Wedding

[Guest confused]

WJKK WJKF! I have a strange situation. I am engaged to be married to an amritdhari singh in November. With Waheguru's kirpa I myself will be taking amrit next weekend. My fiance's parents are not religious what-so-ever. Which has caused a lot of dispute and confusion our wedding already. They asked for a reception and then further asked for the reception to have alcohol served. However, this was quickly rebutted with my parents insisting they will throw the reception. Unfortunately not all of our demands were met and the party will still have dancing/bhangra etc but will not have meat or alcohol. My problem is that the more we try to "simplify" the wedding the less they are giving in. They want a typical punjabi wedding with all the rituals/ceremonies like the mehndi/sangeet etc. They want us to dress a certain way etc. They have given in a little in that I won't have to wear the red color but they aren't budging on a lot of things. I live in a community where there is a small population of Sikhs (approximately 10 families) Sikhs and only 2 Gursikhs. My family has remained silent on the matter (besides insisting there will be no meat or alcohol) allowing me to make my own choices as they dont want to cause problems between my inlaws and I. To be honest I'm willing to give in to their demands and wear the mehndi, jewlery, heavy lengha just so that I will not have to hear their complaints in my married life and live a peaceful gursikh jeevan, however is this possible with having the lavish wedding which will undoubtedly occur? Will this negatively effect my Sikhi? Will I be looked down upon because of this? My fiance also wants a very simple wedding but things are already strained with his parents and he can not bring up this matter anymore than he already has as it is making things very tense at his home. I am very confused and request guidance from anyone who can offer it! Thank you.

[Pheena]

Things are negative when you percieve them to be negative and they affect you when you allow them to affect you. Nothing can affect you without your permission.

Who is going to look down upon you? I don't see it as a question if others will look donw upon you, rather how will you let it affect you.

Some times we are faced with tough choices which must be made by us alone while disregarding the other. The other can very easily brand a lable upon you with the Manmukhta wedding, yet the other is unable to understand the position you were in, the circumstance you were placed in . If you take your Guru to be the sole Judge, then the Guru already knows your circumstances. Although the Guru already knows, but for your own sake share your thoughts, worries, troubles, through your prayer. The Guru is afterall understanding.

Be within the world, yet not 'IN' the world. Walk through the lavish wedding, yet remain simple in your attitude. Wear the Heavy dress, yet walk with a light heart.

It seems there are thign swhich are out of your control, it is up to you how want this wedding to be remembered.

[Khalsa4ever]

Waheguroo jee ka Khalsa!

Waheguroo jee kee Fateh!

You can always refuse on your behalf, and so can your fiance.

If you think something is wrong, or makes you feel unconfortable, just remind them that this is YOUR wedding and that you would rather not do that.

I'm sure your amritdhari husband-to-be would agree with you in no alcohol, and things of that nature.

Waheguroo jee ka Khalsa!

Waheguroo jee kee Fateh!