Not2Cool2Argue

Search this forum on how to combat kaam

I think u got a very good deal. You have an easygoing husband who does not interfere with ur life. And the attention and affection u want, u will get it from ur child. I think u shud also get a job, so u r not so bored and can make other friends so u can have fun n go to theater with other ladies. Try to make friends at gurudwara too, so u can maybe go to their house. Also if he doesnt talk, u try talking to him. Tell him how lonely u feel n that u r bored. Also say humbly that i am not at the level u r at, i am at a lower stage, please explain sikhi to me. And then if u get bored say so, say sorry my mind has already heard this and gets bored. Please forgive me and lets talk about other things or say instead of explaining, show me something amazing. You can also try to improve ur own sikhi as well. Start meditating with him. Then ask real questions. Also u r about to be a mother so u need to start doing alot of extra bani and simran. Sant sundar singhs mom used to do two nitnems. One for her and one for the child in her womb. Also go to the park and exercise. It will make u happier. Also tell ur husband that u would like to take care of the money. That way u can save some for a house.also learn how to cook canadian food like cakes without eggs,veggie burgers, pasta. Also i think u should learn more about sikhi. Ppl from india dont know much usually. They think doing nitnem is enough. They dont know why they r doing nitnem. So please read bhai veer singh jis books on vidhia.com. Or listen to pyare jio by bhai veer singh on youtube. And u can ask ur husband, how he got to this stage. How he became interested in sikhi and naam simran. this will give u something to talk about with him. If u could post about his life and his journey to God on here, it will be great. We will learn alot There r really good movies made by vismaad called Sundri, Bhai Taru Singh etc. You should buy them online or from panjabi stores or from nagarkirtans. They r really good movies and even ur husband wont mind watching them with you. He might even like them. U should learn to drive so u can go to places like movies without ur husband. And u could go to gurudwara or u could make ur husband take u there. There u can have fun gossiping, doing langar sewa, and talking to ppl.

If u are looking for some bani to help u out, do as many paaths of japji sahib, sukhmani sahib and shabads. Also do ardaas, its very important. Also do dukh bhajani sahib

I think its.the hormones. If.u dont get back to normal mentally or physically after a month or so, get ur hormone levels checked, sometimes there is an imbalance that can lead.to diseases too. Also take iron and other supplements to help with weakness

There r many persian accounts. Look those up. They have been translated into english. Look at court jewels of guru gobind singh facebook page. They have alot of stuff

It is a crime to let abuse continue. So u need to put a.stop.to it. But arguing, dighting back will.not work, i think. It will just create greater tension in. The household and more fights with ur poor mom probably caught in the middle. Please dont blame ur mom. She had no options. I admire her she did so.much under the circumstances. In india she could not leave ur dad cuz she had no way to support herself. So if she left ur dad, she would be a burden on her parents and she could not support her children. Still she stood up against him and took u to doctors. But u do have options. U r in the UK and can support urself. So set a goal. That u will not tolerate abuse. So u can try fighting back but i dont think it will work. So wat u have to do is get a job and start saving so that u can move out. And then convince ur mom to move out as well. That will really serve ir dad right. When he is all alone and has noone to vent his abuse on. Also take ur brother with u, if u can. But be careful, lots of time biys learn how to be abusive and controlling from their dad. So see if ur bro is turning into ur dad or not. If he is, leave him. So even if ir depressed, try. I know it will be hard, but try. U have a goal to get out of this abuse and to get ir mom and bro out too. Also to make enough money to pay for depression meds. So start working with these goals in mind. Also do paath, there is bani that helps.with kalesh in the house. Read Gauri M:5 Thir ghar baiso shabad and aukhi ghari na dekhan dei. Also do japji sahib and sukhmani sahib if possible. Most importantly tho, pray, beg, guruji to help u. To help u get out of this abuse. Cry to god and he will listen.

B Yes happens alot. Thats why Misterrsingh was being so harsh on OP. Ppl take amrit but continue doing anti-sikh behavior even at holy places and events! This hurts sikhi image and ive heard lots of ppl say why should i take amrit when amritdharis r so bad, they go after girls, they lie a lot, and cheat in business. In fact theres a saying that goes amridharis have more wals (twists, crooked) in their heart than they have wals in their kashere..thats why we need to be harsh on sikh ppl who do these things whether it be out of ignorance or on purpose. So Jacfsing2, next time someone says something harsh or "judgemental", let it be. (as long as its not unkind or personal attack) everyone has different experiences in life and so different advice and opinions. Dont go around saying thats too harsh or judgemental. If u think its too harsh then address the OP in a kind way and give them nonjudgemental advice. Dont start arguing with other ppl about how.wat they said was judgemental. Like how sikhni did. In her post, she says some ppl have forgotton how to be 15 and r stick in adulthood. That is a better way to tell someone they r being judgemental. However, Misterrsingh's post about chick and fat sighnis was inappropriate and harsh and judgemental and personally attacked the OP. And so berserk was.right in calling him out on it. And saying it was a joke, seems like Misterrsingh's way of an apology (though a bit of a cop out as well Sorry for the personal examples. Plz dont take them as.personal attacks.ll Just didnt like how posters were arguing with each other. That seems to diminish the credibility of our advice So i thought to make an example.of u all. 8-)

I heard damdami taksal will be doing katha of chandi di vaar at bangla sahib. Please tune in as bangla sahib as international tv and radio channels. I think education is the only way to avoid another split in the panth. We have to step up our efforts before the dasam granth issue becomes as polarizing as the raag mala issue. So plz spread the word about the katha and listen to it urselves. Im sure it will eliminate doubts in ppls minds that chandi di vaar is devi puja. The anti dasam granth ppl have such good arguments, they play on sikh fears about devi puja and pornography. We need solid, one liner arguments back, that proof them wrong

There was a really good blog called NaamJor. It has been taken down tho sadly. I hope the author can see how much it is needed...hint..hint

Compassion and daswand and other westernized words r needed. Just saying nirbhau nirvair, does not make one fearless and hateless. One has to work on it and it is a hard slow path. Small steps like remembering to have compassion and remembering to give dasvand help. One of the core concepts of sikhi is to earn an honest living. To support oneself and share with others the extra. How is one supposed to earn a living, support onself, if we refuse to enter the money economy? Sikhs r supposed to be educated, contributing members of society.We r not supposed to be ascetics or hermits living in the jungles or mountains. Money is not bad. Maya is not bad. They r all tools. We should train our mind not to be engrossed in these tools but to use them wisely for the betterment of society.

manvirsingh.blogspot.com- has really inspirational stories and sakhis. Also has informational articles qbout sikh history and philosophy (im not sure i got the website address right tho. Just google Manvir Singh Blog) Try basicsofsikhi on youtube gurmatbibek.com- has really good articles n sikh literature and forum (be careful tho. This site supports sarbloh bibek n tapobani lifestyle) sikhnet.com-has updated news about sikhs from around the world. Sikh movies created by sikh youth. Really good gurbani media center (be careful tho. This site supports yoga n 3HO lifestyle) princeofpanjab- is a really good site. I forgot whether it was a blog or website. Just google it My favorite is searchsikhism.com-the personal stories and testemonials r very inspiring Theres also vidhia.com, ikatha.com, damdamitaksal.com, and gurbanicds.com. just google sikh websites or sikhi or sikh history or Guru Nanak Dev Ji. Google different personalities every week from sikh history. U will learn more about them n find different websites for example: sant nand singh ji nanksar, sant jarnail singh ji bhindranwale, sant attar singh ji mastuane, sant singh ji maskeen, bhai taru singh, bhai sahib bhai randhir singh ji, jaswant singh ji khoji, sewa singh tarmala, dodar sahib, harmindar sahib

When asked wat religion is the best just say im sorry i cant answer that question as i am obviously biased towards sikhi. If i didnt think sikhi was the best, i wouldnt be a sikh. BUT i dont go around thinking everyone who is not a sikh will go to hell. Who goes to hell is not decided by me but by God, and frankly wat religious label u put on urself doesnt matter to him. You will be judged on ur actions/deeds/thoughts. And there have been evil sikhs who probably went to hell i.e. beanta....so ultimately ask urself does ur religion teach u to do good actions/deeds/thoughts n to remember god?if it does then its a good enough religion, now u just have to follow it.

I just did the trek on Aug 16. You need a driver to take you to uttrakhand state all the way to gobindghat gurudwara. It takes 3 or 4 days of driving from panjab. We stayed at gurudwara rishikesh and paonta sahib on the way. (The driver asked us for 35,000 rupees but someone told us the normal rate is 20,000 for a big tempo traveler. If u get small car. Shud be less)Then theres a 13 km trek to gobinddham. It takes about 5-7 hours to do depending on your speed. Stay the night at gurudwara gobinddham then next morning start trek early at six am or so.cuz if u want to see all 7 nishaan sahibs, u have to beat the fog which roles anywhere from 10-12. So this last trek is 6 km, but its really hard trek becuz its very steep and its cold. And it was raining for us, so we got all wet n were freezing, my feet got red n swollen, thought i was gonna get frostbite. So wear chapla or sandles, dont wear shoes cuz they will become wet and waterlogged. Unless u can afford expensive boots that wont get waterlogged. Try to get footwear with traction so u dont slip. Take extra clothes in waterproof bag. Cuz our clothes got wet n dirty (there is donkey poop everywhere) but when we tried to change, our bag had gotten wet n so had our extra clothes.it was miserable. So leave ur bag at gobinddham, so it wont get wet on the trek, leave another bag with clothes at gobindghat. Also buy those plastic raincoats or take a good raincoat of ur own. Take a lot of rupees cuz those mountain ppl charge for everything. Only free stuff is at gurudware. Take a water bottle on the trek, cuz water gets more expensive the higher u get. Also u have to head down from hemkunt sahib b4 noon, cuz too little oxygen n it gets cold. U might want to take ur own blankets n sheets if u mind smelly, old things. But then carrying them might get hard. And the donkey ppl ask for 700-1000 rupees to carry ur stuff..make sure to keep in shape and practice 19 km or 9 mile hikes b4 the attempt. I mean with gurus kirpa even old ladies with canes can finish the trek, but when ur doing the trek, a kind of fear takes hold that i have to make it b4 dark n ppl start ignoring the beautiful scenery n just rushing, n it can leave u feeling despondent n sucks ur energy, esp the cold. Also Hemkunt sahib is not the tap asthan of guru gobind singh, it was the ishnaan isthaan. Guruji did tap even higher than this n would come down to where hemkunt sahib is to do ishnaan. Hence the sarover. Some ppl say theyve climbed higher to see tap asthaan but idk, i didnt see any trails leading to it

This is growing in the US. Panjabis/indians are doing spam calls to panjabi households selling lotteries, loans n other stuff

Try concentrating on the meanings of bani...try to understand wat ur reading/saying. .if dont know meanings n cant understand panjabi then try to read english translations. If dont have time to read gurbani and its english translations do 1 pauri everyday with meanings. Then try to match the meaning with the gurbani words. That way over time u will learn meanings of gurbani words like ਭਾਉ mens love then, gurbani will make sense and u can understand it while u read it. Also try to get santhiya Also giani kulwant was saying to stay focused, do path faster n faster until u have to really concentrate to say it and hear it. Also u know how one part of mind is reading bani n the other is thinking thoughts. Make the other part of ur mind think waheguru simran.so u will doing simran with gurbani. to learn more abt this google gurmatbibek and simran with gurbani

Muslims also believe God is supposed to be merciful. However where they differ from us is that they think God will only allow muslims into heaven. All else will burn. But Christians believe the same thing and they r not as violent anymore. (Also some sikhs also believe that only amritdhatis can get mukt.) So i dont think it is only their religious belief that is making them violent. It is because they see themselves of victims of western terror. So they become frustrated and want to bring the same terror to the west. They forget that God is watching and will punish the evildoers, they r desperate to get vengeance. Even sikhs got so desperate n frustrated during the fight with indian govt that some decided to kill innocents. The air india attacks. I know many say it wasnt sikhs who did it. Even if that is the case tho, the reaction of normal sikhs is telling. My dad tells me how him and his friends n all sikhs he knew, whether moneh or not, were very happy. Finally we showed the indian govt, we won! But when i tell him wat abt the innocents killed? He said we didnt think of them, we just thought about how it is a blow to india. It is the same with muslims except that they can believe that killing kaffers can get them heaven. So its mostly nationalism mixed in with religion in a crazy psychotic mess

The panj usually give seva or paath as punishment so dont worry. Also please listen to bhai vir singhs letters called pyare jio.heres a link: http://www.gurbaniupdesh.org/multimedia/listing.php?q=f&f=%2F01-Audio+Books%2FPyare+Jio But u can find them on youtube,vidhia.com Also watch on youtube BasicsofSikhi and Bhai Sukha singh UK In addition.u can listen to bhai pinderpal singh, sant maskeen singh, giani kulwant singh. There r many resources online now. But the letters of bhai veer singh r kost helpful Also try to do simran n sukhmani.sahib if possible

I have been watching tarek fatah. I dont know what to make of him. Its nice to see a muslim standing up and talking against shariah n all the things wrong in islam. But he is extremely liberal. He wants pakistan to be eradicated, he thinks india is the best thing in the world, and he wants seperation of religion n state. Hes a panjabi...he also hates saudi arabia. However he wants india to stay together so he would be against khalistan. He also wants to modernize religion

I think you need to have a talk with your sister. Take her away from family and ask her what the problem is. Then she will tell u about all the little things they said this to me. They do this to me. Let her talk. Dont interrupt. Then when shes finished ask her wat the real problem is, the underlying problem. Tell her u have been making everyone dukhi and tang long before these issues. And there is always some issues in families, why dont u try to ignore them or solve them? Why come running to ur parents house everytime n make big deal? What is real problem? If she says oh its not me. Its not my fault, they do this to me. Then ask her so if its their fault. Wat will make u happy? Moving away? Divorce? Seperating a whole nice family? See if ahe has valid arguments. Becuz it seems like u might be believing the inlaws story. Like the durani saying i just told her to make cha cuz she was standing nearby or husband saying my mom politely asked for the cha. Ask ur sisters side of the stories. If she feels really wronged and has good reasons then support her and believe her but If her stories.dont make sense or are.not valid arguments. Then tell her u dont believ her how she is making everyone unhappy and bothering them. Tell her our parents married u to a good place, u r not poor, nobody beats u up, or keeps u under. You have no work to do except cooking. So our parents married u off please stop coming back n making them unhappy. Solve ur problems urself. Also if u keep acting like a drama queen n creating issues then ur in laws will get tired of u and will never come to take u back if u keep running to us over small problems. Tell her wat ur jija said that i will stay with family not follow the girl. Also tell her if she doeant behave u will not call her to outside to US or wherever. If she still wont back down n keeps arguing with u. Tell her u disrespected our mom. U pushed her and called her bad words. From now on we will not pick up ur calls or come visit u. Stay at ur in laws n solve the problems urself. You r using and abusing us. You use us.to run to.us and make big deals out.of things. We will.not.let.u do this. Goodbye. U r a married woman,act like an adult, siannee, ignore hurtful things. All bahoos tolerate some.issues. tell her.to save her marriage,b4 its.too late. Also tell her ever since.u were young, u like to get revenge and create drama. And that she is still.doing same.thing. tell.her to.grow.up. then leave.her back at inlaws house and tell ur parents to ignore her calls becuz we r just spoiling her n causing more issues. Ofc only do this after u have heard her side of the story and know she is wrong.

So that essay was trying to explain how dairy was ethical at times of the gurus and still can be.

Guruji was against cruelty and exploitation but not for or against certain diets. So we r to make the decision about what is ethical what is not. Guruji did not give us too many rules or guidelines like other religions have about what to eat, how to eat ie kosher halal etc. Thats why some sikhs eat meat some dont cuz guruji wasnt specific about it. Also B12 can only be found in animal sources so in the olden days ppl had choice to either drink milk or eat meat to get B12. Ofc ppl didnt know wat Vitamin B12 was but they knew wat they had to eat to be healthy. So milk is more of an ethical choice than meat, and in turn the cow was given quality care. I have seen it, cows r bathed everyday, brought fresh food and water in India. Also cows r not impregnated in India or at least not forcefully impregnated, they r allowed to naturally mate in India. Ofc the dairy farms in the west esp USA r horrible. So sikhs should not support western dairy farms. Also this vegan diet debate about what is ethical or not is very old. This debate was fierce at the time of guru nanak dev ji. There were Vaishnavs who did not eat animals or meat because they feel pain, then there were Jains who did not eat meat or root vegetables like onions carrots because it killed the whole plant and even plants are living beings, then there were dudadharis who didn't eat any plants or animals because they r all living beings, they only drank milk because it caused the death of no living being. Guruji made fun of this debate n this obsession with being overly concerned about ethical eating in his shabad Maas Maas kar Moorakh chagare. In this debate ppl r wasting their lives n not concentrating in Naam their main purpose. So a sikh tries their best but does not become obsessive with doing ethical things cuz we have to believe this world is fake, illusion drama and transitory so we should try our best to make it better but theres a.more.important goal. Also everything is in hukam so everything that god.does is.good. Anyway so i think parshaad can be made with any oil, cuz there r some sikh vegans here and i think they should.do that. But usually they dont eat.at the gurudwara at all, they r also bibeki. Also the reason sikhs and indians consider milk to be ethical is because cows were treated ethically. #1 concern from vegans is that male calfs r killed in dairy farms as r old.cows who cant give milk. In india the male calfs were used as bulls and mating so werent killed and it was considered paap to kill any cow at all. That is why cows r sacred in india, because it is the only animal indians enslave and use. So to make sure it is never mistreated they made it sacred. So its a paap to kill cows or kick them out when they get old. Many ppl do kick out cows when they too old so they made Gaoshalas, cow shelters. Recently hindus were getting upset n rioting becuz some dairies were selling old n male cows to butchers in other countries. Alot of ppl made fun of those hindus that they saving their cow mother Gao Maa, but really if they allowed this to happen, their milk is not ethical any longer. #2concern of vegans is that cows are mistreated. In india they r not. Everyone kept at least one cow an took care of it as a pet. Because if it got sick then no milk. And like i said before no impregnation. Also calfs r allowed.to drink milk for at least a month. Another concern is that cows r milked so much, they lose health. You see, the calf starts eating grass n drinks less n less milk so it stops or the cow weans the calf by hitting him if he tries to drink milk. So then the cow dries up n no more milk comes. But if we keep milking the cow, the cows body thinks calf still needs it and so will keep producing milk for many years. To make sure the cows health is not negatively affected,the cow is feed good quality strengthening foods. And after a while the cow will dry up herself or the owners let her dry up so she can regain strength and so they can mate her again.however in india they r giving upthe old ways n starting to build western styke dairies where cows r locked up and fed grain. Concern#3 vegans think animal ownership is cruel. I think its a mutual relationship. You know one of those symbiotic relationships found in nature. We get milk, they get quality care. Also since land is diminishing cows might become extint or endangered if left in the wild. Also cows r domesticated n might not be able to survive in wild so need humans. Buffaloes ofc r wild animals and not domesticated. But they face habitat lose. So i think cows if treated right can be viewed as pets. Dogs became pets because we gave them food n they gave us protection/warning. Cats ate mice for us n we fed them. Also even dogs r chained on lease sometimes.

Also if u r getting rash from the kara, make sure ur kara is dry. If u keep a wet kara on ur arm u will get rash. So after taking a bath or washing hands, dry ur kara

Ya it would take a whole lifetime. That's wat pandits of old did though. And thats why calling someone 108 was a big deal cuz learning 108 granths is a big deal.q

They would have left immediately and boycotted the program probably saying something like jithe sikha de dushmana nu sanmaan kita jaanda othe sikha nu ke melega? Or so i imagine...But honestly, why are u on the offense? Cant u defend and argue the allegations thrown at Baba Harnam Singh instead of pointing at other sants? I do thank you for telling us that Baba Harnam Singh told off Badal for inviting Alam, as I didnt know that. But what about other allegations, and what about this attack on Dhadrianwala? I have heard negative things about Baba Harnam Singh (BHS) ever since he became jathedaar. But i ignored them saying, its just talk, he hasnt done anything wrong... But now it seems like he has, there just is no good reason for dhadrianwala attack. And the explanations like he's anti dasam granth or he hob knobs with missionaries or he spoke against taksal or that he hurt someones shaan, just arent cutting it. Sant Jarnail Singh beat up Amrik singh for doing long rehraas sahib cuz it would hurt the unity of the panth. And here sikh leaders r advocating murdering sikhs just because of personal attacks and shaan. Also refusing to apolozise cuz he started it first.i mean ur ppl killed one of his and u still cant say sorry? It just looks so silly and makea BHS seem like he is wrong/guilty People pls stop the insults. the name calling and making fun of ppls looks is very lame. It means u dont have strong enough arguements. And u r prroving that society is very fickle just cuz of one news story, u ppl get swayed and start calling ppl fakes n totally doin nindya. Dont follow the crowd.news stories change. If tomorow he does good, with the same mouth u will have to eat ur words. Innocent until proven guilty. Dont follow media hype

I think it was supposed to mean you have studied 108 religious texts