Family (mother) Problems

[Guest some stupid girl]

waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh,

(i am very upset and what i say may seem confusing because i cnt balance my thoughts ri now..bear with me)

sangat jio, i have been keeping this inside from the outisde world since i was 12 years old. my mom and i do not get along. she is a great mom, she would do anything for me, but she has extreme anger problems. when she gets upset the whole family has to basically shutup and let her say what she wants. we know that she is very frusterated inside because she never worked a day in her life just to take care of me and my siblings..(shes a houewife). me and my mom get into major fights at least once every 2months somtimes every 2 weeks. they usually start with her being in an already bad mood and then with me sparking the argument with something stupid like not doin housework or somthing. i am aware that i also have extreme anger problems. i will say things that i could never imagine myself saying (cursing, wishing death upon certain persons, how much i want to strangle them, how either they are gonna get killed or i am..those are just some examples)..ill break things, bang doors, knock thigs over...all these things happen between me and my mom. i KNOW that i should just shutup when she "starts" --my dad tells me this all the time..but i honestly cant take it. its so frusterating, shell starting screaming over stupid things --for example yesterday i had a quiz at uni/college and i never wrote it because my teacher never showed up. i told my dad when he asked me how it went, he got upset and he told my mom and she started yelling at me this mornin while i was eating cereal--"why dont u ever tell me?! ur never going to succeed in life..mark my words..ur never gona become anything..ur just here to ruin my life..ur gonna kill me..i know you want me to die..ur just waiting..then you will be happy.." (she says the thing about me never getting anywhere in life almost every other day) somtimes shell say things like "tu kimey raljengi changey bancheyaan naal? oh tere vangu lafungey ni turey firdey" (I swear ive never gon eout with a guy in my life, never gone clubbin..anitin of dat sort..yet she associates me with that crowd) sangat ji i am no less tho. i talk back alot but its because i feel i have no choice. i'll start saying things like "thats not even true, i didn tell you because you would've started on me, why do you think so negative, what the f*k wrong with you..you need help..you are such a problem..i hate you so much..why dont u just leave me alone"(in a RAGING voice) --i know i am wrong. somtimes it even gets to pushing and shoving, kicking..today i broke an expensive planter, ripped a painting, knocked over all the disjes on te counter.. i just get these fits of rage when i dont knwo what i'm doing..i just feel so extreme..i cud easily kill somone at those times. i feel very shameful telling everyone this but i just don't know what i should do. i mean i fully knwo that i am absolutely wrong for my actions but if you were in my shoes youd understand its like suicide! torture! she doesn't want to live with me. she said its impossible to get along with me, thats i hate her. sangat ji i say hurtful things but i dont really hate her, shes supposed to know that. how come shes so immature? my dad often tells her that shes the parent and that she has to control herself before i do, she has 2 other kids to take care of too. but deep inside i sometimes feel that i AM the problem. maybe ifi didn exist life would be better off for everyone.

i try to do nitnem every morning, rehiraas..but most of the time i dont. im a paapi i dont 'feel' like doing it..or waking up..its always "ok ill do it tomrow"..i go to the gurdwara how much i cn, smagams, keeratn programs, ransbayees..but im so thick headed..i get so pumped up when i see other youth so involved and passionate with sikhi, i try to be like them too. how pathetic of me. how cn i compare myself to all of you great Guru dey Sikh! whats teh point when i hurt my family? you gotta be nitnemi and respect your parents before you start going to ransbayees etc. rite? i feel so ashamed and worthless. what shoudl i do? im not talking to my mom again (this is a normal ting by the way). she said shes not my mother and i said thats fine m not her daughetr i dont really give a <admin-profanity filter activated>..i feel so embarassed to do ardaas because its my own fault. im sure Guru Ji is so disgusted with me and wants nothing to do with me. im wrong. i dont even know why i am telling you all of this. there is no one i cn tell because its a shame to the family among society. just maybe somewhere out there a pyaara guru da Sikh can help this lowlife paapi.

sangat ji im sorry if ive offended anyone in any way, please have mercy on a paapi with your words of advice, put some sense into my thick head! critisize me, give me some tips, some hope..PLEASE!!! thank you for your time

eyes dried out from crying,

some stupid paapi girl

Waheguru Ji ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh.

[Guest baba amarjeet singh]

prubhaathee mehulaa 1

Prabhaatee, First Mehl:

KwieAw mYlu vDwieAw pYDY Gr kI hwix ]

khaaeiaa mail vudhaaeiaa paidhai ghur kee haan

Eating too much, one's filth only increases; wearing fancy clothes, one's home is disgraced.

bik bik vwdu clwieAw ibnu nwvY ibKu jwix ]1]

bak bak vaadh chulaaeiaa bin naavai bikh jaan

Talking too much, one only starts arguments. Without the Name, everything is poison - know this well. ||1||

bwbw AYsw ibKm jwil mnu vwisAw ]

baabaa aisaa bikhum jaal mun vaasiaa

O Baba, such is the treacherous trap which has caught my mind;

ibblu Jwig shij prgwisAw ]1] rhwau ]

bibul jhaag sehaj purugaasiaa

riding out the waves of the storm, it will be enlightened by intuitive wisdom. ||1||Pause||

ibKu Kwxw ibKu bolxw ibKu kI kwr kmwie ]

bikh khaanaa bikh bolunaa bikh kee kaar kumaae

They eat poison, speak poison and do poisonous deeds.

jm dir bwDy mwrIAih CUtis swcY nwie ]2]

jum dhar baadhae maareeahi shoottas saachai naae

Bound and gagged at Death's door, they are punished; they can be saved only through the True Name. ||2||

ijv AwieAw iqv jwiesI kIAw iliK lY jwie ]

jiv aaeiaa thiv jaaeisee keeaa likh lai jaae

As they come, they go. Their actions are recorded, and go along with them.

mnmuiK mUlu gvwieAw drgh imlY sjwie ]3]

munumukh mool guvaaeiaa dhurugeh milai sujaae

The self-willed manmukh loses his capital, and is punished in the Court of the Lord. ||3||

jgu KotO scu inrmlO gur sbdIN vIcwir ]

jug khottu such nirumulu gur subudhee veechaar

The world is false and polluted; only the True One is Pure. Contemplate Him through the Word of the Guru's Shabad.

qy nr ivrly jwxIAih ijn AMqir igAwnu murwir ]4]

thae nur virulae jaaneeahi jin anthar giaan muraar

Those who have God's spiritual wisdom within, are known to be very rare. ||4||

Ajru jrY nIJru JrY Amr Anµd srUp ]

ajur jurai neejhur jhurai amur anundh suroop

They endure the unendurable, and the Nectar of the Lord, the Embodiment of Bliss, trickles into them continuously.

nwnku jl kO mInu sY Qy BwvY rwKhu pRIiq ]5]13]

naanuk jul ku meen sai thae bhaavai raakhuhu preeth

O Nanak, the fish is in love with the water; if it pleases You, Lord, please enshrine such love within me. ||5||13||

[Ramneet Singh]

ouch.... well........ur situation sounds almost exactly like mine...... cept for like the major krodh ur sayin ur mom has. My parents say things like that all the time to me, like not even kidding , its a daily thing for me. I jus do w/e i do to fight the other 5 evils, simran, simran , simran!! And by no means am i even a gursikh, but thats jus how i get over it. Plus um.. iunno how old ur mom is but it might be that um.. mid age thing women go through, iunno if i'm aloud to say it on forums , but like i heard it can invoke major mood swings, so it might be sumthing u could speak to a doctor about? Also don't think for a second that guru ji wants nothing to do with you... your his child he wants the best for u.. even though we can't always see it. Also dont't b so harsd on urself, i admire the fact that u jus came out with this issue and i honestly dont think if there are that many true gursikhs out there.... me bein not even 1% close but, doesn't mean i'm jus gonna give up.... u shouldn't either.... Just do one true ardas and guru ji will hear u and help u.....

Sorry if i said anything wrong, i'm jus another paapi who thinks he knows what hes talkin about....

[Guest Sache Paatshah Kirpa Karan]

Bhenji, a very touching story.

I want you to know that you are definately NOT alone - its surprising how similar my problems were to yours. Krodh is an incredibly destructive demon, and can ruin a lifetime in an instant. YOU MUST realise that it is not 'you' that is getting angry, or even your 'mum' - its all Krodh (within an entity). Instead of confronting your mum, try confronting your Krodh - the biggest battle you will ever fight is the internal one - and theres only 1 way to fight it, which Im sure you already know (look @ gurbani shabad provided by veer amarjeet singh)

I know that parents can sometimes say pretty exaggerated stuff, but you must not blame them. Your urge to think bad about them is a weakness inside yourself - target this! EVEN when you KNOW that YOU are right, DO NOT fight back. If you MUST respond, do so in a calm manner/tone. DO NOT think that this will instantly resolve all your problems - it is only the beginning. Do ARDAAS from the bottom of your heart, begging for Vaheguru to come to your aid; I have absolutely no doubt, your issues will be resolved before you know it.

Becoming more SEHJ (peaceful) will radiate around you, and you will find that your environment will too begin to blossom. Insults/fights are to a Gursikh what stones are to an iron shield - impenetrable. Pick yourself up, dust it off, forgive and forget, and experience first hand the unlimited power of your creator.

[Guest Papi]

gauVI mhlw 5 mWJ ]

gourree mehalaa 5 maa(n)jh ||

Gauree, Fifth Mehla, Maajh:

duK BMjnu qyrw nwmu jI duK BMjnu qyrw nwmu ]

dhukh bha(n)jan thaeraa naam jee dhukh bha(n)jan thaeraa naam ||

The Destroyer of sorrow is Your Name, Lord; the Destroyer of sorrow is Your Name.

AwT phr AwrwDIAY pUrn siqgur igAwnu ]1] rhwau ]

aat(h) pehar aaraadhheeai pooran sathigur giaan ||1|| rehaao ||

Twenty-four hours a day, dwell upon the wisdom of the Perfect True Guru. ||1||Pause||

ijqu Git vsY pwrbRhmu soeI suhwvw Qwau ]

jith ghatt vasai paarabreham soee suhaavaa thhaao ||

That heart, in which the Supreme Lord God abides, is the most beautiful place.

jm kMkru nyiV n AwveI rsnw hir gux gwau ]1]

jam ka(n)kar naerr n aavee rasanaa har gun gaao ||1||

The Messenger of Death does not even approach those who chant the Glorious Praises of the Lord with the tongue. ||1||

syvw suriq n jwxIAw nw jwpY AwrwiD ]

saevaa surath n jaaneeaa naa jaapai aaraadhh ||

I have not understood the wisdom of serving Him, nor have I worshipped Him in meditation.

Et qyrI jgjIvnw myry Twkur Agm AgwiD ]2]

outt thaeree jagajeevanaa maerae t(h)aakur agam agaadhh ||2||

You are my Support, O Life of the World; O my Lord and Master, Inaccessible and Incomprehensible. ||2||

Bey ik®pwl gusweIAw nTy sog sMqwp ]

bheae kirapaal gusaaeeaa nat(h)ae sog sa(n)thaap ||

When the Lord of the Universe became merciful, sorrow and suffering departed.

qqI vwau n lgeI siqguir rKy Awip ]3]

thathee vaao n lagee sathigur rakhae aap ||3||

The hot winds do not even touch those who are protected by the True Guru. ||3||

guru nwrwiexu dXu guru guru scw isrjxhwru ]

gur naaraaein dhay gur gur sachaa sirajanehaar ||

The Guru is the All-pervading Lord, the Guru is the Merciful Master; the Guru is the True Creator Lord.

guir quTY sB ikCu pwieAw jn nwnk sd bilhwr ]4]2]170]

gur thut(h)ai sabh kishh paaeiaa jan naanak sadh balihaar ||4||2||170||

When the Guru was totally satisfied, I obtained everything. Servant Nanak is forever a sacrifice to Him. ||4||2||170||

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gauVI mhlw 5 ]

gourree mehalaa 5 ||

Gauree, Fifth Mehla:

ijsu ismrq dUKu sBu jwie ]

jis simarath dhookh sabh jaae ||

Remembering Him in meditation, all pains are gone.

nwmu rqnu vsY min Awie ]1]

naam rathan vasai man aae ||1||

The jewel of the Naam, the Name of the Lord, comes to dwell in the mind. ||1||

jip mn myry goivMd kI bwxI ]

jap man maerae govi(n)dh kee baanee ||

O my mind, chant the Bani, the Hymns of the Lord of the Universe.

swDU jn rwmu rsn vKwxI ]1] rhwau ]

saadhhoo jan raam rasan vakhaanee ||1|| rehaao ||

The Holy People chant the Lord's Name with their tongues. ||1||Pause||

ieksu ibnu nwhI dUjw koie ]

eikas bin naahee dhoojaa koe ||

Without the One Lord, there is no other at all.

jw kI idRsit sdw suKu hoie ]2]

jaa kee dhrisatt sadhaa sukh hoe ||2||

By His Glance of Grace, eternal peace is obtained. ||2||

swjnu mIqu sKw kir eyku ]

saajan meeth sakhaa kar eaek ||

Make the One Lord your friend, intimate and companion.

hir hir AKr mn mih lyKu ]3]

har har akhar man mehi laekh ||3||

Write in your mind the Word of the Lord, Har, Har. ||3||

riv rihAw srbq suAwmI ]

rav rehiaa sarabath suaamee ||

The Lord Master is totally pervading everywhere.

gux gwvY nwnku AMqrjwmI ]4]62]131]

gun gaavai naanak a(n)tharajaamee ||4||62||131||

Nanak sings the Praises of the Inner-knower, the Searcher of hearts. ||4||62||131||

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soriT mhlw 5 ]

sorat(h) mehalaa 5 ||

Sorat'h, Fifth Mehla:

ismir ismir guru siqguru Apnw sglw dUKu imtwieAw ]

simar simar gur sathigur apanaa sagalaa dhookh mittaaeiaa ||

Meditating, meditating in remembrance on my Guru, the True Guru, all pains have been eradicated.

qwp rog gey gur bcnI mn ieCy Pl pwieAw ]1]

thaap rog geae gur bachanee man eishhae fal paaeiaa ||1||

The fever and the disease are gone, through the Word of the Guru's Teachings, and I have obtained the fruits of my mind's desires. ||1||

myrw guru pUrw suKdwqw ]

maeraa gur pooraa sukhadhaathaa ||

My Perfect Guru is the Giver of peace.

krx kwrx smrQ suAwmI pUrn purKu ibDwqw ] rhwau ]

karan kaaran samarathh suaamee pooran purakh bidhhaathaa || rehaao ||

He is the Doer, the Cause of causes, the Almighty Lord and Master, the Perfect Primal Lord, the Architect of Destiny. ||Pause||

Anµd ibnod mMgl gux gwvhu gur nwnk Bey dieAwlw ]

ana(n)dh binodh ma(n)gal gun gaavahu gur naanak bheae dhaeiaalaa ||

Sing the Glorious Praises of the Lord in bliss, joy and ecstasy; Guru Nanak has become kind and compassionate.

jY jY kwr Bey jg BIqir hoAw pwrbRhmu rKvwlw ]2]15]43]

jai jai kaar bheae jag bheethar hoaa paarabreham rakhavaalaa ||2||15||43||

Shouts of cheers and congratulations ring out all over the world; the Supreme Lord God has become my Savior and Protector. ||2||15||43||

[Bored]

"some stupid girl" y do u call urself "some stupid girl"?