 3 golden rules. I could never jap naam while I am watching movies. Even if I do here and there, it would be equivalent to may by half an hour total if put together out of 75hours. I have to pay attention to movie to get into it, other wise, why I am watching movie anyways. If I understand movie is maya, even worse, as I clearly know its made up pretending to be dramas, then whats the point// If you can do naam simra while watching movie then you are genious. My monkey mind goes on a ride somwhere else, even if I am sitting down to do simran only. Let alone while watching movie. Oh, I don't trust my monkey mind for that. I rather not give it lot of material to waste time thinking what happened in the movie I just watched.

Veerji, you made it?? Thats just amazing. I was just listening to Mahatam of Japuji Sahib this morning by Giyani Thakur singh jee. Brahmgiyan deN vaali bani aa.

As far as I know, THere are internal fights going on between mone sikhs and Amritdhari sikhs. Both claiming to be following sikhism in a better way. They are in courts about what can happen in gurudwara and what not. And other party saying who can enter gurughar and not. Finally, judge in court ruling that no swords allowed. Now, with judge's ruling, both parties not being happy. again, debate about is Kirpan symbol or a weapon?? You be the judge.

I havn't read what Shastr bhaji put the link for. So sorry for being anything getting repeated by me as you might have already learned from this site. Another disclaimer, I havn't got any santhiya yet, even though I really want to. What I have heard from kathas by different kathakars, Giyanis etc. that with santhiya first of all, you learn how to read the word correctly learning to pronouce the matra correctly and the alphabet correctly. Secondly, Bishram makes the huge difference in the meaning of the line. So both are very important.

Even though I cann't be a advocate for your problem. I am going to suggest general solution to lot of our problems. When we have any kind of problem (repetitive and us having lack of control on it), I think when we go hunting how to handle it, we end up increasing the problem, basically add more fuel to the problem. What, i think, usually works is the divertion of the mind. Apne aap nu kite hor busy kar lao. Get yourself busy with something else. Just stop thinking that you have this or that problem. Develop some new routine especially in those time periods when you face it most (remember I am talking about any problem, not only the particular you are mentioning, even though it would be very much applicable to your situation). Sometimes our mind gets stuck to the stupid and you need to get it out of that stupid box. So you need to create an another box for your mind to jump in and out of. What that other box could be, you figure it out depending upon your problem/situation.

Shastr jee, have to say, you are somewhat funny. hey thanx for making me smile. I am in terrible state right now as well. I am commenting on this thread because I am at both ends of it, a parent and a daughter to the parents who wanted the best out of this daughter. I don't think I disappointed my parents and I hope my kids would not disappoint me either. Today is especially a tough day for me, as my son appeared in some sikh symposium and didn't get any award. he worked hard for it and I worked double hard than he did being a parent. He is discouraged, threw away the participation trophy he got and hid away the ones he got previous years too. Those trophies lost meaning to him, the symposium lost meaning to him and he said "whats the point when stupid judges cann't even see how much you worked for it". I know I didn't like any of those actions he did, I didn't like him saying that he never wanna participate in the symposium competition ever again. But i told him, SINGHS dont' give up. Singhs dont' quit. SINGHS get up and get ready to compete even with more power (mental or physical) than ever before. If failure should teach us anything, that should be to work harder next time and don't give the judges a single chance to not to select you. BE the best. Now commenting on shastr bhaji's comments. YEs, parents love you, thats why you are the one they care about and you are the one they push to work harder, because they wanna see you succeed. They wanna see you the best out there. yes, sometimes you would fail to succeed according to their dreams, but that doesn't mean they will tell you "son, koi naa, fail hoyee jaa, koi gal nahi". INFACT, nobody would say that. WE have the competitions, symposiums, exams, deadlines around us, becuase they push us to work hard, learn more, dig more. If it was only upto eating roti and sleep and take bath and stuff, human race would still be in jungles, buring wood to cook leaves and fruits. To develop and succeed, one has to push himself to reach to that set goal. To the original poster, yes, you have to tell yourself, I am going to prove to my parents, or peers, or friends that I am THAT GOOD. That would bring the best out of you. Believe me, once you get there, you will like that fruit as well for which you would work harder.

Was it Guru Gobind Singh jee after seeing the martyrdom of Vadde Sahibzade in Chamkaur dee ghaRi that he said "Panth vase main ujjaRan, man chao ghanera" ?? Please let me know if you know for sure. Thank you.

Here is what I do and tell my kids to do when they bother each other sitting on dining table to get attention and get the other person in trouble. No, I am being serious. Think the other person doesn't exit for you. Period. That solves all the mind problems we get through. Yeah, it would be hard in the beginning to believe that when you would actually see him. But its for your best interst. You are only hurting yourself by putting yourself through it. But situation is not under your control either. So you need to divert your attention. Pick up on some hobby or build new relationships, or spend some extra time with old friends. The monkey mind has to be busy with something else than this repetitive turmoil of same thing over and over and over and over. as you are responsible for your karma and you have to stand at dharamRaj's court with your account of good and bad deeds, HE has to too. So you be responsible only for what you do and leave him upto DharamRaj to deal with him. As you sow, so you reap ape beej ape hee khah(u) so stop getting bothered by what he is doing or have done. The good thing out of all this is that you are no more fooled with his outer-side. Hope I gave you some peace. That's what we all want at the end of the day. Its very easy and very difficult to get at the same time.

Sometimes I just love sikhsangat, when I stay on topics like this rather than going on to political or where people turn the very good topic to hatred topic with just one statement. Hanji bhenji, whenever in pain or tyring to forget pain, and you don't have time to sit down and recite Sukhmani sahib or dukhbhanjani sahib, say this Gur merai sang sda hai naalei simar simar tis sda smalei guru myrY sMig sdw hY nwly ] gur maerai sa(n)g sadhaa hai naalae || My Guru is always with me, near at hand. ismir ismir iqsu sdw sm@wly ]1] rhwau ] simar simar this sadhaa samhaalae ||1|| rehaao || Meditating, meditating in remembrance on Him, I cherish Him forever. ||1||Pause|| qyrw kIAw mITw lwgY ] thaeraa keeaa meet(h)aa laagai || Your actions seem so sweet to me. hir nwmu pdwrQu nwnku mWgY ]2]42]93] har naam padhaarathh naanak maa(n)gai ||2||42||93|| Nanak begs for the treasure of the Naam, the Name of the Lord. ||2||42||93|| just keep saying it and think about Guru Arjun dev jee sitting on garam tavi. your pain will go away. waheguru waheguru waheguru waheguru waheguru.

Here you go. You got answers to your prayers. So I don't need matrimonial/gursikh match kind of site anymore. I was sweating for nothing :-)) or may be I still need something for people in USA :-)) What you say?? :-)) But somehow I know more guys than girls who are looking for life partner. girls, out there, could you increase my girl database as well please. I can only help you if I know more girls to balance out. sometimes I wonder if killing the girls in mother's womb is showing the results now and there are not really that many girls out there as there are boys. We gotta stop killing the girls.

Bhaji, you have to do your own search. He is having tough time himself, how can he help you? But on other side, its also possible, that for one or the other reason, if things don't work out between him and some gursikh bibi, he can suggest your name to him. Not a bad idea, hunh?? telling you guys, I need to start a matrimonial site, where all you guys share everything with me, honestly, photos, bio data etc. and I screen them and then do the matching accordingly. wanna help me open up a site?? In return for my time and analysis, you all give me a Shaster as a present if things work out fine. Tuhade ghar vas jaaNge, te meree shasters dee collection ho jaaoo :-)) No need to invite me for your wedding :-)) What you say?? There are about 10 other people I know who are looking for a gursikh match or so. its about time I have a database created about all of you:-))

Just keep one thing in mind when you see others reacting the ways you referred above. "YOU are the daughter of Guru Gobind Singh jee" they are not. That alone should raise your confidence enough, that you should never feel weak in front of the whole world' men or women looking down upon you. I look different now than before and I face the sikhs,non-sikhs, men, women as you do. I know people who feel bad about what they couldn't be, and I know people who think what a face. But all I know by being what I am, I am following my Guru's hukam and they are not. I am being the good daughter of my father and they are not. Being the good daughter myself doesn't give me right to look down upon others, but it gives me confidence to keep my spirits up.

Here is my opinion, very blunt. Look elsewhere. You can't have a comfortable lifelong relationship with this girl, when you will be doubting all the time and wanting to find out what else she may have hidden from you. Husband and wife's relationship is very close relationship which have to be built (its not blood relationship where you feel for each other naturally as for your parents, siblings etc.). So my advice. stop this back forth communication with her. You have turned to be an investigator about her in the beginning because of one lie. you will be investigating for the rest of your life. Husband wife ask each other this question million times (may be more than what I quoted :-)) in their lifetime "Do you love me?" How many times you would trust her when she would say "yes,I do love you". I see slim chances for you. so forget it man.