kcmidlands

It's understandable that you wanted to be closer to your roots fella but sometimes out roots are right in front of us, i'm not say you would have found the perfect bride from the country you were born and bred in, but at least there wouldn't have been a cultural divide, when getting married our religion is important but if the two people are culturally different then you are asking of heartache. I'm glad you have found some salvation and escape in Gurbani but at some point your going to have to face the problems in your marriage. Whatever you do fella, good luck with it and keep your head up.

Is there any [articular reason you decided to get married in India, it's been discussed countless times on this forum, especially about the cultural differences with Punjabi's in India and those of use that are born and bred in other countries, did you try and find a wife from the same country that your from. The only way you'll find resolution is communication, at some point she'll have to hear what your saying, how you communicate is up to you, you will need her parent's to listen to you as well, if they don't listen directly then i'd suggest getting an older family member to do the talking, the last hing any parent wan't (especially in India) is their married daughter being dropped off back in the pind because the marriage did't work. If you want to take the route of making threats, telling her you'll cancel her visa, you'll get married again and god know's what else has been mention then that's up to you fella, in my experience things like that will tend to cause more harm than good. On a side note, i'd love to know how many people who give marital advice here are actually married and understand exactly how much hard work goes into a marriage to make it work, I've been married for over 16 years and we still argue, bicker and fight, it's human nature but we always find a resolution and more importantly know what our boundaries are, we've been through the "making threats" phase, it doesn't work, trust me. It's commendably that you take your laavan seriously, your right, for some people it is just done for show.

I'm in the UK, we're used to plastic bottles.

I always found it strange that the milk come's in plastic bags, i was okay with Buffalo milk when i was young, as I've gotten older and used to cow's milk in the west i get issues when i have buffalo milk in India know, i think that goes for most food in India, out bodies become accustomed to a western diet and we have trouble digesting food in India.

As well as whats already been said i think it depends on how tough your stomach is, some people can eat and drink anything and they'll be fine, other's will get the run's at the drop of a hat. I was also cautious of dairy, we would get cow's milk as opposed to buffalo and avoid ice cream (no easy thing).

I take it we're talking about this Alexandra Aitken. There's a thread about her on this forum somewhere.

I thinks it's about good and bad energy, if you have a lot of arguments, are always negative, you will attract bad energy and all the baggage that carries, call them spirits, ghosts or whatever. Another theory is we may be seeing echoes of other people living on the same plane but slightly ahead or behind in dimensional time, a Muslim friend of mine described Jinn like that, they live peacefully among us but we rarely see them because they are in another time dimension, food for thought. I have heard the Suleiman recording, the first time i heard it i was at a friends house up in Sheffield, his granddad played it for us pretty late at night and explained it to us, only problem was i had to drive back home in the middle of the night back south, i was bricking it all the way home. I've heard it many times since, no reason to believe it was false. I've got no idea why the op want's to beat up a ghost though, maybe it's on his bucket list.

I don't think that, i've seen plenty in my life to know something else is out there, but lately I've looked for answers in gurbani and even though i don't understand it all, it does explain a lot of it.

Where the hell do you work man, in the Tower of London or something.

They did have one, it was between 1858 and 1947.

Our neighbours when i was young used to be Muslim, the ones next door were from India (Gujrat) and were the nicest people and were polite, the ones opposite were Pakistani, there's nothing the waking up in the morning and hearing the father in that house stand outside and call his kids every *****chod word under the sun and his kids would reply in kind, the folks weren't best pleased when we used to ask them what they meant though, yeah, it is their culture, amongst other things.

This is the unfortunate thing, most people I've spoken to about this (and this includes myself) aren't surprised that it happened and that's something that is more concerning than anything else What tactics, he walked into a mosque and started indiscriminately shooting at everyone, end of, he had no formal training, nothing, when your sat on the outside it's easy to say "we could do this or that" but when the majority of us are put in that situation, half of your body will go into shock because it can't process what's going on. Now what will happen is some crazy Jihadi type will strap bombs on themselves and try and kill as many people as they can as vengeance for what happened, and rinse and repeat. Your not the only one who's noticed this.

What are you going to learn from watching a video of a deranged white supremacist killing a load of innocent people, some of who were children, please enlighten us all, the guy had no criminal record and kept under the radar. At the end of it all, 50 people are dead, that's what people need to focus on, not wanting to watch a video of them being killed.

I'm not a fan of his, saw him in concert and I don't think a single artist has come close to him when it comes to performance, personal view. Never did try to moonwalk, maybe it was a thing they did down and around London.

As a performer the guy was amazing, to this day no one can put on a show the way he did but he's been elevated to such a high level that the idea of him doing anything wrong is something no one can bear to hear about. The documentary was one-sided so you have to bear that in mind when you watch it but when you have guys like Louis Theroux saying he was probably a pedophile then you listen because he calls it out the way it is, a grown man sleeping with young kids, Nah mate, that's got wrong written all over it.

It's different now though, whereas before a couple, even if they had marital problems, would stay married for the sake of the wider family and izzat, today couples seem to cry foul at the smallest of arguments or problems. I've been married for over 17 years, there's been plenty of arguments, problems, and god knows what else, there have been point's in my marriage where I have considered separation because the arguments where so bad (and we have young children so that makes it even worse), but throughout it all I've tried to sort out problems and make things work. Marriages are hard work, don't let anyone tell you differently and to add to that we have one of the worst communities out there who clap and cheer when you fail and commiserate you when you win.

I know Harjap personally, some of the stuff he's told me makes me ashamed to be Punjabi, the kind of stuff your embarrassed to tell even your mates it's that bad. I know guys who have gotten married in India, it's a mixed bag, some of them are still married, one or two divorced, the common theme with them is that they got married thinking they are marrying a Punjabi girl but it was a different type of Punjabi girl, culturally we are different to people in Punjab, our "Soch" and "Vichar" as the elders say is different, In the same way we have an assumption the girls or guys from punjab are traditional because thats the impression the Tv/Cinema gives us they are the same, and when reality sets in both parties get a shock. Whats happening in Punjab (and India in general) is what happens if you repress a society to much and all of a sudden they discover there's more too life than being bought up to be a good housewife or a hard working husband.

No they didn't, but they always lived with the fear of it, I think that's the point i'm trying to make, the Government, while right in what they are doing, are on very thin ice, look at what they did with the Windrush generation. Your right, but i wouldn't trust the UK government as far as i could throw them.

I remember when my grandparents used to keep a packed suitcase on top of the cupboard, when i used to ask them why, they would say, roughly translated "we don't know when the white folk might kick us out, it's their country after all", not saying it will happen, but i don't think our grand parents were stupid, they travelled all the way from India and set up in a foreign country, maybe they knew something we don't.

Can't say i completely disagree with what's happened to her, she came across with no remorse and a privileged attitude (something which is far too common amongst the younger "snowflake" generation, example, we've messed up but you have to forgive us, is doesn't matter how bad we've messed up) but something interesting came up on my twitter feed last night, if they can do this to her (she was stripped of her nationality based on her ability to claim the original nationality of her parents) there is a chance the government can do it to anyone of use brown folk for any reason they like, makes for interesting though.

Did it ever occur to you and anyone else with this mindset that maybe the person in question just isn't ready to commit fully to Sikhi and he's showing his love for it by doing what he's doing. Your professing your love of Sikhi by tearing down others and judging them because they don't meet your idea or exacting standard of what you think Sikhi means.

Amazing photo's, i remember my Grandfather telling me when i was younger (and he was still around) that most of the old architecture has either all but gone or been whitewashed in India, if you want to see building's like this then there a a fair amount in Pakistan, it's a shame that more's not done to preserve them in he original state.

I had to google it, it looks amazing....

I want to say i find this hard to believe but I've seen this kind first hand and it's absolutely disgusting. In a situation where there are no kids i can just about understand (not that i agree), but cutting off ties with your grand kids because your son has passed on shows what people's mentality is, in cases I've seen (on in particular) the grandparents turned up 20 years wanting a relationship with their grandson (the situation was pretty similar to the one described above), suffice to say, it didn't end well, point being, we do things out of anger, jealousy, ego or whatever but don't realize the long term consequences.

It took Canada nearly 100 years to apologise and even then it was a fairly Liberal Prime Minister ans party, every country has their own demons, it's just that in this case England has more than most.