Arranged Marriage

[Singh With Dunalli]

It depends on what the person likes, and what are his/her proirities. :TH:

ENOUGH SAID! :e:

[Sarpanchni_007]

what would you say to arrange marriage's now days. should they still carry on , or we should be able to choose our own partner by our own choice. should we change a bit with time or keep the restrictions as it was b4.

well what do u think of a arranged marriage being as???

parents chosing a boy/girl and you havent got time to speak to him/her so you just get married??? Naa,

I would define an arranged marriage as your parents find a boy/girl (or even yourself find a boy/girl) then go tell your parents that you like that person if you found them yourselves so they can arrange the marriage OR if the parents have chosen the person then you spend time with them get to know them then get married.

Thats my definition of arrranged marriage but dont know how others may see it as. Alot of people confuse force marriages with arranged marriage

[Saini]

I am totally against arranged marriages. My cousin had his marriaged arrange but it didn't work out in the end. They did the traditional thing of going to the girls house etc etc and they both said yes. After about 4 months of talking on the phone/seeing each other they both realised that they weren't meant to be. At this time both sides had made all the wedding arrangements like the hall, dj, wedding cards etc. At this stage neither of them wanted to tell their parents because of how far the arrangements had gone.

The marriage only last 1 year before they got devorced. Now this isn't going to be the case with all arranged marriages, I know that, but I do feel that everyone should find their own partner.

[Khalsa_Girl_1]

Waheguroo jee ka Khalsa!

Waheguroo jee kee Fateh!

I'm of the opinion that no marriage is truly arranged... the choice is ALWAYS with the person getting married. If they choose to agree to whatever their parents say, fine, but that is a dangerous prospect, especially today when so many parents DO NOT SHARE the ideals of their kids.

This works both ways. I know people whose parents are strict gursikhs, and their kids are effective party animals. But I also know (personally) some people who are very much on the path of Sikhi, but their parents and family couldn't give a damn. In these cases, it should be upto the individual to decide what they feel is best.

Waheguroo jee ka Khalsa!

Waheguroo jee kee Fateh!

but some people dont have a say

[Khalsa4ever]

Waheguroo jee ka Khalsa!

Waheguroo jee kee Fateh!

People always have a say... they may not think they do. Remember, you can't get married unless you sign that sheet of paper. I know that would be an absolute last ditch effort, but think about it... what guy would want to marry someone who is fighting with all her might to NOT marry him?

Waheguroo jee ka Khalsa!

Waheguroo jee kee Fateh!

[Guest s133k_s1kh]

FATEH!!!

I do agree wid most of the comments here. But there was a guy totally against arranged marriages and he gave one lame example. I have like a million examples where LOVE marriages havent worked.

So, for me if one finds a match for himself/herself ..PERFECT, but again going against u'r parents is wrong. You should introduce the guy/girl to u'r parents and respect their opinion aswell. am pretty sure thy wont thk bad for u .

and ye if u havent been able to find a suitable match for u'r self and u'r parents are askin u to meet someone... GO FOR IT...as i said parents find someone for u after a lot of calculations.. trust me on dis one :wub: .Ofcourse if u dont like certain things bout him/her.. YOU CAN ALWAYS SAY NO...

after a certain age ..it becomes hard to find da rght match .. so i think if u have someone in u'r mind ..thn dont waste tyme..till its too late .

I WISH THAT A GURSIKH NEVER GETS HURT WHEN IT COMES TO GETTIN INVOLVED IN A RELATIONSHIP.

GUR FATEH!!!

Tejbir Singh

[cheema_nz]

interesting topic....lol..i believe that we can find our partner ourself and then go over to our parents to approve of it...my parents have always told me that i can marry any1 irrespective of caste or religion....but my mom says I shud be only marrying some1 who likes me for what i am ....that is A Sikh boy with turban n beard...she said there is nothing bigger than sikhi so if a girl wants me to cut my hair or has little preference n respect for them then she is not for me...

and in todays world i believe in India and in New Zealand as well it is hard to find punjabi girls who likes turbaned boys...although i have some goris at my work make comments on my turban...saying wow that looks cool...lol...n i feel all proud...lol...might be they havnt seen any1 with turban before as i am the only turbaned boy in the whole company...lol..

so yeah i dnt plan to get married anytime soon...n havnt even thought abt it but i think when the time comes i will let my mom do the search n i am sure our parents are always right...other than once or twice...lol

[Guest PRITAM SINGH KHALSA]

Maybe people should talk with their parents when they are young to arrange a marraige where they can actually pick who to marry instead of the clueless parents.

In order for an arranged marraige to work the parents have to know both their own child as well as the other person, and not just how they think they know but actually knowing all the real personalities of both people and not how the person percieves themselves to be towards society, but when one or both is a two faced person and the parents dont know then the marraige will be somewhat of a sham.

[Jaspaul Singh]

I am totally against arranged marriages. My cousin had his marriaged arrange but it didn't work out in the end. They did the traditional thing of going to the girls house etc etc and they both said yes. After about 4 months of talking on the phone/seeing each other they both realised that they weren't meant to be. At this time both sides had made all the wedding arrangements like the hall, dj, wedding cards etc. At this stage neither of them wanted to tell their parents because of how far the arrangements had gone.

The marriage only last 1 year before they got devorced. Now this isn't going to be the case with all arranged marriages, I know that, but I do feel that everyone should find their own partner.

thats why as someone mentioned u got to get to know the person .. 4 months is SUCH a small time..

most of my friends or people i know have gotten arranged marriages but not marrying or even getting 'engaged' (or in other words officially announced to everyone else) until they are fully satisfied. Some take 6 months, to a year, to 2 yrs+.

But the KEY is .. both sides parents knew they were seeing each other, which is exceptable in sikhi.