Marriage

[SINGH20]

My friend has an relation with a girl. They are not Amritdhari, but planning to take Amrit after their marriage. They DO NOT have / had physical contact.

In the past that girl had an relation with an another boy, it didnt turn out to be something what she was waiting on. He did many bad things to her. They didnt have any physical contact. Because the relationship was ended, her parents made a deal that she would be kicked out from the house if they didnt marry.

Some family gave her shelter and she is now working and building up her own home.

After that, the girl has been blackmailed and set under pressure by the old guy and he spreads hatred against that girl. She feels very down ( mentally & physically ) , people keep asking her to tell whether the guy is right or why he is telling weird and disrespecting things about that girl.

My friend now wants to marry that girl, but that girl is scared... the circumstances she lived in made her not trusting any boy...

My friend is going to tell his parents. As we all know, our sociecty doesnt accept girls who live on their own ( they think she ran from her parentes home, NOT TURE!!)...work independently...and many stories going about her.

In the very case, that the parents will ignore that girl because of her background and past... she asked the boy to choose for parents and not for her self.

But my friend just want to marry her... he loves her too much

What is a good approach sadh sangat ji?

[Amrit]

VAHEGURU JI KA KHALSA VAHEGURU JI KI FATEH !!

TAKE HUKUM SEE WOT GURU JI SAYS ABOUT IT.............IF GURU JI WANTS THEM TO B TOGETHER THEY WILL B NO MATTER WOT...

I THINK THIS POSTED IS SUITED TO THIS TOPIC

http://www.sikhsangat.com/index.php?showtopic=12544

HOPE IT ALL WORKS OUT

VAHEGURU JI KA KHALSA VAHEGURU JI KI FATEH

[Rani]

and what about respect for the parents?

[Heera Singh]

what about it..??

Because the relationship was ended, her parents made a deal that she would be kicked out from the house if they didnt marry.

what kind of parents are that? in that sort of situation... they don't deserve any respect...

After that, the girl has been blackmailed and set under pressure by the old guy and he spreads hatred against that girl. She feels very down ( mentally & physically )  , people keep asking her to tell whether the guy is right or why he is telling weird and disrespecting things about that girl.

i don't completely understand... which old guy?... is it the same family that gave her shelter tha's 'blackmailing' her..?

in any case... this gurl is goin through madd ruff times... i dunno if it would be smart movin back in wit her parents... we all know how indian families are... they're probably gonna curse her.... maybe abuse her.. and get her married off to some next dude... and especially if she's on the path of sikhi... tha's not the situation she wants to be in...

i guess it all depends on certain specifics... i.e.... age... both of them... where they live.. can they afford to live on their own... what does the guyz family think... etc... etc... we see this situation more and more these dayz... parents are parents.. but they need to act like it too... just because they're ur parents they don't have any rite to control ur life... like in this situation... and especially if i's not gonna help her gursikhi jeevan...

i personally think... they should get married (considering they both want to)... i mean even if needs be.. they can still live wit HIS family rite..? (considering his family accepts..)....

i guess we gotta see how things work out..

[SINGH20]

what about it..??

After that, the girl has been blackmailed and set under pressure by the old guy and he spreads hatred against that girl. She feels very down ( mentally & physically )  , people keep asking her to tell whether the guy is right or why he is telling weird and disrespecting things about that girl.

i don't completely understand... which old guy?... is it the same family that gave her shelter tha's 'blackmailing' her..?

I m referring to the boy she HAD relationship with( who was blackmailing etc.. )

[Amrit]

i dnt get it....how cum she was allowed to marry the first guy was they set up by the parents or smat??

[Heera Singh]

ohhh.. alrite... well... if the dude is BLACMAILING her... why the HELL would she marry him?.... tha's bout the dumbest thing she could do... if its really bad, she can get a restraining order against him... but yeh.. she needs to get away from him...

btw.. how long has it been since she was wit the OLD guy...?

[japmans]

wow.. okay

for whatever reason peoploe aitn' gettin the situation

girl.... liked guy #1 .. but guy #1 = <admin-profanity filter activated>..badd badd guy! do bad the tings!

girl tells parents bout guy#1... parents say marry guy#1....bad bad tings! parents kick girl out cvuz girl says no!

girl meets guy #2.... likes guy#2... hestitant to get married, but likes guy#2....

BUT... guy#1 spreading bad bad tings! bad tings! about girl... baddd guy #1... badd...

so...what to do!?

[Heera Singh]

i actually understand the situation clearly ...

but it was good that u put #'s hahahaha...less confusing...

i'm sayin to ditch guy #1.... take guy #2... he obviously really likes her.... she likes him too.. parents shouldn't have a say in nethin 'cause they're dumbassses kicked her out 'cuse she wouldn't marry guy #1... which is because #1 treated her like crap.... and he's blackmailin her.. and talkin bad bout her... so she REALLY needs to stay away from #1...

i say.. go for #2... he has to also talk to his parents.. and yeh.. go from there..

[Amrit]

japmans u brill i actually understand it betta now, yeh i agree get tell the 2nd guys parents and go from there