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Mum's Making Life Hell

Guest Amar Singh

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Guest Amar Singh

I donno why but my mum seems to want to make my life hell and wants me out the house she even says that openly.......

i'm at the age where they are starting to talk about marriage... and before I do get married I need a good job and a place of my own, which I dont have. I see friends and cousins doing great and settling down but I don't see future.

I feel like crap and mum doesnt understand she just keeps hurting me mentally saying im not trying hard enuff looking for a job even though I am she doesnt care.

I wish I could just have my own place somewhere right now away from the grief im getting at home..... but I dont no.gif .... Anyone feel the same? any advice?

Is there any help out there for me from the local council? like housing benefit or living allowence? im from uk by the way..... I dont think I can live in the same home and take much more abuse from her.....

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waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru jiki fatehh

umm dont u have relatives somewhere bit far from ur home? spend some time with them. take a vication. it should clear ur mind a bit. or go to india...nd do seva of some old people's place or at Gurdwara sahib. im sure u can do soemthing like that at uk as well. it hsould freshn u up a bit

Spend som time with Guru sahib ji :nihungsmile:

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waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh,

Great idea..... but someone just can't leave their home and go do sewa in India like on a random spare of the moment can they?

What kinda Sikh organisations are their who are willing to take on ppl, house them, feed them while they do sewa for the local community there?

Wait I heard of Khalsa Aid and Global Sikhs do you mean join ppl like them? That would be a fantastic idea! hmmmm I think I'd like to join up :wub:

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i dont know you have to leave home?? how come your mum is doing all this to you?? what about you dad?? is he on your side or her side?

i understand ......if you are the age of marrying and still dont have job and is not settle is really a tension for you and dont forget its a tension for your mum also....its not that she is shouting at you or kicking you out of the house because she hate you for no reason. its just all these things like marriage, job and all your cousins ssettled.....she is also worried ........she wants to see you same like them...or at least have a job (which is important in pardes)

just pray to babaji to give you a job and i am sure after this everything is fine...at least you will be away from home for like 8 hours a day which will make the arguements with mum less.

i dont know if this helped you...but i know running away from home ....leaving your parents who have brought you up is a wrong step.

by the way i am not amritdari ....so if you are one you should know more than me


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Guest _gupt_

ok my bro is looking for a job, gets a lot of hassle from my mum asking how come he still hasnt got a job even though his results only came 2 months ago lol.

but no reason to leave home, about getting married , well hes not planning to get married till he is nearly 30 so thats where ur different.

maybe u should calm ur mum down, tell her its really xompetitive out there so its really hard to find a job and her eating ur head in is not helping, also that u will get married soon but definitely after u r well settled so she should give u a few yrs and not hassle u so much.

really talk to her, it helps, it works.

be totally honest about ur feelings.

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I wish I could just have my own place somewhere right now away from the grief im getting at home..... but I dont  .... Anyone feel the same? any advice?

lolz, if i had a penny for everytym i felt lyk tht, id be livin it up!!!!

if u no tht ur mum is giving u grief for no reason, then jus stand ther while shez having a go, nod a few times to indicate ur listnin, and then jus go about ur busines!!!! tht way shez sed wateva she wantd to say, n ur not teking anything to heart.

sumtymes parents give grief, but us as their kidz gta learn how to tek it and b beta ppl for it.


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Mate, this is something which most if not all of us go through.

Having gone through the same stuff myself i speak with experience. I was in pretty much the exact same situation as you, finished uni, no job, no marriage, didnt want to start looking to get married etc.

Parents will give you a hard time becuuse when u are at this stage they think they have done their duty and now it is your turn to do yours. they think that they have gotten u educated and ready to stand on ur own two feet. In their eyes, its a normal and easy straigfht forward step to go from uni.. to work..to marriage/... to kids etc. Unfortunetly they dnt see the difficulties of getting a job and the worries of marriage.

Feeling like running away and that u cant take it anymore is sadly again normal feelings, we all feel like that, some more, some less. But seriously dont do it. You cant leave home just because your mum is nagging you about getting a job and getting married. Just have faith in guru ji and he himself will lead you to kirt kamai and work. If your having difficulty getting the exact job u want, then lower your standards for the short term, its better to be working in a rubbish admin job paying £5.50 an hour than sitting at home getting abuse and shittar everyday! at least that shows your making an effort!

now seriously there are plenty of these kinda jobs out there, as its summer many are held by students, but soon they will all retuirn to uni and the places will become available. Apply to job agencies etc for admin, clerical etc work, and keep lookin for the job u want. you can explain to ur mum, that ur workin but still lookin for the perfect job, she cant argue with that as money will be coming into the house.

marriage is a hard one, i still managing to avoid it at present lol! but on a serious note, it is hard explaining the fact that u want to be finacially stable before marriage as they think its just something u can work out together. get your job and then do the maths, show ur parents that this is how much a house will cost, and a car, and these will be my payments i need to make.. eventually they will hopefully see that you are thinkin sensibly about the future and will relax.

you just gotta keep going mate, running away isnt a solution, only something you'll regret. this is life my friend, and it aint easy!

and yes my mum gave me a real hard time too lol a very hard time.

but u need to keep faith in guru ji, he knows what he's doing, chin up mate! think like a singh practical and positive! we dont run away we fight on!

Good luck with the job hunting!

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