Grievance

[ParnaamShaheedaNu]

any updates with bhainji? you still there ji

[ishita]

hi

just thought that i will share this with u all i have a friend her only son who was 23 died by accident when i called her to sympathise guess what she tells me that he was gods gift to her for 23 years amazing so dear sister your brother was gods gift to u

[shergik]

Yes i'm still here. Am trying very hard to accept what has happened and to remember the good times, but it is so hard. i feel as though i've lost my right arm, and believe me if i could have him back i would easily give up my right arm. i'm at a stage now where words just can't express how i feel, and i don't know what else to say. i feel like i'm slowly dying inside, losing my personality, losing touch with the real world.

I was really upset last week, something happened between my mom and myself and i decided to confront her about why they were ignoring me and that i need them at this time - she turned round and said that i had my husband and that i didn't need them - this really really hurt. Ok i have my husband, but when i come to work he's asleep, when i get home from work he leaves for work, so exactly when am i supposed to talk to him, who can i talk to about those childhood memories that my brother and i shared all the time. anyway i spoke to my puaji about this and told her that even though she told me to continue contact with my parents as normal that i couldn't do it anymore, not when mom keeps saying hurtful things like this, i'm going through enough pain as it is without having to hear this like this. so this is exactly what i did, i didn't contact them at all, and when she phone me a couple of days ago i gave her one word answers to her questions just like she did with me, but i must say it's worked, she spoke to me properly yesterday and dad even came round to my house to see the kids. maybe me distancing myself will make them realise that they still have other children. my younger brother said it's made a differnece with the way they've spoken to him over the past few days.

[RickC]

Hi All

This is my first posting on Sikh Sangat, although i've visited a few times.

I'm going through a very difficult time and can't seem to come to terms with the loss of my older brother who was only 32.  I'm 31 and as you can imagine we were very close, we did everything together.  He was always there at the other end of the phone when i needed him, i spoke to him every day and now i feel lost.  i do have a younger brother whose 21, but he's more like my son as my older brother and i raised him.  My brother had a road traffic accident on 02.02.06 and suffered severe head injuries.  He never regained consciouness and sadly we had to let him go on 14.02.06.  When he had his accident the local community at our local temple did ardas 3 times a day every day and everyone kept saying waheguru will make him better, he'll listen to somebodies ardas, but why did waheguru make him better, why did he have to go.  I work at the hospital he passed away in, took me a long time to come back to work and it is so hard to work here.  My kids are always asking for their Mama.  All i seem to do is cry, i can't seem to accept this at all and the questioni "Why" is always on my lips, Why did waheguru do this, why did it have to happen at all, why couldn't he just wake up once, why why why :-(

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[RickC]

I am so sorry about your loss. I am not a Sikh Youth, I am actually an old man, almost 54 yrs old. I have lost many close to me, including both of my parents. My brothers wife died of cancer 6 yrs ago. It is still very hard for me to lose anyone close to me. I cry at the loss of people I don't even know! I am now studying to become a Sikh, so I am not very knowledgeable in this area. But, I just tell myself that perhaps this was their last incarnation. Your brother sounded like a great person but perhaps this was his time to merge with Waheguru. We can never understand death. But we must look at it as a beginning, not an end. You will see your brother again someday. In the meantime, we will keep you and your family in our thoughts and prayers. Your loss is our loss. God bless you and give you peace.

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh.

RickC