Sikh/white Couple

[buddasingh]

Janet, I think someone has mentioned the distinction between punjabi and sikh. I think someone has also mentioned that sikhs don't beleive that people need to "converted".

With the above in mind, I have a somewhat counterintuitive suggestion that may provide perspective and insight. If you are near a sikh gurudwara, attend there and try to see if you can understand or have someone translate some of the kirtan (musical hymns) for you.

One need not be Sikh to take solace in the kirtan. I am not sure if the translations will aid you, but I am hoping they provide you some perspective, peace and strength. You have posted your question on a sikh forum and many here would likely tell you that the peace we find comes via kirtan and simran. Sikhs don't beleive they have any greater right to this than non-sikhs. And please remember that this is not at all a suggestion for you to convert. Take from it what suits you.

Other than this, get out of your home, exercice, socialize, stay busy.

[amarjeet_singh_1699]

first of all, relationships before marriage is forbidden in sikhi, no matter what colour, caste, waeva.

and to those who say maybe its love not lust, what is love? the only true, forvever lasting love is that with vahiguru.

the relationship seems completely manmat in sikhi terms, reagrdless of the culture or caste of janet.

also turning into a sikh just to get married to some boy you like doesnt sound like a very wise idea. sikhi should come first not the boy.

why the sangat all tihnk that this is great i dont know. just because she's not punjabi doesnt mean that the relationship is fine.

i agree a sikh can be of any colour, caste, etc. but janet is not a sikh and to convert into one for the sake of a boy doesnt sound like a good idea to me.

[Jagmeet]

interesting topic

[superaju]

what is the topic!!

sikh must be out of 5 rogan: Kaam, Krod....

so sikh doesnt think about this...because our Sanjog are written when we werent born...

Fathe!

[Vahejeo]

My point in writing was not to attack anyone but this thread brings up the point of mixed marriages, and judging from the responses in this thread, everyone is saying its ok. And if youths read this thread and get the idea that getting girlfriend/boyfriend is OK and on top of that going outside of your race be it white/black/hindu, whatever is OK that is the wrong message. If you are a Sikh male what is wrong in getting a Singhnee? If you are a Sikh female what is wrong in getting a Singh? And if you ask people in mixed marriages how they came together, they say that they went to the same school or something and based on their attraction they began speaking and from there they took off. So it was due to them being in the same location in one point of time they got together, thats not what marriage is based on. What if the two of them were not in the same room when they were attracted together, they would have gone with the first person that gave them a stare. This is not what love is and esp this is not what a marriage is based on.

Also I was born and raised in America and I know both cultures very well I am not someone from India saying all this. If I come across as being rude or strong then I apologize, but I am entitled to my view just like everyone else on this forum.

Gurfateh Ji

[randip singh]

Sorry to hear about that.

This is more a cultural issue rather than a Sikh issue. There is nothing in the Sikh faith preventing such marriages.

Some people are very backward in terms of their outlook on life. Its sound as if his parents fall into this category.

I have a few relatives who have been married to Anglo Saxon women for as long as I can remember and they are very happy.

146351[/snapback]

I agree!

The Sikh faith has no bar in anyone marrying.

Althought the Akal Takht states a sikh must marry a Sikh, that is an outdated notion and was more concerned with people leaving the Sikh Paanth.

Sorry to hear about your plight, but I sometimes think Punjabi people are the thickest, dumbest, most illiterate, backward looking country bumpkins to walk on Gods earth!!!

[randip singh]

first of all, relationships before marriage is forbidden in sikhi, no matter what colour, caste, waeva.

and to those who say maybe its love not lust, what is love? the only true, forvever lasting love is that with vahiguru.

the relationship seems completely manmat in sikhi terms, reagrdless of the culture or caste of janet.

also turning into a sikh just to get married to some boy you like doesnt sound like a very wise idea. sikhi should come first not the boy.

why the sangat all tihnk that this is great i dont know. just because she's not punjabi doesnt mean that the relationship is fine.

i agree a sikh can be of any colour, caste, etc. but janet is not a sikh and to convert into one for the sake of a boy doesnt sound like a good idea to me.

146554[/snapback]

Sikhism is against LUST or Kaam, and Obsession with sex. Having a relationship before marriage is not the same as Kaam.

If someone is a Sikh and wants to have a long lasting relationship before marriage, I say good on them.

[randip singh]

In my opinion, forgive me for not agreeing with everyone in this thread, but I feel that mixed marriages are not a good idea.  There is really no plus in it because you are getting together based on feelings that you had for each other, otherwise known as lust.  This is not the way of Sikhi.  The normal way Sikh marriages are done is through arranging and so on, not love marriages.  Esp not love marriages outside of race.  This is not a question about what Sikhism says.  Sikhism says to respect everyone regardless of their race, which is great, BUT it doesn't say that you respect them so much that you marry that person and have kids.  That is wrong because it creates a lot of problems for the people involved and esp their families.  I totally agree with boys parents because there is no positive in this sort of arrangement not to mention the haertache the boy's parents must feel because he is going out of their race to marry.  Sikhi does not advocate girlfriend/boyfriend relationships in general and then on top of that love marriages, it's wrong.  Sikhism says to respect the human race, but not to go and marry others based on affection.

Buk Chuk the Khima

146446[/snapback]

The whole of Punjab is one mixed marriage. Have you noticed in a typical Punjabi family how many different shades there are?

Nonsense.

Sikhi is all for Love but is against Lust (Kaam = obsesion with sex). Relationships before marriage do not constitute Kaam.

[Vahejeo]

Where does it say that you can have relationships before marriage?

Gurfateh Ji

[singh_comradz]

yea, what the heck are you doing

<.<

...

Janet, are his parents aware that you are willing to adapt?

Personally, if I was him I would get a hukamnama, his parents wouldnt dare defy that...although this shouldnt be a problem in the first place.

146425[/snapback]

you never know, unfortunately not all ppl have the faith and respect for SGGS....

and janet, punjabi culture is very backward in some ways, try speaking to him again or his parents...its your only option